**QOTD 3.9.13**

Happy Saturday ladies!! I hope you all have something great planned for today! I'm supposed to go register at BBB with FH but we may not have enough time because 12pm starts my moms HEAD SHAVING EVENT at Northport Napper Tandys! If you're in the area... come down and watch my mom and thousands of other people get shaved for kids with cancer!

Today's question has three parts to it. I had a discussion with my friend 'L'(yes the one who told me I 'took' December) and we were talking about the guest lists. I have a list of about 175 right now. She has a list of about 275. We have the same budget FYI. Anyway... she made a comment about how she's basically maxing out her budget on the venue and all the people but thats okay because she 'expects to make it all back, plus some more since we're inviting my 'rich' family'.


I was mildly appalled by this and the first words that came out of my mouth were 'Well, don't count on it'. I said it not to be rude but thats the truth. At my best friend's wedding she had A LOT of people who didn't give a gift (my other friend 'L' was one of them might I add) and from the married friends I've spoken with they said take your budget and divide it and thats how much you'll probably get. I feel like this shouldn't ever be a thing or amount you count on because thats rude. Also my mother always told to me to never bank on the money that you can't touch for yourself.

So anyway... here are the 3 parts of the question:

1. How big is your guest list?
2. Are there certain people on that list YOU KNOW will give you a larger gift?
3. Would you ever invite someone over someone else on the chance that you would get more of a gift from them?


1. Mine is around 175. I'd like to get it down to 150-160 before invites. Hopefully some of my friends will break up lol jk :)

2. I know that certain family members of mine will definitely give a 'generous' gift because on pretty much both sides of the family.. I'm the first to get married in a really long time. On my dad's side.. I'm the baby. On my mom's side I'm the oldest.

3. I would NEVER invite one person over another based on the gift that they MAY give. I am inviting people to the wedding that I WANT there. People that I NEED there. If I wanted to invite the more wealthy people in my life over the people that I NEED at my wedding... I'd be inviting all the doctors that I work for. Right now... my coworkers and the doctors I work for are on my 'B' list.

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. Our list is at 217 right now.

2. I think that there are some members of my family that may give more than the average amount.

3. I would never invite someone who I think would give more money because it isn't about the money, it is about sharing the day with the ones we care about.

I think that the money subject is so ridiculous. FH & I are paying for the bulk of our wedding and whatever we make, we make. It really doesn't matter to us. It is about having the wedding of our dreams and committing to one another. People get so hopped up on the $$$$ it negates the true meaning of the day, in my opinion.

**QOTD 3.9.13**

I couldn't agree with you more MrsPy!!! FH and I are also paying for the wedding ourselves and honestly... I couldn't care less of how much we 'make'. I feel like that makes me wedding a business transaction and its not.

Re: **QOTD 3.9.13**

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Posted by katielynn

I couldn't agree with you more MrsPy!!! FH and I are also paying for the wedding ourselves and honestly... I couldn't care less of how much we 'make'. I feel like that makes me wedding a business transaction and its not.

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Exactly!

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1) If Fh would give me an actual list of people he plans on inviting I would have an accurate count. But right now it's around 185.

2) I think everyone has someone who they know will give a little more. Fhs aunts definitely will and my aunts and uncles will also.

3) I would never invite someone over how much I think they would give me. I think that's rude.

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. We have about 250 for our guest list.
2. I know our parents and immediate families will give a larger gift. Tying into question 3, we wouldn't invite someone just for a gift. We're paying for over half of the wedding as well, so making money back isn't going to happen either way!

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. our list is about 135 people and we are just hoping to meet our 100 person minimum and stay as close to that as possible!

2. i really don't expect large gifts from people other than possibly my immediate family because they know we are paying for it ourselves but rather i DON'T expect gifts cards or anything from a bunch of people which is pretty sad lol!

