Priest Question

My fiance did some research on Father Douglass Trees online and he said that if Father Trees marries us outside at our reception hall, it will still be valid in the Catholic church? Is that right? If so, why is that and is it also true for Father Brennan, etc?

Priest Question

I know this stuff is SUPER confusing, but I promise that my research has taken me as high as the Chancellor of the Archdiocese in Long Island, New York City AND New Jersey. NO priest can marry you outside of the church if you are marrying another Roman Catholic. It will not be recognized. Now - If you are marrying inter-faith, you can go to the Archdiocese and request dispensation, which is basically a form approved by the Bishop that okays you to be married outside a church. That form is the ONLY thing that will make it a recognized sacrament for the Catholic in the couple. Under NO circumstances (unless I think if maybe you are sick and housebound or something God Forbid), can two baptized Catholics marry outside of the church and have it recognized as a Catholic marriage. You should look at www.drvc.org. Good luck - If you have any other questions, please e-mail me at [email protected]!

Priest Question - Jenny

I'm Episcopalian and my FH is Catholic. I'm assuming it still won't be recognized by the catholic church right?

Priest Question - Jenny

right you are. It's SUPER strict. (the Episcopal is no problem - it's the Roman Catholic that won't budge!). Is it very important to you that it be recognized as a sacrament for you?

Priest Question - Jenny

It's not very important to me that it be recognized, it's kind of important to my FH but not completely necessary. My problem is that he thinks Father Trees doing the ceremony makes it valid in the church based on what he read on their website and Father Trees is more expensive than the other priests and my FH thinks it's b/c it's a sacrament with Father Trees and not with the others. Who did you use?

Priest Question - Jenny

See - a lot of these priests say that it will be recognized. Here's the thing. Normally, these priests have left the Diocese to get married, live a more liberal life and so on. A lot of them join more liberal view Catholic Churches that have been put together. In these churches they will recognize married priests, homosexuality and so on. It's a much more welcoming organization (I think). So your marriage would be recognized by this church - I think Father Trees is from Chevaliers of Notre Dame or something like that. BUT it won't be for the 'real' Roman Catholic Church. In the eyes of the Pope, and so on. There are a few priests I have looked into and I think I've found one I feel comfy with. Father Wilshere who was referred by Cira on this board. He left the ministry to be married and he's not with a church now. There's also Father Fehrenbacher who is also with the Notre Dame segment and Father Allmen who is very nice with the American Catholic Church. I have a lot of #'s if you're interested and please feel free to e-mail me! They all seem to charge about $300 - $350.

Another Question - Jenny

Sorry for all of the questions, but do any of the priests that you mentioned do a rehearsal the night before your wedding? Also, do you even recommend Father Trees? Of all of them, I'm assuming that you prefer Father Wilshere right?

I've heard horror stories about ...

Father Fehrenbacher - we cancelled our service with him based on someone's interpretation on this board. There is no rehearsal - just before the ceremony, but Father Wilshere does walk you through everything that I'm sure you could host your own rehearsal. Ask him any questions, he be happy to assist you! He is Super nice like Jenny said!

Another Question - Jenny

I don't know about rehearsals because we can't rehearse at Oheka Castle before because it's booked solid with brides. SO - we are going to just go over the ceremony and decide who's walking when and so on and then have a 'rehearsal dinner' type thing where I'll hand out the info to everybody. I dont' think it's so hard really. I am going to keep the ceremony really simple. Oh and yes =- the posts on Fehrenbahcer combing his hair during the ceremony scared the poop out of me too Cira! Not to mention the wine!

Fr.Allmen

This guy was written up in a major scandal about 10 years ago. Seems he was excommunicated from the RC Church and misrepresented himself to many brides who had to be remarried. Hope this helps

Fr.Allmen

wow bridal - thanks for the info

Jenny11.9... (long)

I just want to congratulate you on doing all the research to make sure - absolutely, positively - that you are doing what`s right for you. I`ve posted on this topic so many times in the last 1 1/2 years I`m tired of it! LOL I went through MONTHS of research and after speaking w/ *former* RC Priests - I had conversations w/ all of those mentioned here - each one of them told me that dispensation wasn`t necessary when I *knew* it was! Egads, I was SO discouraged. Anyway, through my perserverance! we used Father Camp from (still with!!) St. William the Abbot in Seaford! He was wonderful. Good luck!! :)

Kathi

Thanks for the kudos. It's unreal to me how little I (and my family) knew about the rules of a religion we thought we were so close to. Not to mention how MEAN the priests can be! LOL! I hope my research and others like yours can make future brides a little more knowledgeable before going into all this. Good luck with your planning -

I'm married 5 1/2 months already! Time flies!! :) *NM*

dispensation

Has anyone ever gotten the dispensation? How was the process? What do they ask you or make you promise. MY FH is Greek and we decided to get married in a Greek Church. I called the RC church and they informed me that I would need a dispensation. RC told me to come in 6 mos before the wedding? Thanks!