Good morning ladies!I'm still in shock over what happened yesterday at Boston - so sad!
This is going to be a one or the other type question!
Are you the first one in your family or friends to get married? If not, how has that affected your wedding planning? If you are, do you think that's a good or a bad thing and why?
So my 2 older sisters are married. One was in a court (I wasn't there, really no one was though), and the other one got married over 10 years ago (maybe 15?). So those weddings have not affected what I wanted to do for my wedding. However, I'm the 3rd on in my group of friends to get married. One is already married, and the other one is getting married in January (yey for 2014 brides!!). I love them both dearly, but boy has it impacted my wedding decisions. I specifically didn't go looking at either one of their venues, or use their color combinations (or their main color). I'm also trying my hardest to make my wedding different from there's - I don't anyone comparing their wedding to mine, or vise versa for that matter. Now I don't think any of my friends would have had a problem if I used the same hall or colors as them - this is ME having a problem with that :)
As much as it has made planning a bit more challenging, I think I got the better end of the deal! I learned so much about weddings by being in someone's wedding. I learned what I did and did not want happening - all this from a BMs point of view!
LadyReeRee
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
My brother and sister were both married over 10 years ago. Actually my sisters anniversary date is exactly 15 years and 6 months before our wedding date! Crazy! She's been a huge help with my wedding planning as she knows what I will need to spend $$$ on and what is a complete waste.
As far as my friends - out of the 5 that I'm closest to, I'm the third getting married (right in the middle). Two of my friends are married with kids, and my other two are just in very serious relationships. But I can't wait for them to get married so I can help them plan.
ladygoodman
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
Two of my oldest brothers are married. One of them was in city hall. The other one I was maid of honor and basically planned their wedding but it was totally different than mine since they had a child and a super small budget. I have a couple of married cousins as well but those were also very different weddings than mine.
I have one friend who is single. My friends that are married have been married for years. So all the wedding experience has helped with the planning process. Especially since I have plenty of people who can give me advice.
luckyerialc
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
FH and I are both the first in our families to get married! I have two older brothers but they definitely will not be tying the knot anytime soon. FH has one older brother and two younger siblings, and they are all single.
I think it's good AND bad. Everyone is super excited about the first wedding and wants to help out. This means lots of opinions flying around - which can be good (and bad) at times!!
Soon2BeMrsMango
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
I am of the first of my friends to get married. All of my friends have been very excited for me and are so interested in our planning so its nice.
I am the first one on my mothers side to be getting married. We really aren't that close with them but my 93 year old Grandpa is always asking questions and doesn't understand why we are waiting so long. (He doesnt get a year and a half engagement isnt that long. He also thinks the price of a wedding is less then $5,000 haha)
On my father's side I am the second one to get married. My cousin was married in Sept 2012. Everyone on that side is super excited and really into the planning details. Its very nice.
On FH's side he is not the first but everyone still seems excited, especially my FSIL!
I like being of the first because everyone is really excited for us.
I'm the last in my family to get married (literally, aside from second cousins). Out of friends, we're the last to get married in his circle and one of the first in mine. I like being kind of in the middle because I'm able to talk to people who have gotten married recently for ideas and advice on how to do things.
kadymry
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
My only sibling is my sister who is just over a year older than me. My sister got engaged a month before I did but she and her fiance are getting married after us. my FH and I feel a little nervous sometimes that getting married 6 months apart will create a lot of comparing (esp. since their budget is a little bigger than ours) My FH is the oldest of 5 so his family is super excited since we are the first to get married. I think my parents are concerned this can turn competitive for my sister and I - and I can't lie, I do think about it. I just keep reminding myself that the day is about my FH and I and that we want people to see that and have a lot of fun celebrating with us.
bridejackson22
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
We are the last of our siblings to get married my sister got married 6 years ago his sister almost 20? I think she is 8 or 9 years older then him and was married at like 20. My sister has been okay she is excited for me but because she planned a wedding 6 years ago she thinks she knows everything still. She also keeps telling me no one will get certain things off my registry or how to cut costs which would end up making my wedding look tacky. I just sort of yes her to death when she does that.
Out of friends we are in the middle we have a hand full each that are already married and then the rest are single. My friends are supportive and the ones that are already married have had helpful tips my single ones just keep telling me I have so much time but they never planned a wedding and it's something you don't procrastinate about or you lose out on vendors and better pricing.
NIKOLE
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
I am the first one of my side of the family except for my cousin. And I'm my 3rd close friend. BUT I am not longer friends with one of them and the other is my BFF. We have completely different tastes in weddings so there's basically no room fro crossovers!!
FH had his cousin get married a few years back and his other cousin is getting married this August. It' funny, it took FOREVER for FH to propose, I honeslty didn't think ti was going to happen. Then his cousin who was dating his gF for literally ONE WEEK more than we were dating proposed and I knew he'd follow suit! It's fun to be able to talk wedding planning with his fiance!!
cets1290
Posted:
Member since
Re: ~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
Posted by ASemderWedding
Good morning ladies!I'm still in shock over what happened yesterday at Boston - so sad!
This is going to be a one or the other type question!
Are you the first one in your family or friends to get married? If not, how has that affected your wedding planning? If you are, do you think that's a good or a bad thing and why?
