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Question about favor etiquette

PeteysBride Posted:

Question about favor etiquette

Ok so everything is pretty much set for our date aside from a few minor things. But I have one more qeuestion of you gals:

Are favors required? FH hates the idea. Every weeding we have been to, the favors were awful and we never kept even one. I had thought of doing a donation but he wanted me to ask if it was in bad taste not to do any since we are paying for everything and half our guests are just coming for the food. Can we skip it or is it beyond tacky?

And if tacky, what are decent but inexpensive favors? We have a serious budget.
HotAir Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

The last two weddings that I went to did not do a favor. Instead, they did the donation thing. It seems like a lot of people are opting for that these days.

imas98 Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

I don't think it's tacky to skip it but some people may be looking for something. We did a donation because we think most people don't use the favors either. I think the donation favor is becoming more popular these days too...I've seen it at two previous weddings. I'd rather get nothing than something that I won't use. You can give any amount of money you choose & it's tax deductable ! JMO

Pencils Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

We didn't do a favor. We thought about doing a donation favor, but then decided that it was a private thing anyway. fDon't feel you have to do a favor. It was the same thing with us, we've both left pointless and tacky favors behind at weddings, and they weren't all cheap favors, either. And although I don't mind the idea of a edible favor...why? We provided a huge spread over many hours for our guests, including three cakes with boxes to take extra cupcakes or cake slices home. So we didn't bother.

Don't get me wrong, favors are a nice thing if you want to do it, and they can really dress up your table. But you shouldn't feel obligated to give one, especially if you're on a tight budget.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

The best useable favor I have yet to receive was a mini bottle of wine... I dunno how if its expensive or not, but I def used it! You can also do something edible as a favor (cheap, but its something that most likely people with 'use' and not just throw away!)

BoxOfRocks Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

If you don't want to do it, skip it.

Fara Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

According to my mom you don't have to. I am Jewish and she said that you don't get favors from Jewish weddings! FH is not Jewish, so we are undecided. However, I agree that they are usually useless.

But.... if you are looking for an inexpensive idea, go to Costco and get a few bags of Lindt chocolate truffles and put two or three in a little piece of cellofain (no idea how to spell) and tie with some ribbon.
ellyoxox Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

i definately don't think you have to have favors... most people probably wouldn't even notice if you don't. i also think the donation favors are a great idea.

znycgirl Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

We had the same problem...BUT FH was really for the favor thing (I was against it)...but he & his family believed that it was necessary to have a favor for people to take home & KEEP....so donation & chocolate were out. Lots of people in my family are picky about wine (including me)...so no wine.

Honestly, I like the idea of an ice-cream scoop the best. BUT FSIL had done that at her wedding...we have hers and use it all the time...so we did LOVE coasters. They were really inexpensive & I could use them.
JTsGal829 Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

My cousin did the lindtz truffles and it was a huge hit. They got these adorable truffle boxes and the labels had their names and the date.. really nice! yet simple and inexpensive! Or if you want to go the other way I do feel that Donations are a wonderful idea. The firefighter who passed away in williamsburg, brooklyn last week was my grade school classmate and my FHs cousin.. so we though of maybe donating to the scholarship fund they started in his name..!!! We felt that not only would it save our guests from useless favors that will probably never see light after our wedding..but would be a nice thing to do in his memory and the memory of all those who have lost their lives while doing for others!

CMaria81 Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

I don't think it's tacky. FH and his fam are Southern and they don't do favors but we are doing them anyway b/c my mom insists. We are doing edible favors.

firesign75 Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

We are giving a donation to Suffolk County Burn Unit, FH is a Firefighter.

SoVic08 Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette


Posted by PeteysBride

Ok so everything is pretty much set for our date aside from a few minor things. But I have one more qeuestion of you gals:

Are favors required? FH hates the idea. Every weeding we have been to, the favors were awful and we never kept even one. I had thought of doing a donation but he wanted me to ask if it was in bad taste not to do any since we are paying for everything and half our guests are just coming for the food. Can we skip it or is it beyond tacky?

And if tacky, what are decent but inexpensive favors? We have a serious budget.




Maybe instead of doing a 'favor' do like 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts and the following mornings newpaper when your guests leave. This way they get something 'useable' and you don't feel tacky.

ETA: IMO favors should be something you will use or you can eat, or a donation. Otherwise I think they are a waste of time and money (no offense to anyone). I have thrown away more tacky favors that serve no purpose except to clutter things up.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

I honestly have more coasters than I care to have at this point... LOL So I def do not plan on giving coasters out... Unless of course over the next 2 yrs, I collect so many that I can 'regift' em JK!!
Pencils Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

I can see how people would like that, but as an alcoholic, it seems like a problem just waiting to happen to me. Pretty much everyone has a couple of non-sober alcoholics in the family (or friends) and it could be a bad thing to give those people a bottle of wine. I can think of one person at my wedding for whom it would have been a very bad thing to do. Or even to give one to a sober person like me. What am I supposed to do with that? I'd just leave it behind or give it to someone else. There's always a certain amount of people who don't drink, especially if you have kids and teens at the wedding, so then you'd have to get two favors, and...seems like a lot of trouble to me.




Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
The best useable favor I have yet to receive was a mini bottle of wine... I dunno how if its expensive or not, but I def used it! You can also do something edible as a favor (cheap, but its something that most likely people with 'use' and not just throw away!)

Junebride06 Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

Why don't you try something small and simple like personalized M&Ms. You can get them in your wedding colors and have them printed with your own words. Very cute!!!

femmes Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

if you dont want to do favors, you dont have to. Its your wedding. I like the idea of a favor, and i have kept all the favors from every wedding i have been to.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette


Posted by Pencils

I can see how people would like that, but as an alcoholic, it seems like a problem just waiting to happen to me. Pretty much everyone has a couple of non-sober alcoholics in the family (or friends) and it could be a bad thing to give those people a bottle of wine. I can think of one person at my wedding for whom it would have been a very bad thing to do. Or even to give one to a sober person like me. What am I supposed to do with that? I'd just leave it behind or give it to someone else. There's always a certain amount of people who don't drink, especially if you have kids and teens at the wedding, so then you'd have to get two favors, and...seems like a lot of trouble to me.




Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
The best useable favor I have yet to receive was a mini bottle of wine... I dunno how if its expensive or not, but I def used it! You can also do something edible as a favor (cheap, but its something that most likely people with 'use' and not just throw away!)




My take on this is that it is a tiny bottle... If they dont want it, they can leave it on the table... It wont go to waste, I'll take all the leftovers back home with me (I am in no way an alcoholic, but it would get used) Wouldnt the 'alcoholics' be tempted at your wedding when they can just go to the bar and get a free drink ? I see it as the same thing... You cant count something out just because it wouldnt be a good idea for the 5% of your guests.... That would be like me saying... 'well, let me check with all my guests first on what day would be better for them to attend my wedding' You cannot make every single person happy... If you get chocolates, there will be people that will get upset because they are on a diet and cant eat it and you are tempting them that way.... Bottom line, you can;t please everyone & if you try to, you will drive yourself nuts!
kabo0831 Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

well, i amd going to do favors but since i was reading like i think that donation sounds nice too

angl2001 Posted:

Re: Question about favor etiquette

u can go to michaels and get little buckets or favor bags and just throw some jordan almonds or something in them. Its cheap enough so at least there is something. I know my family would have something to say if there wasnt some kind of favor lol

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