Today's QOTD has to do with compromise. I went to a bridal shower last weekend and everyone there had to write down tips to a happy marriage, and someone wrote down 'Compromise, Compromise and more Compromise'. So I was thinking, how do you and FH compromise on things, whether it be wedding related on NWR?
For wedding related things, FH and I have been compromising on the overall style, he wants a free flowing wedding, no seated dinner and for that matter no assigned tables, and I wanted to have a seated dinner. So we are compromising by having a mansion style affair (not seated dinner) but we will have assigned seating.
As for every day compromises, we have to compromise a lot with the food we eat. I love pasta, he hates it. And I am VERY picky and he eats just about everything. So we have had to find things that we both like to eat so that we don't fight! Also, we have to compromise a ton with the household chores because we would fight the most about this. We spring for a housekeeper every other week just so we don’t have to mop floors and clean toilets ever. But for laundry, garbage take out and dishes, we pretty much try to split it up so that I always do laundry, he always takes garbage out and we both alternate with the dishes.
So what are your compromises that you have to make with FH?
depoc1011
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
hmmmm, lets see....
For the wedding: I think I care about certain things more than he does, and maybe he want things more simple, so I guess there is where he is compromising. Although he has been so great with everything so i don't know if he compromises that much with the wedding stuff,
For everyday: well, we do not live together yet, so we do not have the 'chore' stuff yet. But we are very different and enjoy different activtives and people for that matter; so we take turns in that dept, and therefore compromise.
MrsSoto
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
Well, not so much now but I remember in the first year of our relationship we had to alot. We have very different personalities so it was hard getting used to each other and i feel like we both had to compromise to adjust to each other, if this makes sense. Um, do we compromise now, lol??...i guess i try to just let things be when its not worth a fight and other things, it IS worth a fight but i cant think of anything else now, lol. Wedding wise, we are pretty much on the same page about everything, luckily!!
soontobecruz
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
We compromise on a lit of things... for one, he sadly isn't working right now. He has been cleared to work since his car accident but he was in construction and there is no work to be had. So while I am the one at work everyday he is handling a lot of the household stuff. Which is super nice bc we live with my mom and she appreciates it too.
He eats like a pig, and sooo unhealthy and I give in once in a while, but for the times I am strong and don't he is usually ok with grilled chicken and healthier stuff. Even though he really hates it.
The wedding stuff, I am trying not to take it personal that he isn't as involved as I sometimes wish he was. I mean I know he doesn't care about the florists so he agrees to go to 1 apointment while I go to 5. It all works out in the end, but still frustrating sometimes.
regy_k
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
wedding: we didn't comprise on anything. we are both pretty much on the same page. we have very similar style and ideas of what we think will make a great wedding. thank God!!!!
life: house chores we try to divide but a lot of time FH ends up doing most of the cleaning and always does the dishes. my job is to take care of the laundry and make sure that the closets are organized (kinda been slipping on this one and just give the laundry to a laundromat - FH is not happy about that). we compromise on where to go, who to see. if FH isn't up to socializing, we don't. if I want to go somewhere and its really important to me he will definitely come, and vise versa.
Lsorrent
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
Wedding - not too much compromise going on there. He's pretty much letting me have whatever I want But I did have to cave in to letting him have his stupid Incredible Hulk ice sculpture
Life in general - Well we pretty much split the chores. One cooks, the other does dishes. I'm usually the one doing the cooking, and I've had to sacrifice many of my favorite foods (might be in my best interest). Like Kristen, I LOVE pasta, he HATES it. So I usually only make it now if I know he's not going to be home for dinner. Or I'll order it when we go out. He's pretty good about eating whatever I cook, as long as I don't cook things I know he hates. But he's also really good about trying things. So my rule is, when I make a new recipe, he has to taste it. If he doesn't like it, we'll order pizza. But he HAS to taste it. This seems to work well for us.
I gather all the garbage, he takes it out. He (often) does laundry, I fold it and put it away. We've been living together for 2 1/2 years now, so that's basically all taken care of. But usually if it's something serious, we'll sit down and discuss pros and cons for each side and make a decision based on that.
