Brides Helping Brides ™ - QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

michele31 Posted: Oct 27, 2003 10:10 AM

QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

My brother and I totally disagree on this issue. I would love to hear what my fellow LIW gals think.

Question: Do grandparents (NOT the ones who provide full-time daycare to their grandchildren) have to put all of their stuff away and move furniture around because your child is coming over for a few hours?

Situation: My brother and SIL actually think that my stepmother should put away all of her vases, knick-knacks, even her wine rack because my nephew will be coming over (with them) for a 3 hour dinner/cake for my Dad's b-day. My stepmother has many very nice 'things' throughout her home and always had, even when my little brothers were small toddlers. She never put anything away. They learned 'not to touch'. My own grandmother was the same way and we never touched her 'special' things when we went for a visit.

When my nephew was very small, she and my dad put up a baby gate in front of the stairs since that is a very dangerous situation. I do agree, that a baby gate around stairs is important though.

My brother has made several comments that if she doesn't want something broken it shouldn't be within his son's reach I feel that the parents should be watching their child in someone else's home and that my parents do not have to move their home around because they are coming over for dinner. Of course, it isn't like they do not have knives on the floor! But they have every right to have a vase on their table or a figure on an end table.

What are your thoughts?

IrishTracy Posted: Oct 27, 2003 10:25 AM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

I don't think so! You just have to be on top of your kids!

BriarRose Posted: Oct 27, 2003 10:25 AM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

I agree with you! It is my responsiblity to make sure that my son is not breaking other peoples things. Not my parents. They put a gate up on the stairs and that's it!!

kptoys Posted: Oct 27, 2003 10:28 AM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

I put outlet covers in both grandparents homes. Other than that we make sure doors are closed. Emma is free to roam

JENHOS Posted: Oct 27, 2003 10:50 AM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

So funny you ask this question because we were talking about it last night at my dads. No I don't think they should have to. But you do have to be really on top of it. My neices and Nephews are 4 and older now and should (I stress should) know better than what they can and can't touch. Last night they were all running around my dads house and the adults were in the den. We heard a crash. (luckily it was something insignificant)

My mom has lots of lladro's and expensive statues that mean even more to my dad now that she is gone. He runs a risk everytime they are over that one may get knocked over by accident. So I guess if your parents have things that can't be replaced they may wan't to move them when the kids 'blow' in for a visit.

chmlengr Posted: Oct 27, 2003 11:46 AM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

Posted by IrishTracy

I don't think so! You just have to be on top of your kids!

Agreed. I believe it's the parents responsibility to watch their kids.

However, if there is something that's really expensive or sentimental, we all know that accidents happen, so maybe extra precaution would be taken by grandma to prevent an accident waiting to happen. But by no means are they required to baby proof thier home.

Wendy Posted: Oct 27, 2003 12:00 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

As a grandmother I can tell you that I expected my daughter to watch my granddaughter and to teach her what she could and couldn't touch. However, I also tried to make sure that really breakable or irreplacable items were out of harms way and more importantly, that I had toys for Alexis to play with. These toys were kept at my house and were not something that she had at home so she wasn't tired of them.

Toddlers, especially, have a natural curiousity so they want to look and touch everything. If you have something else for them to do it helps. I found that letting her play with pot covers was one of her favorite things to do!!

michele31 Posted: Oct 27, 2003 12:05 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

My parents have an extra bedroom that my nephew is more than allowed to play in and he has a TV in there as well to watch his tapes. My brother honestly thinks my stepmother should not have her SERVER in the DR since it has a pointed edge! And that when Ryan found the new wine rack it was my parent's fault for having it out in the first place...I think that is insane.

Fran M Posted: Oct 27, 2003 12:29 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

I totally agree with you. Parents need to teach their children to respect the property of others. That often starts with 'we dont touch x, just look at how nice it is'. I aways have 'stuff' out in our home. My Niece loves to look at the 'just looking dolls' and crystal.

charliesgirl Posted: Oct 27, 2003 12:37 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

I think its up to tha parents.

My father has always teased me and said that he babyproofed the house once and he will never do it again.

My in-laws use to take care of my husband's niece when her SIL worked and they had to pretty much babayproof their home b/c she was there all day long. Now they are renovating the first floor of their house and they are building a roomoff their kitchen for the 'grandchildren' to wreck havoc in.

charliesgirl Posted: Oct 27, 2003 12:40 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

One more thing, when my SIL brings her two kids over I have learned to move things out of their reach but I have also set up basket full of coloring books and games for them to play with. That keeps them preoccupied so the adults can talk.

