Prob with a BM

I have a best friend...who was always my best friend....we were inseperable in H.S...and now my wedding rolls around...and I ask her to be a BM in my wedding. I announced this at my Engagement party...and since then...we have spoken ONCE...its now Jan...and the party was on Oct.
I love her to death...but i feel like she doesnt want to be bothered with me....i dont know if its bc im getting married...or she doesnt want to be involved and doesnt want to tell me.
What do i do????

Shes dating someone....but i dont think its anything serious....
It just bothers me...bc the other BMs are so exciting and helpfull and she wont even call me!

some people are just affected like that. its not that she doesn't care, but i'm sure her thinking is, when do i buy my dress and when do i need to show up at the church. try not to take it personally, she may come around as the wedding gets closer

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Posted by Kim51103

What do i do????

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You need to get in touch with her and find out what's really going on. Maybe she's just going through some stuff.

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Posted by Kim51103

Shes dating someone....but i dont think its anything serious....
It just bothers me...bc the other BMs are so exciting and helpfull and she wont even call me!

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I've been a bridesmaid twice before...and I am going to one this summer and MOH to SFP0214 six days later.

I totally talk to all my 'brides' the time. and i ask how the plans are...but i don't think other than maybe bring a cake to a shower, did i really help a brides out at all....but now that i'm MOH, I expect to do more.

but she doesn't call you at ALL?

I would call her - make a real effort and see what's going on in her life? I have friends that I talk to never....but lately I have been attempting to be a good friend and call and see what's going on in THEIR life.

The worst thing is if you DON'T try.... at least you can say you tried. But I wouldn't come out and say 'Do you want to be my BM, do you care about my wedding?' or anything because it's not as important as it is to us.

For me, and granted I haven't chosen them yet, my BM are my friends but I really don't expect or want them to 'help' me with stuff. I am too much of a control freak. I don't even want FH to help. So for me, BM are about people I have fun with, who are going to be hot in their dress (wink) and people who in ten years I'll still have some sort of connection. I just don't see them as even having to be really interested in my wedding. As long as they remain intersted in ME....

JMO...but good luck.

Leese...i appreciate ur explaination...I havent spoken to her since the engagement party, which was in the beginning of October. Its not January..almost Feb.
I called her 5 TIMES last month..left numerous messages.she finally answered one day...and said she couldnt talk.
I then called her 4 DAYS ago and left ANOTHER message...and still no call...i mean she has e mail and cell phone...I have tried both.
Now what? Im not asking her to be involved or for money or anything!!!! JUST TO TALK!! is that to much to ask???

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Posted by Kim51103

I have a best friend...who was always my best friend....we were inseperable in H.S...and now my wedding rolls around...and I ask her to be a BM in my wedding. I announced this at my Engagement party...and since then...we have spoken ONCE...its now Jan...and the party was on Oct.
I love her to death...but i feel like she doesnt want to be bothered with me....i dont know if its bc im getting married...or she doesnt want to be involved and doesnt want to tell me.
What do i do????

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i have the same situation happening to me. i dont know what to do????????

This is one of the reasons that we chose ONLY family to be in the BP. There's a friend I would've loved to put in - she was in my sweet 16 court too- I haven't spoken to her since we got engaged! You truly find out who your friends are when you become a neurotic bride trying to perfect EVERY detail so brace yourself!!! I feel BADLY for my cousins!!!

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Posted by c731angel

she may feel as if she is losing her best friend because you are getting married. Call her and try to find out what she has going on.

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I agree. Since your friend is single, she may be scared that she is going to lose you. SHe may also be feeling bad about her own situation, wondering when she iwll be getting married. I think you should try to talk to her and explain how you feel. ALso let her know that you will still be there for her, married or not. If she doesn't respond, then you know you tried,

Best of luck.

Well i called again tonite...and no answer....
Uggg.....its bothering me SOOO much!
How can u UNINVITE someone in ur BP?
lol

hey girls! Just wanted to say thanks for everyone who tried to help me with my situation!
She spoke to me today...and lets just say that whats going on with her right now will be better in 9 months!
Thanks girls!

Gotcha!...Glad everything worked out.

Im glad there was a silver lining to your cloud, but have you ladies noticed this becoming an epidemic. I think it just might be the stress getting to us!! All though I still have not talked to my MOH and it's been over two months. She was nice enough to finally respond to an email and let me know that she was having issues and when she felt like talking to someone she would and how dare I not be understanding Needless to say after 10yrs. of friendship a response like that made me realize that I should've asked my sister to begin with so I did

I would definitely talk to her. Maybe invite her to lunch, tell her how you feel and ask her what's up? Maybe something is bothering her and she doesn't want to say.

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Posted by Kim51103

hey girls! Just wanted to say thanks for everyone who tried to help me with my situation!
She spoke to me today...and lets just say that whats going on with her right now will be better in 9 months!
Thanks girls!

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Well that would explain why she has not been in the mood to speak...Maybe she felt embarassed or didn't want to burden you with her problems now when she knows you have the wedding stress...It is understandable, but remember, now you can relax & know things will be better!

Thanks girls!!!!!

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Posted by Kim51103

I have a best friend...who was always my best friend....we were inseperable in H.S...and now my wedding rolls around...and I ask her to be a BM in my wedding. I announced this at my Engagement party...and since then...we have spoken ONCE...its now Jan...and the party was on Oct.
I love her to death...but i feel like she doesnt want to be bothered with me....i dont know if its bc im getting married...or she doesnt want to be involved and doesnt want to tell me.
What do i do????

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you know what my friends to the same thing
they are allllllllllllllllll single execpt for a few that are engaged

but my single friends never ask me how my plans are going . if i need help with anything
but i have been friends with them for 11 years lol they were and are a big part of my life ..

i guess they just do not understand it yet because they are still single who knows

I'm glad to see everything worked out for you!
I know what its like not to have friends talk to you for months at a time. I have had this problem with two of my friends, and they are not in the situation your friend is in.