I went to a RH and the BM informed me that their hall provided 2 bridal attendants for the bridal suite.
I am obviously new at this but what the heck is a 'bridal attendant' and what do they do? Do most catering halls that have bridal suites come with them, and if not - what purpose do they serve? Do you need to tip them? if so, how much?
What do they do that people in your bridal party or close relatives can't? Please enlighten me!
nicopico13
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
They are basically your biotch for the night. They will get you drinks, food, help with your dress, hold your flowers or help carry your train when taking pics. We only had 1 and we tipped her $100.
LegalDiva
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
Wow, that's kinda cool, I guess.. Not sure if I'd want someone to dote on me all day like that.
Can you do w/o one and request none from the catering hall? Does each catering hall have them as a required feature? I am sure my mother could do much of what a bridal attendant does and I wouldn't have to tip her...
JLWSJC
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
Your Mom COULD do all that a bridal attendant does... but the halls offer the BA a part of your package and that way it lets all your guests be guests. Your mom is going to have hostess responsibilities to a degre and this way she's free to chat and mingle instead of fetching you food and drink and things like that.
Also, BA's tend to have experience, if something goes wrong withyour dress, they can fix or clean it, and they can act as your liason with the catering hall staff. I think it's totally worth the tip and then your mom can relax to a degree.
KerriJohnS
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
Posted by LegalDiva
Wow, that's kinda cool, I guess.. Not sure if I'd want someone to dote on me all day like that.
Can you do w/o one and request none from the catering hall? Does each catering hall have them as a required feature? I am sure my mother could do much of what a bridal attendant does and I wouldn't have to tip her...
They do A LOT of work that you mother might not be able to help with. Yes most if not all halls have an attendant to help you out the day of.
I would STRONGLY advice not ditching out on this. Do you REALLY want your mother to cater to your every single need and demand on the day of? Trust me.. there will be lots of guests to mingle with and things to get done. And the parents of the bride are also busy the day of.
I don't know how small or large your wedding is though. If it's smaller then it might be more feasible... but I've NEVER heard of anyone NOT wanting the attendant.
LegalDiva
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
Well my wedding will be tiny compared to other people on this board (50-60 guests). Unlike the bridezillas on TV, I'm pretty even-tempered and don't demand that drinks and food be handed to me on a silver platter. That would just make me uncomfortable. I would def mingle with my guests, and gladly get my own drinks and food/cake, but having another person standing next to me all day powdering my nose, picking up my dress train, and caving in to any of my whims or desires - would probably stress me out even more. I guess that stuff doesn't really faze me..
I will have to see - 2 bridal attendants sounds like a lot to juggle, and then tipping them at the end, as if I don't have enough tips to dole out by the end of the reception ! (ie maitre-d, DJ, florist, etc). Jesus, its no wonder brides turn into Bridezillas a few days before or on the big day!!
Something tells me though I won't have a choice anyway, I guess I'll just have them and see how it works out...
Mrs. Bernabe
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
my bridal attendant was great and I didn't even notice her...lol. Now looking back, she helped me with my dress, getting me drinks, taking my my flower from me before we started our dance. She was the one who let me know..okay we are cutting the cake..ok BQ toss...She was great..It seemed like she was my DOC at the hall!
Debrian2009
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
I personally wouldn't NOT have a bridal attendant. I want my bridal party, mom, etc. to have a good time and not have to worry about the little things the bridal attendant can do.
And if the place you pick offers 2, then ask them if you can only have 1 since it doesn't seem like you want one at all.
Then that will also save you on tipping 2 people...you will just tip 1.
LegalDiva
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
All good points noted, thank you ladies!
halfbaked
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
Posted by LegalDiva
Well my wedding will be tiny compared to other people on this board (50-60 guests). Unlike the bridezillas on TV, I'm pretty even-tempered and don't demand that drinks and food be handed to me on a silver platter. That would just make me uncomfortable. I would def mingle with my guests, and gladly get my own drinks and food/cake, but having another person standing next to me all day powdering my nose, picking up my dress train, and caving in to any of my whims or desires - would probably stress me out even more. I guess that stuff doesn't really faze me..
I will have to see - 2 bridal attendants sounds like a lot to juggle, and then tipping them at the end, as if I don't have enough tips to dole out by the end of the reception ! (ie maitre-d, DJ, florist, etc). Jesus, its no wonder brides turn into Bridezillas a few days before or on the big day!!
Something tells me though I won't have a choice anyway, I guess I'll just have them and see how it works out...