Elizabeth Posted: Oct 27, 2003 12:47 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

It depends on the age of the child but if I had things around I didnt want broken I wouldnt want the child to get their lesson on what they can and cant touch at my house and I would move them temporarily. As the mother of a very very active and rambunctious one year old, I can tell you he had no real concept of the word 'NO' yet. We are trying to teach him at our house and while we are baby proofed, we have left our CD towers full and that is kind of where I am teaching him. I rather do it with one item than to chase him around yelling NO at many things. Once I think he's understanding the concept, I will start to branch out. As the parent, you definitely have to be on top of your child but I think a grandparents house should be a place that has some baby proofing otherwise, all the parent is going to do for the 3 hour visit is chase their child around, which I can tell you is very exhausting thing, if you have to keep grabbing things out of the child's hand and have constant near misses. It's not going to be a good time for anyone IMO. Now if you are talking about an older child who has no discipline and runs wild all the time, that's another story but you didnt say how old a chidl you're talking about. My 3 year old niece doesnt need baby proofing

Claud2001 Posted: Oct 27, 2003 02:05 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

My parents' house is not babyproofed AT ALL - and they have many stairs in their house and NO gates b/c of the way the house is designed. They'd have to erect new walls, or knock down existing ones, in order to put gates up.

That said, Jeff and I totally do not expect my parents to go through the expense of babyproofing. BUT, that also means that our visits to my parents' house are NEVER relaxing....we are constantly chasing Paul and making sure he stays out of trouble. It is very tiring, but that's life with a toddler.

JennRenee Posted: Oct 27, 2003 04:40 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

I totally agree that it is not the grandparents (or any homeowner for that matter) job to baby proof.
It's the parents' job to WATCH THEIR CHILD!

VickiC Posted: Oct 27, 2003 05:40 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

My parents house was never babyproofed and my mom used to take care of my nephew when my sister was at work. He learned what he could and couldn't touch.

No baby gates either - he learned at a very young age how to go up and down the stairs in their home so gates were never really needed.

Granted, there were always so many people around that he really couldn't get into too much trouble, but still, my mom never had anything broken.

LisaT Posted: Oct 27, 2003 06:03 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

I think 'babyproofing' has gotten carried away. My house wasn't babyproofed when we grew up, and we survived.

I understand wanting to keep the child safe, and I know some of the items are very helpful But overall, I think children need to be taught responsibility and the consequences of their actions - keeping them in a bubble isn't good for anyone.

yabbobay Posted: Oct 27, 2003 07:14 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

When I was a kid I touched something on a shelf at my parents friends house - and the wife yelled at me...and I NEVER touched anything again!!!!

Elizabeth Posted: Oct 27, 2003 08:52 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

Again, it comes back to how old the child is. A small child doesn't understand. I didnt consider the question about babyproofing in terms of them going out and buying expensive safety items, but I'd still move precious breakable items if I had a 1 or 2 year old around.

Certainly, I'd expect that the grandparents would not want a child to be yelled at as a deterrent when he/she doesnt even understand.

ETA: The original question was phrased in a way that the issue was more about baby proofing to keep the grandparents' items unbroken and not as focused on the child safety angle. As far as my child's safety, I don't care if it's someone's house that is supposedly 100% baby proofed, I'm still not letting him too far away from me (Im faster than I ever knew I was since Luke started walking) because you never know. I found a thumbtack on my SIL's floor the other day and they have 2 kids ages 1 & 3 and are very baby proofed, it only takes a second for the baby to get into something and get hurt...or worse.

Karen H Posted: Oct 27, 2003 09:05 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

In addition to the issue of understanding the concept of 'don't touch' there is also the issue of developing self restraint.

I recently read something that made a lot of sense. It said that while a small child may understand No and Don't Touch, they have not yet developed the skill of self restraint - that's why they may still touch things, and later say that they knew they weren't supposed to, and don't know why they did. The article said they did not develop the skill of self restraint until they are about 5 or 6.

DKA1026 Posted: Oct 27, 2003 10:03 PM

Re: QOTD- Do grandparents have to baby proof their home?

I agree with you! I would never expect my in laws or my parents to baby proof their home every time we visit with the baby. I feel that my child is my responsibility and it's up to me to keep her 'under control' in other people's homes!