So, I have a number of guests who came to the wedding but did not give a gift. I don't really want to send them thank you cards, because honestly, I'm annoyed that people would show up without even a card to say congratulations. Some of these people didn't even speak to me or DH at the wedding; they basically showed up, ate, drank, and had a good time on ours and our parents money.
So my question is, Does it look really bad if I don't include them in my Thank You card mailing? I know I should but I'm just soooo annoyed with people. Especially my cousin who didn't rsvp, showed up, took someone else's seat and didn't say a word to me, DH or my parents. Oh yeah and he just added his name to his sister's gift; this guy is seriously 10 years older than me and acted like that.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
You're supposed to send a thank you card because they were there to celebrate with you, not to give a gift.
However, i probably wouldn't send anything to someone who didn't give a gift. it's bad manners on their end so i see no reason to be nice in return!
Rosalind_75
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
I'm sending a thank you card to everyone that showed up to the wedding.
believe it or not, not everyone knows to bring a envelope to a wedding. i had a few guest who got us some pretty nice gifts off our registry but didnt give us a envelope. i guess they thought that's what your supposed to do.
plus, dont forget the one year rule.
soontobecruz
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
I would... IMO there is no 'rule' that someone HAS to give you a gift. I think it is in poor taste not too but none-the-less it isn't necessary.
I would just write in the card thank you for being with us on our special day.
Leave out anything having to do with a gift at all. They 'should' get the point. Also etiquette states guests have up to a year to send a wedding gift.
asg450
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
Posted by Rosalind_75
I'm sending a thank you card to everyone that showed up to the wedding.
believe it or not, not everyone knows to bring a envelope to a wedding. i had a few guest who got us some pretty nice gifts off our registry but didnt give us a envelope. i guess they thought that's what your supposed to do.
plus, dont forget the one year rule.
I forgot about the 1 year rule. I don't really have a problem with the lack of gift; I guess I'm more annoyed at the fact that some people showed up and didn't even speak to my parents or us. Like if I went to a table some people didn't really seem to care to speak.
christine2010
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
We had two guests no-gift us. One nicely explained her situation in the card.
The other person I am really ticked off at. She is a flake of a friend & has been doing lots of crap leading up until this that has pissed me off. We will not be sending her a thank you card.
HSsweethearts
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
You still need to send a thank you. I would feel the same way in your position, but you need to thank them for coming to celebrate with you.
According to Peggy Post, weddings do not actually requre gifts, the only occasion that requires a gift is a shower.
Still people should have the decency to at least bring a card!
alli3131
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
Yes you still send them a TY card. It is not a requirement for anyone to give you a gift.
It would be rude not to thank them for sharing in your day.
Lil OC
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
I know lots of people talk about etiquette and how ppl are not obligated to give a gift, but I think that attending a wedding in NY, where weddings are astronomically expensive, and not giving a gift is ridiculous. Sorry, but if money was tight and I couldnt give anything, I wouldnt go to someone's wedding, but thats just me.
As far as your cousin who never RSVPed but came anyway and didnt gve anything or talk to you, I personally wouldnt give a thank you. If there is a 1 yr rule for sending a gift, then wait a yr to send the thank you.
iHeartMoogle
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
I know that was horribly rude of him, but technically since you're throwing the party, you're supposed to go say hi to all of the guests. This isn't how most people actually act; most guests wind up going up to the bride and groom to congratulate them. But that's why you and your husband are supposed to go around to each of the tables, to thank the guests for coming.
I think it's 'good wedding etiquette' to send a thank you card to everyone who showed up to a wedding.
HOWEVER...Personally, I wouldn't send a thank you card to someone who didn't give a gift UNLESS they really couldn't afford to give you a gift. I just can't bring myself to say thank you to someone who makes enough $$ to give a gift, yet comes to my wedding, eats the food, drinks the alcohol and gives nothing. Sorry.
Summertimegal424
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
send a thank you, its not about the gift at all, even thought its incredibly rude , its the right thing to do!
stinenandy2010
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
Posted by Summertimegal424
send a thank you, its not about the gift at all, even thought its incredibly rude , its the right thing to do!
ita....i sent a card to everyone, and actually after i sent the card, some of non-gift givers sent me a check.
RitasEngaged
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
i would still send them a thank you
grkbarbie
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
i wouldnt send them a thank you card
Future Mrs H
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
I would still send a 'Thank You for sharing our day' There are a couple of people I am inviting that I know wont be giving gifts but I am still inviting them anyway and will send them a Thank You.
GracieJMay2010
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
We are just back from the HM and are still waiting to see if some people will send a gift that didnt.
We didnt get gifts from 5 people. I will send them a very sparse card. 'We want to thank you for coming to our wedding and sharing our special day with us. It means a great deal to have you there.'
We are like so sincere that it was nice for people to come. But we also want the card to reflect (passive agressivly I guess) that they did not send/give a gift.
What else can you really do? I swear....
annnng
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
Posted by Lil OC
I know lots of people talk about etiquette and how ppl are not obligated to give a gift, but I think that attending a wedding in NY, where weddings are astronomically expensive, and not giving a gift is ridiculous. Sorry, but if money was tight and I couldnt give anything, I wouldnt go to someone's wedding, but thats just me.
As far as your cousin who never RSVPed but came anyway and didnt gve anything or talk to you, I personally wouldnt give a thank you. If there is a 1 yr rule for sending a gift, then wait a yr to send the thank you.
Couldnt have said it better
JayBee216
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
I know sometimes people send gifts after the wedding (like when they get their next paycheck or something) so maybe hold off a bit? There could be something on the way!
JoanneAndJustin
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Re: Question for girls who are already married
I will be sending a thank you to EVERYone. Sure, I'm slightly aggravated that they didn't give a gift, but some people are in awful circumstances (while some are just douche bags) and I'm glad they were able to make it. I was paying for the plates regardless, so why shouldn't they come?
