Please tell me, is there something wrong about NOT breastfeeding your baby. Is it not as healthy, or does it not create the mother/infant bond that I often hear of.
Some of you are probably balking at this question, but I really do not see myself wanting to breast feed all the time when the time comes for me to have a baby.
NIHA
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
There is nothing wrong with NOT breastfeeding. You have a choice, so be comfortable with that. Yes, nutritionally, they say that breastmilk is best, so that is why many women choose to breastfeed, including that it's convenient and free!
Breastfeeding has probably been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life! I'm very glad I stuck with it, but still think of weaning my daughter often. I see it as a wonderful gift that I can give to her. But I know that this is a difficult decision for many moms.
If the reason taht you don't want to breastfeed is because you don't want to 'breastfeed all the time' then you can consider pumping milk after the baby is a month or so old so that your husband or others can help with feedings. Or, you can supplement with formula. If you choose to only give formula, there are other ways you can bond.
Maybe when the time comes, you can try it out, the milk will be there and see what happens.
sn00k4
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
I don't think there's anything wrong about not breastfeeding your baby. I think this is a very personal decision that we have to make.
nrvbrd
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
Oh,so you CAN do both?
Forgive me for being clueless.
The reason why I do not want to do it is because I hear how uncomfortable it is and so on. I know I sound selfish, but I just do not like the idea of having the baby permanently attached to my breast.
I know I sound mean and you guys may oust me from the community,but that is how I feel.
NIHA
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
It doesnt' sound selfish to me. It is REALLY hard to have to meet the demands of a breastfeeding baby sometimes. I don't mean to make it sound bad, but yes, it sometimes does feel like she is attached to me all the time, especially when you have a baby that wants to nurse for comfort a lot!
Yes you can do both, but it can interfere with supply if you start formula too early. It didn't for me, but it's possible.
It's not mean, your feelings are normal and I think it's wise to think everything through from all perspectives before you give birth. I wish someone had told me how difficult it would be, and honesty (not sugar coating) is important.
nrvbrd
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
Niha, thank you so much!
I really appreciate the fact that you are so candid.
Melissa
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
I'm due in a couple of months, and I'm still not comfortable w/breast feeding. But, my DH INSISTS that I do for the health reasons, and he says 'What do you think they're there for???' He's too cute! But anyway... I am extremely worried about this whole breastfeeding thing, to me it's embarrasing and uncomfortable, but I'm praying I feel differently when he comes!
Stacey1403
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(Warning may be TMI) Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
I totally agree with everything Niha said. It is extremely demanding and not for the faint of haeart. The first 2 weeks are the worst and after a month it's a breeze (for the most part) The first 2 weeks are when it hurts( I know all the books say if they are latched on correctlly it shouldn't hurt, that's Bulls hit!!!) In the beginning I had bloodblisters on my nipples and oh boy were they sore. I was lucky Damien latched on right away so I didn't have to deal with him not latching on, but you have to be really committed to it to continue on, IMHO. If I wasn't totally dead set for it I would have probably said forget it. Your DH also needs to be supportive. When I was in the hospital Damien went from 8lbs to 7lbs 6oz and Steve was freaking out that I should supplement, so I had a long and tearful talk with him about needing his support as we started out. I hope I didn't scare anyone but I wanted you to know the truth about the beginning. it is without a doubt the most rewarding thing I have ever done and when he is nursing and looks up into my eyes there is nothing like it HTH
Elizabeth
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
I don't see how anyone - this board or otherwise - could balk at this, it's your own decision. And I really dislike that Moms-to-be can sometimes be made to feel like they are not doing right by their child if they don't. As if a Mom doesnt have enough to worry or stress about separate of this. Despite what you hear out there, not everyone wants to breastfeed. I dont mean the ones it doesnt work out for, I mean women who prefer to formula feed. It doesnt mean you dont care about your child or that you are an 'imperfect' mother. Your child will feel the love and bond between you based on how you consistently treat them not purely over whether they are breastfed. Be gentle with yourself, try not to put guilt on yourself over this.
DKA1026
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
I also plan to breastfeed, but I have similar fears. I'm afraid of it hurting, of not doing it right, of having to be available 24/7 just in case the baby wants to nurse at any given moment. But, I will definitely try it because it's so healthy for the baby and because I have nothing to lose. I also think it might feel rewarding in some ways. If it isn't working for us though, I will supplment with formula. I would rather be a happy mommy and give the baby a bottle than an agitated nursing mom! I truly believe that the baby will be able to sense my frustration and I wouldn't want that....
phyl
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
DKA- your comment was on target...rather be a happy mom than an aggravated breastfeeding one? ...well you CANNOT bf easily if you are aggravated or under pressure, or not feeling well...etc.
for those Moms to be- my advice is GIVE IT A TRY- and that means at least 2 weeks. PLEASE give it a try before passing on it. It is something that builds up your child's immunity...nature has provided the perfect food for your child that YOU are able to produce. Formula is GREAT, yes, but it is a replica, not the original
if you have latching problems, the nurses in the hospiatl will help or they will have a lactation consultant avail. if you use midwives, they will be INVALUABLE when it comes to BFing ( Im no expert and was bfing Julianne MOMENTS after her birth)...
its a wonderful feeling too...that this life you had INSIDE of you , now that it is out in the world, continues to be nourished by you....
I am not slamming anyone who uses formula-- I am just saying dont say no until you give it half a chance....and surround yourself with SUPPORTIVE people....my 2 cents
michele31
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
I think it is a personal decision that should be made by the WOMAN (sorry, but I do not think any man can insist on something that has to do with your body). It is not for everyone for a variety of reasons.
I think that moms to be should take a bfing class just so that they make an educated decision- and not just listening to the opinions of a friend or relative.
There are a lot of health benefits to bfing. You should know them prior to making the decision either way. There are also various ways to combine formula, pumping, bfing into your baby's diet.
I do not think you are selfish for using formula or being nervous about breast feeding. As long as your provide the proper nutrition and care for your child you are a good mother!
Victoria
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
There is nothing wrong with not BF'ing. Do not allow anyone to make you feel guilty. You can always change your mind when the baby is born. It might be a good idea to take a BF class and be as educated as possible in case you decide to try. You can stop whenever you want, but getting started is not easy unless you are prepeared. Reading and speaking to BTDT moms is very important. If you choose to formula feed you can still hold you baby close and cuddle to create a bond. This is coming from a mom who just weaned her DD when she was 9+ months. I never thought I would have continued that long. If you choose to try you may surprise yourself. Best of luck with your decision.
Sassyz75
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
don't feel bad. I don't plan on doing it. I may pump for the beginning to supp. the forumla but I really just don't want to do the direct 'hook up' I know that sounds mean... but I just don't want to do it, and I don't think I have to give a reason.
I know a lot of kids that were breast fed that have allergies and health problems and I know a lot of bottle fed children that have allergies & health problems, and of course I know both that are very healthy..
Plus, it may be a cultural thing within my family- not one child was BF... all bottles.... and we are all close knit, very Italian-obsessed with each other family and my mom is my best friend... so her not BF me did not ruin my relationship.
no one should make you feel guilty- do what's right for you.
nrvbrd
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Re: Question about breast feeding- rather not.
Thank you so much ladies.
Though I do not plan on starting a family for another year or so I want to prepare myself.
I guess I am nervous and uncertain. When the time comes, I will take a BF class to educate myself.
