QUESTION FOR PREGGOS AND BTDT MOMS???

My GF was at my home recently and she said to me, you see the way you clean your house now, do you think you will be able to clean like that when the baby comes??? This is something I said I have to ask you ladies.

Did you all find it that there was not enough hours in the day to do your regular thing in the home??? Did your hubbies help??? What got placed on the back burner b/c of the baby. I was aking my GF how do you shower, how do you pee??? Just wanted to hear what you ladies found to be the case with everyone. To help prepare some of us soon to be preggo, those who are now preggo. How did you balance your life

I guess is my question. Did you have a lot of help from family or friends etc???

What would have made it easy, do you think anything could have prepared you? would anything have made it easier???

I am tired all the time
I still clean but he does more too
for example when the floor gets dirty
it can wait till the cows come home if I am tired lol so he has been taking up vacuuming

one of the most important things I learned is to sleep when the baby sleeps. At first, I couldn't get into this, I used that time to do the dishes, laundry, vacuum etc.... bUt by doing that I was letting my health go, so I learned to nap during the day. I also accepted help from whomever. True my DH and my Mom won't clean the way I am used to, but I will never complain about it.

I also had a lot of people bake things for us, that I just had to reheat which was a lifesaver.

oh, I forgot every sat and sunday, I call my mom and ask what she is having for dinner

WOW SHAMMA- you may not know it ..but this is a loaded question.

every BTDT mom I ask this of tells me you gotta prioritize or u r going to do crazy. u gotta decide WHICH things get cleaned, which chores really matter on a daily or weekly basis ..and what gets done maybe once every month or 2 months.

this is a big pet peeve of mine- and one I am currently working on..since I tend to be a bit of a clean freak..who hates clutter...and has a hubby who does not NOTICE anything clutter related.
he can step over piles of his stuff for months b4 doing anything (on his own). ANd casually mentioning it to him DOESNT CUT IT. I have to say- I need you to go through this pile of paper. First choice is to throw out as much as possible. what is left must be filed AWAY.

with some griping it gets done..but there is still more STUFF around than I would like

it is VERY TOUGH when the baby first comes home...esp in the case when it is your first..as you have a BIG ADJUSTMENT. now you have to PLAN when you are going to PEE..since you just cant put the baby on the floor, or on the sofa and run to the bathrm..but you know what YOU MAKE IT WORK. hee hee
( i have crossed my legs for an hour at times)

I am sure we all ask whomever we can to help us out with the cleaning chores. but the thing is EVERYONE has a busy life. MIL, SILs, friends, neighbors will help out ...but in time, you are on your own. then the whole DECIDING your priorities kicks in

I actually made a list of cleaning chores..and asked rob to pick a good handful that he would feel comfortable doing on a regular basis..
either choose some buddy or budget a cleaning person coming in at least 2x/month.
it worked for like a month. Then he was clobbered at work with an audit, we drive to fla for xmas, we went on a cruise in Jan...so it kinda fell by the wayside

time for me to remind him I guess.

The thing that burns me is WHY DO WE HAVE TO REMIND THEM?? sheesh

What I find is that I do laundry as soon as I feel I have enuf to do a load. I squeeze that in as dinner is made. My method is running from room to room cleaning up, straightening up...until I forget what ive started in any particular room, get frazzled, and then I usually have to take care of Julianne. It does not work that well for me.

I am trying to use my dishwasher more

and, rob is the MAN when it comes to cooking. He cooks 90% of our meals. now, if I can only get him to wash 90% of the pots/dishes...hee hee

I have started to consider finding out how much it would cost to have someone come in 2x/month for the major cleaning...and see if we can swing that somehow. I HATE doing that...we all have expenses..and I hate to add to it..but if it keeps MAMMA calm...everyone is happy

HTH

My husband helps me with a lot of things. He knows that the pregnancy makes it difficult for me to do a lot of things so he sometimes will do the shopping for me or he'll go with me.
He'll vaccuum for me sometimes, he takes out all the garbage and recyclables, he'll do some laundry and lots of other things that I can't do right now (clean litter box,etc.)
I told him that I should cook a bunch of meals before my EDD because I heard that I won't have time to cook when the baby arrives.
He told me not to worry. He will do the cooking for me. He's so great.

phyl, now that is what I call a picture of a busy mommy. WOW, that is what you call reality. Am I ready or aren't I. Thank goodness Roger is helpful, he better stay this way. I am happy my mother (both of them and my aunt and other friends and family is close by. You really do need all the help you can get especially when you are a new mother and learning all the juggling. WOW.