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
For the most part we do, but it requires some work. You take each situation as it arises and deal wirth it accordingly.
Mrs Z To Be
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
Hmmm. Good Question!!
Fh is an Aries, me a Taurus. That spells: STUBBORN on both ends
HOwever, I think we do pretty well with compromise.
I must admit, I think FH compromises A LOT more than I do to keep me happy.
He really is a great person. My father always says that he is going to sprout wings soon!
We don't disagree on that much stuff so there's nothing we really compromise - I guess it would be food choices but thats nothing really
Clover23
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
Wedding: absolutely nothing. we're both on the same page. If anything, we've had to compromise with my parents! (Like, okay dad you can invite some people you work with but not your entire company)
Life: Social events, chores, SPENDING MONEY (he's terrible with money)
stinenandy2010
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
We compromise on almost everything. We have very different personalities. As for wedding related, this is the one area that I don't compromise on and FH is ok with that. He knows this is my dream. Right now most of the things we compromise on are house renovations. This house is the money pit!
mbscheer
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
I have to compromise on cleaning... I like everything in its place and he could care less. So I take a few deep breaths and put things in their place!
cateydee
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
we mostly compromise on cleaning and planning social events. i usually tell him what to clean and he does it as long as im doing something too. lol
cateydee
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
oh and as for the wedding he is giving up his free summer (hes a teacher) to work to save $$$$$ for the wedding!
beebs341
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
We have to compromise on our decorating style and where we want to live. He's very modern and I'm very vintage.
NanandEric08
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
Hmm, compromise on the wedding would have to be that FH wanted an outdoor, beach wedding, no halls. Me being a crazy planner was totally against it because of weather, and the cost ended up being more than a RH. So we compromised and looked at venues on the water, with an outside and he got his raw bar.
Outside of the wedding, we are compromising on our living situation. Currently, I am commuting 2 hours a day because he loves where we live and doesnt want to sell the house. Once we are married, we will move to a place that's best for both of us. We also compromise on cleaning and chores.
deanna225
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
for the wedding i compromised on the v-hour. i didn't want it and him and his mom did. so i let him have it. on life its been money. he is spending money like crazy on stuff we don't need. so he compromised on giving me his paychecks and i will spend the money on the things we need and thats the wedding.
MikesBride2B
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
We compromise quite often, but now that I think about it I'm honestly not sure how we go about it. We really just have mostly calm discussions about things and then it just gets resolved. I think it helps that FH really just wants me to be happy and I really just want him to be happy so we kind of maneuver ourselves into a place where we are both happy.
I wish I knew how we did it but I have no clue haha
JAAMS
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
Hmmm I think the one thing that we compromised with regarding the wedding was the church. FH wanted a church ceremony; I would've had one; however, I am not religious and would've been OK with a more secular ceremony.
SO, we're getting married at the RH, but we're going to TRY and find a Catholic priest who will do it. But if not, we're going to find a Christian minister and have a Christian based ceremony.
One of the MAIN reasons we're having it at the RH is because we're having it in CT and the RH is SO easy to get to that we don't want to complicate everything by having all the guests fly all over CT.
If that wouldn't have happened, I think I probably would've just ****** it up and had it in a church.
GR2010
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Re: *~QOTD 5/15/2009~*
We're compromising with some things on the wedding... I really loved the Vanderbilt in Oakdale but he thought it reminded him of his college dorm (his college dorm was a converted mansion) and smelled like old books... so we kept looking but luckily found something Ioved even more. We also compromised with the day of the week. I wanted 10/10/10 which is a Sunday but being that he had a lot of out of town guests (well all of them actually) I changed the date to a Saturday to make it easier for them. I guess it also helped or RH wanted more for 10/10/10 than they did for a Saturday! :) He's also very good with money and I just like to spend so whenever we pick a vendor we really go through what they are offering and he makes me list what is non negotiable. So with our photog we added an engagement shoot but decided to DIY on the parent albums.
Day to day we negotiate on small stuff... we agree on most things so it's not so bad...
