SO sorry about yesterday ladies!!! Thought I would have time between the million things I had to do yesterday, but looks like I should have done it first thing in the morning. Learned my lesson... so here goes!!
I have learned a tremendous amount from my parents about what it takes to keep a good marriage going. FH constantly talks about his parents wonderful marriage and often tells me, 'I hope in 40 years we make each other laugh like they do' I know we are very lucky to each have our parents marriage last, but it has truly shaped a lot of what we think about love, life and the future....
SO.... today's questions is:
What have you learned from your parents marriage that you will bring with you OR leave out of your own marriage??
The biggest thing that I can think of will probably sound small and maybe kind of silly, but my parents STILL hold hands… everywhere. When I was younger I remember being embarrassed by it… none of my other friends parents were showing ANY love or connection in front of us, why did mine have to?? Looking back, I am so appreciative of this small act because it showed me that they still love each other just as much now as they did before having children! Looking at FH's parents, they are EXACTLY the same way as mine. They are all constantly kissing around the house, laughing with each other, they have corny pet names for each other and I love it. I can only pray that FH and I are that happy 40 years from now... I truly hope we keep holding hands, cuddling, kissing and probably one day embarrassing the **** out of our own children. hahaha
jenandivan
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My parents' marriage wasn't perfect. And I'd rather not learn anything from theirs.
I was married before, and I learned a lot from that first one. I was 21 and pregnant when I got strong-armed into getting married. That's a learning experience in and of itself.
But what I would take away from it would be to consider my husband's feelings, and learn to share the good times and bad. We were both young and immature, and somehow we lasted 10 years.
This time, it's all about FH. I don't discredit my own feelings and wants and needs, but he's a big priority in my life, and I will do anything I possibly can to make him happy and content.
My parents aren't together anymore and FH's parents are basically just roommates at this point.
From my parents I learned that communication is KEY. All my parents did for the 13 years I was around before they split up was yell and scream. Blowdryers would get thrown. Name calling... the whole nine yards. I will leave the lying and cheating (obviously) out of my marriage unlike my parents and I will always trust him with 10000000%. There will be no secrets with us. No hiding things.
And if all else fails... we'll know when to call it quits if it DOESNT work out... unlike his parents.
.... Futuremap... my goal is to be like your parents! FH and I are super affectionate (I'm sure people in public hate us every now and then) but We are SO super affectionate! We hold hands and even when we're just on the couch he is always sure to touch me... like rub my leg or arm or something. So I hope that I'm just like your parents and ALSO embarrass my kids!
cets1290
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
my parents got married when my mom was 19 and my dad was 25. my mom was married in august and had my sister the following july. A year later she had my other sister. She then took a break for about 5 years and then had me and my brother. They said that the only thing they would have changed in their marriage is that they would have waited longer to have kids because between the older two kids and my brother and i, my mom went to college to become a nurse and said it was extremely difficult to juggle two kids and school. So for my marriage, I would prefer to wait 4-5 years before having kids so that we can further establish our careers first
meejack1110
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 7-23
If I learned anything from my Parent's Marriage it would be DON'T GET MARRIED AT 18!! lol
But seriously they are both re-married and very happy, so I guess I hope to take the lesson that True Love does exist. Even if it took them a while to find it, they found theirs, and I'm happy to have found mine.
simba301
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My parents' 42 year marriage kind of set the standard for FH and me--or at least a goal to strive toward. We figure that, if we can communicate half as well and treat each other with half of the love, respect and kindness my parents showed each other every day, we'll be happy.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, FH's parents had a very abusive and dysfunctional relationship. They were divorced before we started dating. So, I've never met his father and FH hardly ever talks about him. I'm pretty sure he learned what kind of husband and father he doesn't want to be from his dad.
ReadyToBeAMrs
Posted:
Member since
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MrsDtoBe
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 7-23
Posted by futuremap
The biggest thing that I can think of will probably sound small and maybe kind of silly, but my parents STILL hold hands… everywhere. When I was younger I remember being embarrassed by it… none of my other friends parents were showing ANY love or connection in front of us, why did mine have to?? Looking back, I am so appreciative of this small act because it showed me that they still love each other just as much now as they did before having children! Looking at FH's parents, they are EXACTLY the same way as mine.