All I can say is Thank God for support .

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Posted by NovemberSue

My husband helps me with a lot of things. He knows that the pregnancy makes it difficult for me to do a lot of things so he sometimes will do the shopping for me or he'll go with me.
He'll vaccuum for me sometimes, he takes out all the garbage and recyclables, he'll do some laundry and lots of other things that I can't do right now (clean litter box,etc.)
I told him that I should cook a bunch of meals before my EDD because I heard that I won't have time to cook when the baby arrives.
He told me not to worry. He will do the cooking for me. He's so great.

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Now that's a man after my own heart. I can see Roger getting his sisters to cook meals at a time for us

Shamma, my DH is extremely neat. He likes the house vacuumed like 4 times a week. (Maybe because we have two cats.)
He's going to be thrilled when I get to my nesting phase.(In pregnancy, the books say that many women go through a nesting phase in their last trimester where they go on a cleaning frenzy.)

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Posted by NovemberSue

My husband helps me with a lot of things. He knows that the pregnancy makes it difficult for me to do a lot of things so he sometimes will do the shopping for me or he'll go with me.
He'll vaccuum for me sometimes, he takes out all the garbage and recyclables, he'll do some laundry and lots of other things that I can't do right now (clean litter box,etc.)
I told him that I should cook a bunch of meals before my EDD because I heard that I won't have time to cook when the baby arrives.
He told me not to worry. He will do the cooking for me. He's so great.

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Thats so wonderful! Sounds exactly like what my DH will do! Heck he does this for me now

I already feel myself letting some things slide that I used to do on a normal basis, such a swiffering the hardwood floors and mopping the bathroom floors each weekend. I still cook every night after working a full day. DH works a later shift than me, so I can't really depend on him to help out with dinner, unless I can wait until 10 p.m.

I also still do the grocery shopping, but I think DH has seen how hard it is to pack all the bags in the car, and then carry them all in and put them away. So he's offered to help me if I'll wait and do the shopping with him late at night. I'm taking him up on that!

Oh, and I'll still do the laundry. I'm just too anal about letting him do it! Maybe I'll change my thoughts once baby is here!

I am hoping to be able to stay at home after the baby is born and I'm really nervous that DH will think since I am not working, that the house stuff will take care of itself. I hope he realizes that the baby will be more demanding that working 9-5, IMO.

shamma, allow me to respond as i type with one hand...

It is a huge adjustment for anyone used to keeping things neat around the house. I do everything w. one hand. Feeding animals, laundry, ironing, cat litter, dishwasher, peeing, emptying garbages, etc.....My method is just to move thru each room slowly and straighten until it's clean. The process takes all day with taking care of the baby's needs. My husband has been cooking but although he enjoys it I know it is only until the weather is better and I can take the baby out to the market and so on.

When we wind down after dinner, he holds her and I speed thru the dishes, move the laundry, deal w. the animals, take a shower - all in time for a feeding! My DH is somewhat helpful overall...but he's not winning any awards if you catch my drift.... He's got about a half hour in him and Lord forbid if she starts crying - he's right at my doorstep saying - What is wrong with her? Like I did something to her while he was out to make her cry starting at eight o-clock....

There are MANY days where I am trudging up the stairs w. the baby over my one arm and dragging the laundry wrapped in a sheet and I think - THIS I did NOT sign on for. It's hard. There is not even enough time to freaking moisturize.

Sorry for venting! Today is a rough day in particular! I am getting better at the day to day - but the adjustment is huge, and yes you do have to let some things go as there are just not enough hours in the day.

I had my mom come a couple of days - but she lives in Cape Cod, so our time is limited. There isnt' really anybody else around to stay and help - consider yourself lucky ifyou have close family around and take them up on any aid they should offer!

