Pregnancy Q and A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

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Posted by LIWeddings NYCityWeddings



Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.



Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

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these are the best!!

A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office.
She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor.

After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, 'Is he breast fed or on the bottle?'

'Oh...he is breast fed!', replied the woman.
'Well then, strip down to your waist,' orders the doctor.

She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table.
The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.

The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says -
'No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!'

The woman with a wry grin on her face responds...'Well of course I don't.'
'I'm his aunt - but I'm SURE GLAD I brought him in!'

MrsERod you quoted the exact same two I would have quoted!!!

Those are great!