QOTD ~~~~~~~~~6/4/09

soontobemrsag Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:09 AM

QOTD ~~~~~~~~~6/4/09

Todays question is if you have a BM in your bridal party who is just not supportive , doesnt ask how the wedding plans are going just seems uninterested what do you or have you done?

I do have 1 like that & i just stopped calling her as harsh as that sounds - we couldnt make plans & i was tired of excuses.

StaceyWill Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:13 AM

Re: QOTD ~~~~~~~~~6/4/09

I'm having a very small BP- just my sister (MOH) and my best friend (BM), so I have not had any problems...

asg450 Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:15 AM

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I have one of those. When I first got engaged she didn't seem happy at all and when I asked her to be a BM she didn't even respond the the newsletter. I asked them all via a Bridesmaid newsletter and then I sent another newsletter out and all she could say was 'nice idea on the newsletter.' Didn't have anything to say about the wedding details that concerned her.

Took her to get my dress, on her phone texting the entire time.

I just distanced myself from her and then all of a sudden she slowly started asking how's the planning coming along. She doesn't ask about details, she just always ask 'how's the planning'. But I just tell her it's find and that's it.

I think she's just upset she's not the one getting married and she probably got sick of me talking about marriage before I was engaged; so I don't want to bore her with my plans.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:17 AM

Re: QOTD ~~~~~~~~~6/4/09

I'm having a small BP - just my sister as my MOH and my best friend of 20+ years as my BM; they are both people who I can trust entirely, they know each other well (so communication between the two will be a-okay) and they both know my personality to a T. I don't see either of them disappointing me.

I considered adding another friend, but she's too much of a flake. Oh well!

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:17 AM

Re: QOTD ~~~~~~~~~6/4/09

most of my BMs are all over the place and it hard to keep in touch.

But they have lives and they do not revolve around my wedding.

I would never, ever end a friendship over someone not calling me about my wedding. They will be there when it matters, they are always there when I need them, so who cares?

Dean Bean Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:21 AM

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I definitely don't have this problem. I think if someone seemed completely distant about my wedding, then I probably wouldn't have them in my BP. I'm having two family members, and my 3 best friends, who are all so completely excited for me, and want to know everything. The way it should be!

Sandradv121 Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:24 AM

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Nah, I just have a couple who are a bit on the whiny side when it comes to dresses. But my girls are great. Esp. my maid of honor/sister. She may not do much (b/c i don't really ask her for much) but she is always there with brillant artsy ideas!

JAAMS Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:27 AM

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I haven't really gotten to a point where I NEED help yet or anything. One of my MOHs & one of my BMs came to look at a couple of RHs w/ FH & I though, which I was really happy about it. However, when I do need 'more help', I'm not expecting them to drop their lives and come flocking to my side. They're all great girls, and I know they want to be involved, but all I am 'demanding' is that they stand up with me at the ceremony that day.

Lsorrent Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:31 AM

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My BM's are all pretty supportive. But I had one friend who I was going to ask to be a BM that just did not seem interested at all. After I got engaged, we were supposed to meet up in the city with another friend (another BM) for drinks. She cancelled on us. Then she couldn't make it to my e-party. She hasn't really asked at all about the wedding plans. So I've decided not to ask her to be a BM. She'll still be invited to the shower, b-party, and wedding, but I just don't want to take chances on her being an unreliable BM.

stinenandy2010 Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:37 AM

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All of my BM are supportive, I love them all!!

angel1219eyez Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:39 AM

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i have a BM like that...long story short i didnt want to put her in my party in the first place but kinda had to and she not once has asked me about how my planning is going and is always talkin bout her problems and all that good stuff...but i really could care less bc i didnt want to put her in there the first place lol

Jna2010 Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:41 AM

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thats like all 7 girls of my bp, with the exception of 1.... love it lol

T E R I Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:42 AM

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I don't have that big of BP and its all family members, so they are all supportive of everything

iquel Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:43 AM

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I actually have one of those, I am not to close but I decided to add her because of FH. But she has been a really big pain. She is very distant and has not been supportive at all. Every time I speak to her about the wedding she ask how much is that and then would say your crazy to much money. Umm like HELLOO we are paying.

When I told her about the pricing for hair and makeup she almost flipped. She's like OMG you can go to a salon and get it done for less. I responded well all the other girls don't have a problem with it so if you would like go to the salon GO AHEAD. I want professionals, I want everyone to look perfect. Then she said no I'll do it I want to look HOTT She is just giving me problems. If it continues this way I will just tell her sorry your not part of my BP. I don't need additional stress. She is one of those that I have to continue reminding her remember is this date. It seems as if she is not interested.

MarjorieFrank Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:45 AM

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I have a problem with one of my BMs. I asked her to be one, and then immediately she started acting like a b!tch to me. We have been friends since kindergarden and she has always been this way... a little fake, a lot selfish, and talks to you whenever it's convenient for her. We have always been on and off like a relationship haha. I thought our relationship was going good because in the months preceding and immediately following my engagement she was all happy for me and gung-ho but then I realized that she was only being that way to rub it in the face of one of our mutual friend's that she hates. She started being really mean to be about what I expected the BMs to do and finally, wrote this really nasty and heartbreaking email to me that made me cry and be depressed for two days straight. I haven't talked to her since, and she hasn't reached out. In my mind she is already out of the BP, but I haven't officially told her yet.

mariedsgn Posted: Jun 04, 2009 10:56 AM

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No problems here All my girls are so good! I love them!

But I understand that My bridesmaids and groomsmen are all over the place, and they have lives. I feel like you can't ask people to stop their lives to be in your wedding!!!!!!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE talking about the wedding and planning but I also LOVE when I can have conversations with my friends that does not involve the wedding.

SummerBride10 Posted: Jun 04, 2009 11:22 AM

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mine are all super supportive and FABULOUS!

jlt2010 Posted: Jun 04, 2009 11:34 AM

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it's funny cuz my MOH is like that. it's not that she's not supportive, but she's just not girly girl like I am so it's kinda like talking to a guy about it. She'll just nod and agree. But I've known her for so long that I know it's not just about the wedding but that's just her personality. so i just accepted it and talk about the wedding stuff to my other BM.

soontobecruz Posted: Jun 04, 2009 11:48 AM

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

most of my BMs are all over the place and it hard to keep in touch.

But they have lives and they do not revolve around my wedding.

I would never, ever end a friendship over someone not calling me about my wedding. They will be there when it matters, they are always there when I need them, so who cares?

Ditto!

Fortunatly I havn't had this problem, and I don't take it personally when we chat for a while and my wedding doesn't come up.