Exactly this!
brads girl
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My parents just celebrated their 30 year anniversary and his parents 40th is coming up and both sets of parents have such a strong relationship... If I learned anything from them ... Communication! It's key in a marriage ! And also still hold hands and kiss and always say 'I love you'
FDwedding14
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My parents are divorced and so are Fh's.. Oh boy! I guess we learned what not to do! But I think it makes us both value our relationship and want to work harder to make it last since we both know what being in a family going through a divorce is like.
LadyReeRee
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My parents just celebrated their 47th anniversary and FH's parents were also together for 40+ years until his moms passing last May.
I would say the one thing I learned is that you need some space once in a while. If your hubby pisses you off, go in another room for a bit and cool off. I think this is why my parents house is so big lol.
Soon2BeMrsPy
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 7-23
My parents got divorced and it was definitely a ROUGH divorce. My dad is very manipulative and narcissistic so things basically went crazy. What I learned was to do everything the opposite of what they did! My mom was a great wife and was very doting and took care of all of the responsibilities but she was taken for granted. FH's parents were married for 40 years before his mother passed away. They had a very long lasting, loving marriage and we hope to last as long and longer!!
FH and I have a very sound relationship and are on the same page. We are both communicators so we aren't worried about that becoming an issue and we have the same views of married life and raising children so I think as long as we stay on the same page, love each other unconditionally and have respect for one another we will be just fine.
NIKOLE
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
Ugh, Nothing...absolutely nothing. I've known nothing but divorce. My grandparents were divorced my entire life, my parents finally got divorced after MANY years of me wishing it! FH mom is on her 3rd marriage. I just want our relationship to be OURS and nobody elses
Brunettelizzie29
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 7-23
My parents have been divorced since I was 12 and my FH's parents are separated, but act like they're married when they get together LOL..weird!
But what I will bring with me is communication & trust..i feel like that can be some of the downfalls in relationships, well at least in my parents. But ultimately we are the ones in charge of our fate, and we are eachothers best friends, confidants & lovers, so as long as you both want to make it work..you will
Angie2014
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My mom met my dad when she was 14, got married as soon as she turned 21 and had me at 22 years of age. My parents have been married for almost 29 years now, and they are happiest when around each other. Mom and dad have literally never spent a night apart from each other since they got married. I think the key to their marriage is laughter. They always joke around and make each other laugh. When we were little, we used to be amazed because they acted like playful kids: dad said something to tease mom, and she used to run around the house chasing him with a spatula. It was the funniest sight ever. They also talk to each other about EVERYTHING.
When FH asked my dad for my hand in marriage, dad told us that the the key to a successful relationship and marriage is laughter and communication. I almost cried when I heard that, coz that's how I would describe my relationship with FH: we always make each other laugh and talking about things has never been easier with him.
Terriechick
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My parents are married almost 38 years but I feel like they are more roommates. My mom does not talk to my dad when something is bothering her adn I am already breaking this habit. I do believe in the stay together through thick and thin since they were debating divorce but never went through with it they worked it out and this is how they are and they do get along.
I appreciate their freindship and would hope the fact that FH is my best friend never changes.. I just dont want the intimacy to chenge.. Bith his parents are divorced and he refuses to be his father. SO he definitly learned the kind of husband he does not want to be.
Percz2418
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My parents will be married 33 years this October. Though they've had their ups and downs they have a really awesome marriage and have set a great example for me and my fiancé. What I've taken from them to be the most important things I'll incorporate in my marriage is honesty and loyalty. My parents are honest with one another even if it causes a fight as opposed to placating one another. They also are SO loyal to cone another. My favorite thing is the way they still make each other laugh after all these years. I hope to bring all these traits of my parent's marriage to my own.
RoandJoe
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
My parents are also divorced. I was too young to really have learned anything of what I should have done as far as they go. However FH's parents have been married for 36 years, and I take all of my observations from them. They love to just go do things when they have time together, even tiny street fairs..just to get out and spend time out of the house. They work together with everything. They spend time alone, even if its just his mom playing a game on the ipad while his dad is reading the paper in another room. Lastly, they laugh with each other all the time. They truly love each other, and I tell FH all the time that I hope we are just like them for years to come. :end sappiness:
futuremap
Posted:
Member since
QOTD 7-23
Whether it be things you have learned in a positive way or things you have learned through rough patches in your parents and future in laws lives, I truly feel that they have such an impact on who we become, who we love and how we love. It was amazing to hear all of your stories and I appreciate you sharing with me!!! :)
