Question

Does your mother call your FH behind your back and say things like -'dont tell her i called' or 'dont tell her we had this conversation'? and her calls are not about planning a shower or anything like that.

nope not at all, my fh and my mom prob have said maybe 5 words to each other after 9 years(language thing)

No...

Nope, but we're not really 'secret' people here.

I think my mom and FH emailed a few times about things but never anything wedding or me-related. She sometimes asks him for help with the computer.

FMIL emails me ALLLLLLLLL the time (to the point that it can get annoying...) or posts all over my facebook wall comments and stuff about anything and everything. FMIL has now started befriending my parents on facebook and doing the same thing with their profiles... it's getting a little ridiculous, but that's just the way she is...

I suppose that's a rant for another time.

ummmm no

No, but I call my MIL and tell her things that DH does and tell her not to tell him that I told her!

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Posted by springsandra

Nope, but we're not really 'secret' people here.

I think my mom and FH emailed a few times about things but never anything wedding or me-related. She sometimes asks him for help with the computer.

FMIL emails me ALLLLLLLLL the time (to the point that it can get annoying...) or posts all over my facebook wall comments and stuff about anything and everything. FMIL has now started befriending my parents on facebook and doing the same thing with their profiles... it's getting a little ridiculous, but that's just the way she is...

I suppose that's a rant for another time.

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yea its really really really bothering me!!!!! this is the second time and he is soooo pissed off! but he doesnt want her to know that he told me. like why are you trying to make my finace keep secrets from me?????????? you want us to start our marriage with secrets????????? gee thanks.

and thats another thing that is bothering me as well!! my mother asked his mom to join facebook and now they talk all the time on it, and call each other and the invite places... its getting really annoying. and i guess it wouldnt be so bad, but she doesnt even tell me- so in a sense its AGAIN behind my back. but she is not even friendly with my siblings inlaws.

I can totally understand how this would bother you!

The thing is, it's going to be almost impossible to stop. I think the best thing to do is to have your FH tell your mom that he won't keep any secrets from you, and if she tells him something, he's going to tell you. That way, she's on alert about it and if she continues to tell him things, she'll know why you know.

She seriously can't be angry at him if he tells you!!! She should be angry at him if he doesn't! (Ohhhh I hope she's not one of those moms who 'tests' people like that...)

I don't think you're going to be able to prevent any of them from talking, and it's kinda nice they're trying to be friendly. (Better than them hating each other.) I would just be clear from the start... this is a 'no secrets' family they're all marrying together, and nothing said to one person will EVER be a secret.

It might shut them up, it might not, but either way, you won't have to worry about talking about what was said anymore.

nopeee