Question about MOHs and BMs

TheLadyJ Posted: Oct 03, 2011 02:21 PM

Question about MOHs and BMs

So from the very beginning of wedding planning, I said my bridal party would just be my 2 sister as co-MOHs. It all seemed perfect.

But now I am starting to regret not asking my best friend to be in my bridal party. So, I figured I would ask her too, but now I have a dilema.

Do I ask her to be a BM, then have 2 MOHs and one BM (which makes it seem like she is less important than the MOHs)

Can I have 3 MOHs, which is what I think I want to do.

My sister said they should all be bridesmaids, but honestly, I've already asked my 2 sisters to be my MOHs and it seems like a demotion to now say bridesmaid.

These 3 people are the most important females in my life (after my mother) and I cannot think of not having them there. But I feel like to call them MOH vs BM would somehow make it seem like 1 is more important and that's not the case.

Advice please.

leesah85 Posted: Oct 03, 2011 02:23 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

i think it really depends

are any of them married? then you can have two matrons of honor and one maid, etc.

or it really depends if you're getting married at achurch or a RH

i feel like a RH would be OK with having 3 MOHs. my church had a hard time with accepting that i had 2 MOHs

HTH!

TheLadyJ Posted: Oct 03, 2011 02:45 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

I am getting married at the church. My younger sister is married, the other is not.

My friend will be getting married in April, so it will be 2 Matrons and 1 Maid.

Would it look weird in a program to see 3 MOHs. I don't want people to think I'm crazy

chliekm Posted: Oct 03, 2011 02:54 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

IMO I would have you friend be a BM and then your sisters are the Matron and Maid of Honors.

I honestly don't think matters what you call anyone.. so if you really want another MOH then do it, but really what is the difference between them? Would calling her a MOH be that much different than calling her a BM??

My sister is my MOH and she is doing WAY MORE than the other BM's in the wedding party... and she's my sister so it was easy for me to choose. My best friends are BM's and there is no issue with that

good luck!!

IrishAli Posted: Oct 03, 2011 02:58 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

Your sisters should be MOHs. You can make your friend a bridesmaid, or, since she is spending oodles of money this year with her wedding coming uo, you could ask her to be a reader instead

TheLadyJ Posted: Oct 03, 2011 03:00 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

Thanks, but we already have our readers picked out. Since my BM dresses are more than likely going to blue, asking her to be my 'something blue' will king of lose its effect.

pixietina Posted: Oct 03, 2011 03:41 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

I don't think there is anything wrong with having your friend be a BM. To me MOH doesn't really stand for who is the most important person, but someone I trust to help me out with the planning.

Royalgem21 Posted: Oct 03, 2011 04:49 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

Posted by pixietina

I don't think there is anything wrong with having your friend be a BM. To me MOH doesn't really stand for who is the most important person, but someone I trust to help me out with the planning.

Posted by pixietina

Agreed, or maybe just someone you are closer to (a relative, etc...) Your best friend should certainly understand if your sister (s) are the maid of honor and not her. Having 3 maids of honor might be confusing unless one is matron. Even then, I think it would make sense to have her as a bridesmaid.

SoonToBeMrsFox Posted: Oct 03, 2011 04:52 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

i don't have a MOH for this reason -- i couldn't choose between the girls, so i made all 3 of them bridesmaids.

SoonToBeEMM Posted: Oct 03, 2011 06:30 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

I think its ok to have your sisters be your MOH and your friend Be the BM. It is still a great honor to be up there with you and apart of your wedding day. Dont feel bad.

gmcamp Posted: Oct 03, 2011 08:32 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

I'm not sure what I would call her, but I agree with you that it will make it seem like she's less important because she's the only BM (even if that isn't the case). If I was in a bridal party where everyone else was a MOH and I was a BM I'd feel pretty awkward.

TheLadyJ Posted: Oct 03, 2011 11:20 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

Thanks ladies. I'm still very on the fence about this. I do know I want her to be part of the wedding party. So it's really a question of having 2MOHs and 1 BM, 3 MOHs, or 3 BMs.

I don't think I want the latter because my sisters were so thrilled to be MOHs, and I would feel bad being like 'well now you're just BMs'

I also think I'm crazy for putting so much emphasis on such a small thing like a name.

And I do think this 1 friend will wind up doing more for me than one of my sisters. But to save family drama I am making them both MOH

bowlergyal Posted: Oct 03, 2011 11:44 PM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

Posted by SoonToBeEMM

I think its ok to have your sisters be your MOH and your friend Be the BM. It is still a great honor to be up there with you and apart of your wedding day. Dont feel bad.

ITA

S00n2beWifey Posted: Oct 04, 2011 08:18 AM

Re: Question about MOHs and BMs

I think you should do whatever you want. Its your wedding and if you feel like making them all MOHs then do it! I have 3 sisters are they are ALL my MOH's HTH