If you really feel that strongly, ask your RH if you can only use 1 attendant. That's more than enough. And trust me, they are not going to be shadowing through the reception. I would not expect my mother or BMs/MOH to do most of the stuff the attendant does simply because I want them to be guests and enjoy the party. The bridal attendants also do things that guests can't do, like stock the bridal suite with drinks and food. Most RH's do come with bridal suites. It's a place for the bride and groom to have some alone time, to get a snack in, to use the bathroom in peace (especially important if you have a big poofy dress!), etc.
FutureMrsG
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
The bridal attendant helps you with everything and anything that you may need on your wedding day. They make sure you stay on schedule-help with any dress issues including your bustle, they will hold your make up, my bridal attendant even reminded me to reapply my lipsick after eatting. You do not have to be demanding or have them 'wait on you hand and foot' but it is really helpful to have someone help you out on your day! They do get tipped but the amount is up to you usually $75-$150+
JLWSJC
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
Posted by LegalDiva
Well my wedding will be tiny compared to other people on this board (50-60 guests). Unlike the bridezillas on TV, I'm pretty even-tempered and don't demand that drinks and food be handed to me on a silver platter. Something tells me though I won't have a choice anyway, I guess I'll just have them and see how it works out...
I don't really think it's a Bridezilla thing... I think it's just something the RH's prvide for their brides' comfort and security, a safety net of sorts. And I'll point out again, the added benefit of having a staff member from the RH assigned just to you, a liason, in case you need to want anything, or your guests need something you can't personally provide, you can ask your BA to arrange it. You never know what might come up that you'll be thankful to have had an Attandant there for you.
I do agree that 2 BA's may not be necessary at a smaller, more intimate wedding, so like the other girls said, you can ask just for one.
KerriJohnS
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
That is a relatively a small wedding. I would go with just one attendant.
They also help with the schedule of things which is MAJOR. AND you don't notice them being there too much. It's not like they are shadowing you and wiping your derrier. It's not so much a pampering thing as much as a helping and organizing thing. My shower was about 60 or so and it was HECTIC!!
whtevjenny
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
I agree with the value of having one. I don't have one at our venue (or not an 'official' one) and I'm kinda sad about it. You are going to be mingling and talking so much that having someone who can help you out and grab you a drink every now and then or make sure your gifts go in the right place isn't such a bad thing, no?
CappyGirl
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
I will have two bridal attendants and I was wondering their purpose as well, however, the more I thought about it, it makes sense. My RH is HUGE and the bridal suite is pretty far from the actual ballroom, so it could be useful to have an extra person to help if I need something from there . . . just trying to imagine their usefulness, haha.
alli3131
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
yes you need them (well at least 1). THey are not there to powder your nose or wipe your A$$. The day is crazy.....you are being pulled in every direction and the BA will make sure you get a second to eat and make sure that you have everything you need. I never noticed my BA around me but yet she was always there. and she was definitely there when my bustle broke....was like a ninja out of nowhere with a case of pins fixing my dress.
She made my day go smooth.
rebekahlw164
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
I'm pretty sure I had one but I really couldn't tell you what she did. I think she was there when we were lining up for the ceremony. Other than that, my BP and mom took care of things like bustling my dress or holding my flowers during pics. During my reception, we shared a waiter with my bridal party but the banquet manager was usually there a minute before him to fill our drinks and see if we needed anything. The pour waiter never got to bring us anything. He also took my flowers and told us what to do and when. I guess every place works a little differently with these things. If there's not a manager there the whole time, I'd say keep one attendent. You may not think you need it, but you don't want to miss a minute of you day waiting for a drink, as little as that seems.
I Love Paolo
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
I thought the same thing, I got two as well. I said why the heck did I need two.. Well, they were WONDERFUL! One really was dedicted to my bridal party and one to me and DH. One of my bridal attendance was on the floor next to me in my bridal suite cleaning my dress, while I was eating and talking to me bridal party. They are so worth is and I was happy in the end I got two!
xosweetiexo
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Re: Purpose of a Bridal Attendant?
I had 2 bridal attendants and LOVED THEM!!! They never left my side...anything I needed, they got right away!!! It was awesome!
HSsweethearts
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I would definitely NOT skip the BA. Even if you are low key and don't want to be doted on, they help with everything from getting you food or helping if something goes wrong to making sure everyone is lined up properly for the entrances. If there iS a problem, they're uniquely qualified to solve it because they actually work for the hall and can check on things in the bridal suite, gardenm kitchen, whatever. they're coordinate with the DJ about when to do the cake cutting,etc. these are things your family would neither want to do, nor really know how to do. I can'rt imagne that the hall would LET you excess the BA