So my 2 older sisters are married. One was in a court (I wasn't there, really no one was though), and the other one got married over 10 years ago (maybe 15?). So those weddings have not affected what I wanted to do for my wedding. However, I'm the 3rd on in my group of friends to get married. One is already married, and the other one is getting married in January (yey for 2014 brides!!). I love them both dearly, but boy has it impacted my wedding decisions. I specifically didn't go looking at either one of their venues, or use their color combinations (or their main color). I'm also trying my hardest to make my wedding different from there's - I don't anyone comparing their wedding to mine, or vise versa for that matter. Now I don't think any of my friends would have had a problem if I used the same hall or colors as them - this is ME having a problem with that :)
As much as it has made planning a bit more challenging, I think I got the better end of the deal! I learned so much about weddings by being in someone's wedding. I learned what I did and did not want happening - all this from a BMs point of view!
I am the first of my friends to get married (I'm 22, almost 23 so my friends and I are pretty young!), but not the first of my FH's friends or family (He's 26). It is really exciting for all of my friends, because alot of them have only been to a few weddings before and are really excited for me :) and it's good to have alot of my FH's friend's wives to talk to and get ideas from them since they got married in the last 2 years.
Now the negative haha: 3 of my friends are in the bridal party, and have NO idea how it all works. They didn't know that hair/makeup/dresses were so expensive, that they are supposed to get ready at my house all together in the morning, that we take pics after the ceremony before the reception starts, and didn't know about bridal shower duties or how the rehearsal works hahaha... Luckily, my older sister is a pro at it since being in all of her friends bridal parties and planning her own wedding last year, so she will be able to help them out with bridal shower/bachelorette stuff. Also, a few of my friends are also dating older guys, so I'm anticipating a few of them to get engaged in the next year or two, so by then all of my friends should know how this whole process works! lol
cconaty94
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
Ok so I am both depending on what group you are talking about. In my family, my sister got married in 09, so they have helped an incredible amount! My FH is the oldest in his family, so in that world we are first and boy can you tell the difference! His family is very shocked by today's prices and has some old standards. They are trying to be helpful and involved but they just seem so far removed. Out of my friends, yes I am the first. I am young so this means that a lot of them don't have any idea what wedding planning is like. They don't really know the right questions to ask or understand where we are in the planning process. I feel alone a lot because of this, they just don't seem to be on the same page. That's ok though! I have my family, FH, and LIW!
Soon2BeMrsPy
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
My older sister got married 6 years ago. My cousin got married in June and my other cousin is getting married in October. It hasn't really affected my wedding because my taste is much different than my cousins so I don't feel like there is any threat to my plans plus it is fun experiencing this with them!
sgf2
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
I'm the first of my immediate family to get married, but not the first of all my cousins. It's a good thing, because they can help me with advice. We are also all so different that I am not worried about copying or jealousy.
Out of my friends, I have 2 groups. In the first group, I am the 2nd friend to get married, and there is a LOT of jealousy that I saw even with the first friend when she got married. It's very sad and upsetting that friends can't be happy for their friend getting married. I just deal with it by not paying attention to it.
In my other group of friends, I was the first to get engaged, but one of my best friends just got engaged a few weeks ago, and she's planning on getting married in 2014 also!! That is possibly the most exciting thing ever, because we get to go through this together. We're also hoping that a third of our friends will get engaged soon, and then all three of us can plan our weddings together.
mmordocco
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
My best friend (YKW!) and cousin are both married and I was in both their weddings. I don't think it's affected me too much other than showing me what it means to be a BM, what reasonable expectations of a BM are and how much a BM should (or shouldn't!) spend.
Well... On my moms side of the family... I'm the one of the first of my cousins/my generation to get married! I'm also pretty much the only girl (the next girl under me is like... 13). The only one who got married before me was my cousin Robert and he's in his early/mid 30s.
On my dad's side... I'm the last one but thats because I'm the baby on that side... by like... 14 years. The only one younger than me is my cousin Jake and he's only 12.
With my friends... its weird. I'm pretty much in the middle of BOTH groups of my friends. But my 'core' group of girls... I'm the 2nd to get engaged and I'll be the 3rd to get married since my one friend who got engaged after me is looking at a wedding in November since I 'took' december (yes. I'm still mildly bitter about what she said lol)
I've been in and around weddings since I was a little girl. I feel pretty good about my wedding knowledge and certain weddings I've been in/around have definitely taught me what to do and what NOT to do!
Simonenarissa
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
My sister got married two years ago this September and believe it or not she's actually gotten UPSET that I haven't planned more things to be exactly like hers.. Which is weird, because I planned her entire wedding. And I planned her entire wedding based on her taste, not mine.. We have very different taste.
As far as my friends go, I'm the first in my very very very best friends to get married. I do have a close friend who's getting married this June and I'm in her BP, but she's not in my 'group' of friends. We have different taste so there's no worries about 'copying' but I'm excited to go to take mental notes such as: the song she chooses to walk down the aisle.. Is it too up tempo? And things like that. Little things that happen at most weddings that I can't remember because I haven't been to enough that I will be able to be paying attention for now. Ill also be attending FHs cousins wedding in October, but its his male cousin so I doubt there will be any hard feelings there in any way.
RoandJoe
Posted:
Member since
~~~**QOTD 4/16/13**~~~
Well, in my 'generation' of the family, I'm the second to get married. Unfortunately he first marriage of one of my cousins ended in a divorce. Also, one of my best friends just got married this past November. I've been getting tons of advice from my friend and she ALWAYS calms my nerves when I get excited. She's the reason I booked everything so early! Her best piece of advice was to book what I can as early as I can!
