Brides Helping Brides ™ - ~~~***~~~~Q*O*T*D~~~~~***~~~

FutureLW Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:42 AM

~***QOT*D~***~

First off, thanks so much to Haroula for handing over the BOTW title to me!! I hope I can do just of an amazing job as you did! I’m super excited for this!!

Ok, so for my first QOTD….

How often do you and FH do things independently, without each other? How do you feel when you are apart from each other doing your own thing?

This weekend FH went to Virginia for NASCAR as a birthday gift to his dad from him and his two brothers. It was our first time being away from each other for a night since we moved in together in May. I kept myself busy seeing a florist for the wedding and catching up with my MOH, but it made me realize that FH and I don’t really do much too often without each other and it was weird not coming home to him! Of course I’ll go out to dinner with girl friends at least once a week but we never go a night without seeing each other anymore. I truly missed him! I do believe that it’s very important to be able to do things independently and be ok with it, but it made me feel really good about our relationship that even though we live together and see each other every day and do almost everything together, I still missed him for that one night. I was so excited to see him when he got home last night! I guess it is true when they say that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”

Jna2010 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:44 AM

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its seriously only been like that past year that we detached from the hip lol, its great, it gives us a chance to miss eac other, and then we usually comes back with great stories from the night before

i feel like you HAVE to spend sometime with just friends

StaceyWill Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:44 AM

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Congrats on BOTW!!!!

Me and FH really don't do too much without eachother. I mean occasionally, I'll go to dinner with one of my gf's and he'll go paintballing, but for the most part-we're pretty much attached at the hip

Soon2bShea Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:45 AM

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FH and I do things separate all the time. For one thing, I fly to LI once a month (usually alone) so we often have a few days without eachother. I think its healthy to be separate sometimes. I look forward to going OOT or him going OOT for some alone time sometimes. Thats probably mean lol

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:47 AM

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We don't live together, so most of our day-to-day things are done separately. On the weekends we're usually together from Friday night - Sunday night, but if there's something that either of us wants to do and it's either just a girls thing or a guys thing, or the other one just isn't interested in going, then we go it alone.

I've always been super independant and actually like to spend time alone. I've travelled alone. Sometimes there might be an exhibit in the city or I'll get free tickets to a Broadway show through my job and if FH isn't into it, then I'll either go with a friend or go alone. Likewise, if he wants to do car stuff and I'm just not feeling like going to a car show, he'll go with a friend or alone.

I think it's healthy to do things separately and to have a few different interests and hobbies.

Bride825 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:50 AM

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its funny because now that we live together we dont make plans to see each other like we used to so we barely see each other....but its good because I have more time for my friends

Lsorrent Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:52 AM

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Very rarely do we do things without each other, but every once in a while I'll have a girls day and he'll have a guys night. For instance yesterday I spent the day in the city with my mom and one of my sisters. And every now and then I'll tell him to go out so I can have my girls over for a chick flick
And about two weeks ago I had a girls night out to dinner with some friends....FH went and hung out with his brother that night.

ETA: I always know if there's something 'girly' I want to do, not to bother asking him, i.e. the LIW bridal show, hehe.

AngnShaun Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:53 AM

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we live together so we spend a lot of time together... on the weekends sometimes he we will hang out with different people... we usually text each other a lot when that happens tho...

for a few years now ive been visiting my sister for Thanksgiving and he hasnt come... sometimes thats hard being gone for a few days without seeing each other...

AdriandSteve Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:55 AM

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We don't live together so I only see FH on Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun nights. Sometimes on sat nights if i'm not working.

We do a lot of things together but not everything. He goes to Croxley's sunday brunch with the guys and i'll go out to dinner with the girls here and there. When i'm working on the weekend he does what he wants lol.

GiannisWifey Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:56 AM

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Lara, enjoy the week and you are most welcome hunny!!!

FH and I don't live together, we actually live about 35 minutes away from each other. We usually see each other 3-4 times a week, so the other days we have time to ourselves or to hang out with friends. On the weekends, we try to spend all our time together as much as we can since we don't have the luxury of living together and seeing each other everyday. I usually always catch dinner once or twice a week with my friends and hang out with my family the other nights.

I personally think that not living together and not seeing each other everyday makes us miss each other so much more and appreciate the time that we do have together. It really gives us something to look foward to when we get married and we will appreciate it that much more since we had the 'distance' sort of thing in between us.....

