I got something in the mail from my church saying that we should bring the $50 tip for the priest to the rehearsal.
A little background info---the priest who was supposed to marry us left, so we had to get a new priest. I was told that it would be the priest that was taking over for him. Well, he start June 29th, and as of yesterday, I still hadnt heard from him. So I call him another time, and he tells me that he is not doing my wedding, he will be away that weekend. So the priest who is doing my wedding calls to tell me that he is doing it. Then there was silence, and I was like well, should we set up a time to meet. And hes like, well where did you leave off with father steve. So I told him that we were going to see father steve at the rehearsal, but I think that it would be a good idea for him (the new priest) to meet us before he marrys us. Am I the insane one here? Shouldn't he have suggested that. Sorry I am mad and had to vent!
Lauram283
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Re: Question about tipping priest
Do people still 'tip' the priest? especially when you don't even know him like in your case? also, especially when you are probably already paying the church $500 for about an hour of their time that day? I don't think tipping the priest is necessary, although I know a lot of people do it.
suven
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Re: Question about tipping priest
Don't tip the priest. If you want to do something nice, give him a gift.
eta: our officiant was my mom's cousin. We still had to give all of the 'required' donations to the church.
We then gave our officiant a Thomas Kinkade reprint of a chapel
DayBeforeThanksgiving
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Re: Question about tipping priest
I'm not tipping the priest. I'm already paying a fortune for me 'Donation'.
Boop2704
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I didn't tip the priest with money. Just felt weird. Instead we got him a $50 gift certificate to a restaurant. Thats rude that they ask for a tip, especially a church!!
cjik
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Re: Question about tipping priest
We're not tipping the minister. He's invited to the wedding and the rehearsal dinner (and coming to both), so we're giving him two meals.
It's hard to believe they gave you a sheet telling you a tip is expected and how much!
Danielle2207
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Re: Question about tipping priest
I can't believe you got a letter!!! I am getting married at St william also. My letter hasn't come yet. I am sure it will be here soon. I was already planning on taking care of my priest because I feel he deserves it. He has really been great to me and my FH. However, if I was your position I wouldn't consider a tip after all they have put you through. I would INSIST to meet with the priest. How could someone marry people without knowing them, and visa vera WHAT IS HE THINKING? I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Good Luck.
i102bcute
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Re: Question about tipping priest
I am lucky when it comes to this because my priest who will marry us is FH older brother and he is the best!!
i102bcute
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Re: Question about tipping priest
Posted by Danielle2207
I can't believe you got a letter!!! I am getting married at St william also. My letter hasn't come yet. I am sure it will be here soon. I was already planning on taking care of my priest because I feel he deserves it. He has really been great to me and my FH. However, if I was your position I wouldn't consider a tip after all they have put you through. I would INSIST to meet with the priest. How could someone marry people without knowing them, and visa vera WHAT IS HE THINKING? I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Good Luck.
please keep in mind that they don't make alot of money and $50.00 is not alot to ask..some place ask for $300.00 or more!
lisad117
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Re: Question about tipping priest
I was getting married at the same church as you- also by Father Steve until I was told that he left and I got the same run around as you did with who the new priest was going to be but luckily we aren't getting married until next year so I just changed the church. I definitely don't think they should ask for a tip- It should be an option only. Good Luck!
SomethingBlu
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Re: Question about tipping priest
You're supposed to tip the priest? I thought the donation went to them entirely?
About your situation, being that he's the most important part of your day and the man that will allow your celebration to continue (not to mention unite you and DH into family) I would give the $50 and not think twice about it. It's a small price for peace of mind and if they requested it, what can you do?
With that said, I don't agree with them sending a letter, with all the changes and with the fact that you have yet to meet him. But you have to pick your battles, I guess.
dpli
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Re: Question about tipping priest
The donation doesn't go directly to the priest, it goes to the parish. I would say if you feel compelled to tip him go ahead, but I don't think you have to. Our pastor came to our Pre-Cana session and actually told us that it was unnecessary to tip the priest, since we were paying a generous 'donation' already.
I don't think it is all that unusual that you don't meet with the priest before the wedding, unless you really want to, although I wonder what his sermon will be like if he has never even met you. I think they figure if you did the beginning session with the other priest and did Pre-cana, you are covered. I can see him leaving it up to you.
The priest who did our wedding was a friend, but we didn't see him in the church until the day of the wedding. In our parish, the priest is usually not at the rehearsals, a lay couple does it. So I would say if you are hoping for a homily that is a bit personal, ask for a meeting. If not, it isn't really necessary, IMO. Don't worry too much about it.
We got my priest friend a gift card to Borders as a thank you.
Danielle2207
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Re: Question about tipping priest
Posted by i102bcute
Posted by Danielle2207
I can't believe you got a letter!!! I am getting married at St william also. My letter hasn't come yet. I am sure it will be here soon. I was already planning on taking care of my priest because I feel he deserves it. He has really been great to me and my FH. However, if I was your position I wouldn't consider a tip after all they have put you through. I would INSIST to meet with the priest. How could someone marry people without knowing them, and visa vera WHAT IS HE THINKING? I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Good Luck.
please keep in mind that they don't make alot of money and $50.00 is not alot to ask..some place ask for $300.00 or more!
Between the donation and the fee for music it comes to $510, for a 1/2 hour, believe me the church makes plenty of money for a wedding ceremony. Tipping is always optional and I really feel that it is rude to ask for a tip. I have always intended on tipping my priest because of the exceptional care he has taken towards me and my FH.
m&m2005
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Re: Question about tipping priest
My church never sent me a letter or mentioned anything about it but I feel you should do something for the priest or minister, just my opinion. I don't think they get anything for taking the time out of their schedule to do the weddings. A gift certificate is always nice to a local restaurant.
i102bcute
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Re: Question about tipping priest
Posted by Danielle2207
Posted by i102bcute
Posted by Danielle2207
I can't believe you got a letter!!! I am getting married at St william also. My letter hasn't come yet. I am sure it will be here soon. I was already planning on taking care of my priest because I feel he deserves it. He has really been great to me and my FH. However, if I was your position I wouldn't consider a tip after all they have put you through. I would INSIST to meet with the priest. How could someone marry people without knowing them, and visa vera WHAT IS HE THINKING? I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Good Luck.
please keep in mind that they don't make alot of money and $50.00 is not alot to ask..some place ask for $300.00 or more!
Between the donation and the fee for music it comes to $510, for a 1/2 hour, believe me the church makes plenty of money for a wedding ceremony. Tipping is always optional and I really feel that it is rude to ask for a tip. I have always intended on tipping my priest because of the exceptional care he has taken towards me and my FH.
Do what you feel comfortable doing but my FBIL is a priest and know that the money you donate to the church is strictly for the church, the priest sees non of that money.
