QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

Original post by DebMaher

Oct 17, 2004 05:16 PM

May leave this one for a couple of days -- since late now....

Well, since we met, I am more mellow, and he has put me in touch with a part of me that had laid dormant for a while, the non career-obsessed, take the time to smell the roses side. He made me appreciate surprises, big and small.
Since engagement, I am much more accepting and thrilled, in fact, about becoming a new family. I had been so protective of my own identity and my career that it has been truly eye opening to envision how much better life can be when shared with someone amazing.

DebMaher Posted: Oct 18, 2004 08:50 AM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

Posted by SFP0214

I have started 'nesting' I can't wait to start a family and have a house and all that.
Also before FH there was a relationship where I let someone walk all over me for several years.. and few similar mini relationships after that. I became cynical and bitter and thought Fh's affection was just an act to get close to me.. like he was over the top affectionate just to win me over.

Stephen taught me what it was like to let someone treat you like a lady, respect you and do anything in the world to make you happy. I liked it at first, then it really freaked me out ( I considered breaking up with him if he didn't become mean or something- crazy!!) , now I demand it from everyone I encounter and drive FH crazy being a princess. I am starting to realize that guys can be sensitve and not macho. and that is okay. He is changing too... realizing that at times the sensitive, gentile act needs to take a walk so he can be protective, strong and well a jerk when needed (umm we are buying a house as we speak and he learned this lesson very quickly this weekend when the mortgage guy was condesending to me )

I think we have both grown together and changed together to become better people and a better couple. I was very bitter towards men and had such a hard time accepting affection from him.. he was trying too hard to be pleasing and letting people walk all over him. I am now softer and he is getting a little harder. We both talked last week about how since we got engagd, if we screw up in our personal lives it affects the both of us. That is a good feeling.

Does this make sense?

Yes, it is quite eloquent.

Johnny&Maur Posted: Oct 18, 2004 09:09 AM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

I know I've become more outspoken and not as timid as I used to be (prob a result from a previous bad relationship). He just makes me feel like a completely happy person, and we have the best time together even if we're doing nothing at all. And he tells me that he's mellowed out since meeting me and that i make him look at things in a different way. We aren't exactly opposites, but I am more relaxed, and he is more tense...so we balance each other out nicely :)

diamondgrlie Posted: Oct 18, 2004 09:19 AM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

I love that I can just be myself, and I love how when I am with him, I feel so sure of myself and happy.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Oct 18, 2004 11:00 AM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

He makes me feel beautiful - never have I had someone constantly affirm my inner and outer beauty.

I am more organized and neat - he would have left me by now if that had not changed.

DMcK Posted: Oct 18, 2004 11:07 AM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

I feel like I have found a whole side of myself that was in hibernation. He has brought out so much in me that was hidden away. He is so tender, gentle, supportive, and loving, that I feel free to show a more vulnerable side of myself to the world. In turn, I feel so much more and enjoy life so much more. He has given me the security to be the best me I can be.

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Oct 18, 2004 11:10 AM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

Other than gaining a bit of weight?

Deb, I am definitely with you on being more mellow. I used to be really stressed out and high strung, and being with him has taught me to be calmer. Not to stress about things that really aren't worth it.

I think I treat the people in my life better, watching him with his family. He isn't just good to ME, but everyone he knows and I really admire that about him.

RVCBride Posted: Oct 18, 2004 11:33 AM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

Thanks DebMaher

nylibride Posted: Oct 18, 2004 12:17 PM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

great thread...

I think that I can better recognize when I'm freaking out about small stuff. He actually will laugh at me sometimes when I'm stressing, which, rather than piss me off, which it would from anyone else...disarms me and makes me laugh at myself
He's also helping me become 'fiscally responsible' (it's a slow process)...
I think I'm just a generally happier person...

Pookiesangel Posted: Oct 18, 2004 01:00 PM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

A few things have changed about me..

1) Patience, I never really had it before. I'm a take charge type of person, very organized and not always one to think things through before I jump in. FH has helped me to take time and look at all my options.

2) Learning to Listen and listen well. Any of my friends will tell you, I always seem to half-listen to them, my mind is always three subjects ahead. When FH and I first began dating we had some 'issues', he felt I never listened and I felt he was trying to boss me around..lol Instead of listening to his advice, I'd get defensive and tune him out, it took me a long time to realize, he knows me well, he knows what makes me tick and I needed to trust that.

3) Learning to compromise, I too always got my way. But I realized it's a 50-50 thing, and sometimes things are more important to one of us and not the other, but because our partner feels it's important, then it needs to be a priority for 'us'

4) Last but not least, be honest about what or how I feel. Being overweight since age 5, I learned to say or do what other's wanted, not what I wanted. I guess because I felt people would like me more if I seemed more agreeable, ahh the lessons we learn right? FH has given me the confidence to really say, NO when I mean NO and Yes when I mean Yes! (and no I don't mean in the bedroom lol)

I guess it boils down to one simple thing, when you are loved unconditionally, it really sets you free. Things that seemed like earth ending, just aren't anymore. I agree with most of you. There is a a new found peace in my life and I owe it all to my pookie!!!!

GettingMarried0402 Posted: Oct 18, 2004 05:15 PM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

I am a more confident individual. I am very happy with myself and happy with my life overall.
He helped me regain my spiritual faith again and made me realize that things in life all happen for a reason.

He's been so understanding and patient with my many issues and I love him for that.

DebMaher Posted: Oct 18, 2004 05:24 PM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

'I guess it boils down to one simple thing, when you are loved unconditionally, it really sets you free. Things that seemed like earth ending, just aren't anymore. '

Wow, Pookie's angel....hoe perfectly you phrased what so many of us were thinking!

Bunnymonkey Posted: Oct 18, 2004 06:38 PM

Re: QOTD: In what way have you changed most since meeting/FI, becoming engaged?

Posted by DebMaher

'I guess it boils down to one simple thing, when you are loved unconditionally, it really sets you free. Things that seemed like earth ending, just aren't anymore. '

Wow, Pookie's angel....hoe perfectly you phrased what so many of us were thinking!

Beautiful phrasing pookiesangel!

Can I use it in my program!?

Thanks Deb for the topic - there is alot more that i didn't write - but the question had me thinking and appreciating him today...And WHO wanted to get rid of the QOTD?!?!?!?!?!?!