Well as of right now, DH has been really picking up alot of extra work around the house. Alot like how the other ladies described... carrying my packages and unloading the car, making dinner, cleaning the oven, will not let me carry a laundry basket, etc... most of it I try to tell him I can do, but he does it anyway.

After the baby is here, I am sure he will continue to do all he can. We try to keep a neat house all the time, but I don't think it will bother me that I can't clean the kitchen floor or scrub the toilet as much as I want to. It'll get done eventually, I suppose.

Although, am I being naive to think that I will be able to use the bathroom whenever I need to go?? I just don't get this? Can't you take the baby into the BR with you? Or take the monitor? Really, I don't spend much time in there.... tell me its not true. Thank you!

I'm finding it very hard to let alot of things go. Husband 'stole'all of my cleaning stuff, so I've been reduced to non-ammonia cleaners and basic diluted soap and water that I have to hide on him. He knows I'm a freak with Clorox and stuff.

But there are some days where I look at the slop and say 'ah, the hell with it, it'll be there next weekend'. I was never like that. Even when I lived at home - you could eat off the floors in my area of the house.

It's also hard to keep things clean with the dogs/cat and the darn weather. Snow splatterings all over the foyer floor and God forbid the doggies step in something fresh in the yard I'm VERY grateful we have tile in the foyer. Now when they come in - I have them trained to head right into the bathroom (right by the back door) for a tush/feet exam and I keep ALOT of baby wipes on hand

I didn't have much help when Lyla was born, and we also just moved in, so our situation was unique. However, many women who do too much even before they are pregnant have a hard time adjusting. When you're nursing, you are sitting ALOT and you're tied down. Unless you want to walk around and do things with one hand (which I did plenty of too), you have to lower your expectations of what the house should look like or else you will be overwhelmed and stressed.

When my husband comes home, I do not want him to cook or clean. I'd rather have him take care of Lyla while I do things that I've been waiting to do all day. She needs lots of entertaining, so he can do that while I make dinner, load the dishwasher, fold laundry. I was always able to take a shower with her, I used to bring the bouncy seat all the way into the bathroom.

To answer your question about what would make it easy, I guess if I had a cook and a cleaning person come here everyday it would be nice! On the other hand, I like ot cook and clean and organize, so if I had someone to help with Lyla more during the day, than I would be able to do other things.

the bathroom ends up getting really hard for some reason Kate, I don't really know why! i guess in my case, my baby just screams bloody murder the second I put her down and the trip to the bathroom just seems unbearable. I usually take her with me and just do a onehanded pee. VERY difficult. But worth not waking her from a cradled slumber!

Lauren that is EXACTLY my husband - gets away with maybe one diaper change a day, and one supplemental formula feeding. He has no idea how many times I do that - and all the stuff that goes into getting it done! Like - where did the new diapers come from, how are the bottles sterilized, why are there clean washcloths and how did they get there?

Anyone else would like to add to this lovely picture, this is reality and I guess I have to be thankful when I read this for family and willing family.

You ladies are wonderful, I guess like they say, you do what you have to do. You all get round and rounds of applause. You go girls.

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Posted by jenny11.9

the bathroom ends up getting really hard for some reason Kate, I don't really know why! i guess in my case, my baby just screams bloody murder the second I put her down and the trip to the bathroom just seems unbearable. I usually take her with me and just do a onehanded pee. VERY difficult. But worth not waking her from a cradled slumber!

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I have to laugh because I am the queen of the one handed pee. My poor son will probably be in therapy one day because of this and my bringing him into the bathroom when I take a shower. The poor kid is going to be tramatized


Steve was already a great cleaner before Damien. He also started doing the food shopping when I was preggo and likes it so much he still wants to do it. We take turns with dinner depending on if Damien is nursing at the time. You do have to let things go. We live in an apt in my sister's house so if I get overwhelmed with laundry she will do a couple loads for me.

Steve also will hand Damien over as soon as he startscrying and says he wants you. But if have Damien and I can't get him to stop crying he will take him and calm him down. Now if I could only get him to change more diapers