FH does things with his friends and so do I, both alone and as couples. Guys/girls nights don't bother us, as long as we don't go more than like 2 or 3 days without seeing each other....

I believe that having SOME time apart is actually healthy and needed!

aw, I actually miss him already!

regy_k Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:56 AM

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I hate doing things apart. I have the most fun when we do things together. I just miss him sooo much. when he was in Vegas working for 6 days I was just so down and didnt want to do things on my own.
I know its very good to be able to do things apart, but I just dont want to. I love the way we are. I am getting married to be together with someone, and share all with that one person - I had enough of independence

MarjorieFrank Posted: Sep 14, 2009 10:56 AM

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FH and I don't live together, so we try to spend a few nights during the week by ourselves doing our own thing. FH likes to go out and experience the outdoors and I stay on my couch in front of the television
FH doesn't have many friends, but I hang out with my friends a few times a month without FH.

I like having my own time away from him, and he appreciates the free time as well. We don't like to do the same things all the time, so it works out. When I go out on the town I like to have FH with me to keep me company, but when it's girls only it is a lot of fun! My friends and I try to alterate our get-togethers... sometimes the boys will be invited and sometimes not.

christine2010 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 11:01 AM

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we constantly do things separate from each other. he will go on vacation with his friends & another time i will go on vacation with my family. FH goes over a friends house at least 2 nights a week. which is great because it gives me time to relax at home by myself. & i spend a couple of hours every Saturday at my brothers, visiting my nieces & nephew.

most people find it strange that we do so much stuff apart from each other but we think its great. even though we are getting married we still feel that we are two independent people. we both have our likes & dislikes & we both enjoy doing our own things.

in the recent year being on vacation separately has become really hard. for instance when FH was in Canada in August for 7 days, he would call me because he was up before his friends & had no one to talk to. we really missed each other like crazy & it was after that, that we both decided we most likely wont be doing separate vacations (more then 3 days) anymore. FH likes to go to comic conventions with his friends regularly (at least 2 times a year), so for know on i will be going with him, & when they go to the actual convention i am going to find something else to do.

MikesBride2B Posted: Sep 14, 2009 11:05 AM

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We do a decent amount apart. At the moment its mostly me going out without him, but he has some things starting up soon where he'll go out without me. I go out to be with my friends and of course I go to school which I do alone...he's joining the Masons (hemanwomanhatersclub ) so he'll be doing that alone.

Its nice to live together because you know at the end of the day you get to come home to each other

ETA: Even though I like doing things alone I miss FH whenever we are not together...even when we're both at work I feel sad and I want the day to be over so we can be together

MrsC2010 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 11:05 AM

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we have always done stuff independently. we started dating in college and all through college we did a lot with our own friends. Every weekend, I would go out with my friends and FH would go out with his and then we'd end up just meeting up later in the night. Since we have lived together, we do tend to go out together more often but still have times when i go out without him or vice versa.

i think its healthy in a relationship to have some time apart and do your own thing.

Clover23 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 11:21 AM

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We do a lot of stuff independently, from little things like working out to big things like vacations (usually once a year he'll travel to notre dame for a football game and i will go on a spa weekend). Also he goes fishing a lot and 99% of the time I don't go with him. He's in a lacrosse league too. Many times, if he's out doing something and I'm not working, I choose to spend that time by myself instead of going out and doing something. With the way both of us are, if we did everything together we'd probably kill each other!

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 11:31 AM

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All the time...there's me time, his time and our time...we do a very good job of balancing our independence with doing things with each other.

We are not dependent types of people; we both treasure our alone time.

DaniandKen2010 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 11:53 AM

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Lately all of the time. I work my ft and pt job and he works ft and goes to school pt so we try to at least hang out on Sun. And when we are both off its us time all of the way.

marinai7 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 11:59 AM

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We do things separately sometimes. He goes away with his guy friends for 'man weekend' ever year. We live together so we see each other everyday and I love that part. We're usually so busy during the week to go out so on the weekend we like to spend time together with our friends. I go out to dinner with the girls once in a while and stuff like that.

SummerBride10 Posted: Sep 14, 2009 12:34 PM

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We live 45 minutes apart...so we do everything independent, especially during the week. We see each other maybe once a week and then all weekend. I miss him alot, but it makes me appreciate the time we do get together.