3. the only way i come close to this is my mom wants a table of her friends there that she is willing to pay for because we are paying for everything else. i originally said no but then realized it's more gifts and bridal shower attendees so whatever! lol i'm over it

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. My guest list will probably be about 230, but were only expecting between 150-175 to actually come (a lot of family from out of state).

2. I truly believe that you invite people to celebrate with you, not to give you a gift. I know certain people (family, close friends) will give us larger gifts, but I will be grateful for anything people give.

3. I would rather have all my friends celebrate with me and give smaller gifts. That's more important to me

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. Our initial guest list puts us at 150, which is our minimum. However, we have not looked at the list together nor showed it to our parents yet. So at the end, we're looking at around 175-180.

2. There are a few people on our list that we know will giving more than the average wedding gift. However these guests could give us nothing and it wouldn't change a thing. They're invited because we want them there.

3. I couldn't even think about inviting someone based on the kind of gift they would be giving FH and I. That's just beyond rude. Our main goal is to have an amazing wedding, one that both our guests and us enjoy.

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. Our guest list is at 170 right now but I'm planning on keeping a B list so I keep it at exactly at our 140 minimum.

2. My sister got married 2 years ago so I know certain family members who gave a lot of money, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll get the same!

3. I just want my closest friends and family there to celebrate with us and enjoy themselves. Gifts are secondary in my mind! We're paying for this entirely by ourselves and I am definitely not expecting to break even, let alone make a profit.

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. How big is your guest list?

-We currently have 300+ I am hoping to have 225 max at the wedding.

2. Are there certain people on that list YOU KNOW will give you a larger gift?

-Aside from some immediate family, I cant think of anyone. Im not expecting thousands from these people just more then other guests.

3. Would you ever invite someone over someone else on the chance that you would get more of a gift from them?

-absolutely not

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. Our guest list right now is at 120 and I'd like to end up with an actual 120 in attendance, but I've been really stingy over who gets guests and who gets invited to keep it from going overboard so closer to the wedding this will be revisited!

2. Of course there are certain people who I know will but that isn't the reason they're invited.. It's like the family friend that always gives you a great birthday gift or someone who has money who has known you their whole lives... It's like at this point I know these select few will probably give a great gift but they would be in my list regardless.
A few people I have asked my parents 'hmm... So and so, will they actually come? Should I invite them?' And a couple answers have been 'they won't come but they will send a nice gift so send an invite' which may sound 'rude' but I know what they mean: it would be weird not to invite said person, it would be really nice if said person did come, but said person usually doesn't but they'll send s gift to show appreciation.

3. I would NEVER. The people coming are because they are friends or family, and the people not being invited are because they are not.


On a sort of side note, my sister got married almost two years ago on a low budget wedding (which was beautiful) and expected to 'make her money back' and was VERY surprised at a lot if the gifts she received (or lack thereof)... A lot of her husbands friends gave next to nothing (or nothing), a couple of her friends gifts got 'lost' (or never was given), and a couple of 'we'll-off' family friends that she was expecting large sums from gave the amount per plate and nothing more.

**QOTD 3.9.13**

1. Our guest list is at about 170 right now, but we are giving everyone over 18 a date and MANY of them are out of towners, so we really aren't counting on the not-so-close ones coming. We would like to meet our minimum of 125, maybe 130 would be nice :)

2. Hmm..there are certain people on the list that I expect to give larger gifts based on their professions (i.e. FH's aunt is a Doctor AND lawyer and currently works for the NFL) and lifestyle (she will frequently visit Paris on a whim). But, I am not betting on such guests giving these large gifts because I am asking many of them to take flights and book hotel rooms to attend my wedding. Also, I think some people have fixed standards for wedding gifts (pay for their plate, or say $100 a person), so if they have a set number in mind, it doesn't matter how much money they make.

3. No. I am planning this wedding as if no one is giving me anything. I am asking a lot of my guests who have to travel already, I will be really grateful for any gift at all.