question for the Catholic mommies....

I have a kind of difficult decision to make that is going to apply for a few years of course, but we need to start thinking about.

We have a great house in a great neighborhood. We sort of inherited it and are going to be buying it officially for significantly less than what it's worth. We are planning to put an addition on next year that will add bedrooms upstairs, make the kitchen bigger, etc. We decided on this after we looked at other homes in our area and surrounding, and found that the homes start at around $750,000 for much less than what we have now. We have updated our home over 8 years, doing the work ourselves and have much more than these other places have.

All that said (sorry for the long post). Our school system is not very good. Now I don't really know what that means, but it rates kind of low, average in testing, etc. Compared to other schools in surrounding areas, it really pales in comparison. But we can't afford to move any time soon, and need to stay where we are because of our business.

There is the option of course of Catholic school. I didn't go as a child and I just don't know how I feel about it. I am not an extremely devout Catholic and quite honestly have some major problems with some of the teachings. I just don't know what kind of education and guidance a child gets in this type of environment. Any opinions? Experiences? Regrets? Pros/Cons?

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I went to Catholic school for many years and then my family moved and I went to public school.
I always liked going to Catholic school. If its affordable for you, then I think its a great idea.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

Dh and I discuss this all the time-- we both went to catholic grammar and high school ( I started in 3rd greade--my choice--none of my 3 older brothers went though)
For me, yes by 2nd grade I was bored at public school--it wasn't challenging enough for me and no I am not some kind of braniac but could remember finishing my work and helping the slower kids, etc

So with that being said I stayed with catholic schools and wouldnt have changed it for the world--during grammar school I felt it kept me connected to a community- it followed a similar 'discipline' pattern that we had at home (more at school than at home) There wasnt as much money in catholic schools (and some will argue that there still is not) but by high school there was (hence the reason why tuition is astronomical) but IMO worth every penny--

For our kids we know that we want to send them to catholic school and we hope that we can afford it--the reason why it comes up all the time is we live in a town with 2 large catholic churches and both have schools!!! SO we havent figured out which to join (ie which is better)

Jenny--Dh went to catholic school in Pal Park (St michael's) and then on to BC--

My only caution don't do ALL boy/all girl-- I have noticed by many guy friends and Dh that for guys they need that socialization in high school-- I am sure others have opinions that completely counter my own but such is life

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

MY friend & I were discussing it just last week. WE liked catholic school because it was sort of a family.
The teachers/princapals were all on top of things. It wasn't over crowded in the slightest.
So you don't get 'lost in the crowd'
We also liked the fact that we didn't have to 'dress to impress' Everyone looked the same. It was none of this 'Oh you don't have this or that' We all wore the same darn thing! (she has 4 kids & not alot of income & her daughter occasionally gets picked on because of it. It's hearbreaking)

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

great responses...keep em coming please!

Now this is REALLY naiive, but how much does Catholic school cost? Does anybody have any idea?

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

Claud went to Catholic school and so did her brother so you might want to speak with her.
I know that the school costs about $3K, at least, around here.
I think you can also look into private schools, but those cost even more $$.
I am going to make this decision when the time comes. School ratings change every few years.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

Jenny .... I will send you fm. This is a pretty impt decision to make!

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

Jenny I went to Cathloic school almost my whole life.

Kindergarten to 10th grade, then I switched to a diff HS (public)

I feel Catholic school may be a wonderful option for you!

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I'm a public school girl and DH went to Catholic school up until the 4th grade.

I personally wouldn't send my child to a catholic school... I think they get a more diversified education in public school.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I am a gradutae of catholic school and I can honestly say I wouldnt send my kids Anywhere else besides catholic school, i think its worth the money because of the dicipline and the community aspect.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I'm not a mom yet, but we have discussed this issue many times, as I am a Catholic school girl from K through college and my DH was all public schools. I think it is a very personal decision, but one that is very important.

We have decided that if we are blessed with children, we are going to send them to Catholic school. It does incur a cost that will more than likely be a sacrifice, however, as someone else pointed out, we believe the discipline and feeling of family is very important and I want my children to grow up in that atmosphere.

It was a very difficult decision for my hubby to accept, after all he is a fine product of the public school system But as we have gotten closer to friends who are already putting children into school, he is able to see a difference and the decision has already been made for us.

Good Luck on your decisions....

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I went to Catholic school for K-12, and I absolutely loved it and always did very well in the environment. I also liked not having to 'dress to impress' - but, the uniform thing caused a lot of stress in my life whenever I had to go somewhere that wasn't school!

However, aside from this decision being a personal one for the parents - I suggest that you also make this decision based upon your child's personality, too. Being in an environment with strict discipline and rigid personalities is not for every child. In some cases it can do more harm than good in terms of the child's willingness to conform and blossom socially, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally.

We are still undecided about where Paul will attend school.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I didnt read everyone responses, but this is my opinion.

If you can afford it and think its the best decision for your famiy, go for it.

I have had friends and family going to CAtholic school while my siblings and I went to public school. With no offense to ANY of them, we were always ahead of them in everything as far as what text books we used, what books we were reading, what we were up to. Maybe because we were in the 'nerds' class (We skipped a grade ) Maybe it was just certain circumstances or certain classes we discussed but I never remember disliking public school (LOVED IT!!!) or seeing that Catholic school was ANY benefit whatsoever. (again no offense). I think if you have a 'learner' on your hands, they will learn in any environment. They will absorb info, want more, and thrive in any environment. Alot of times (in both public and catholic schools) 'I think' students are put in classes that are too 'slow' for them and they are bored. There should be teachers and administratoris that can catch this and put them in the class/environment thats right for them. I think many of us that went to public schools came out with great careers and 'success stories'... and I know there are 'good and bad' everywhere, but I think public school was just fine for us.

and now that we are in an excellent school district, I cant WAIT to send them to our public school system.

Also, why do Catholic schools charge SO MUCH and pay their teachers SO LITTLE ???
Thats another thing I REFUSE to 'support'

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

Also, might I add
A good CHUNK of our taxes are for the school district, and we paid/bought the home here, to BE in this SD, so we are absolutely taking advantage of it.

Im a 'public school' advocate, so I can go on and on here...

Sorry Jenny, I didnt answer your question specifically. (my babbling tangents. ) Again, I think if you feel you dont have great public schools around you, you should definately look into Catholic and private schools.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I went to Catholic school from Kindergarden to 8th grade. Then I went to Public school for high school. To tell you the truth I likedCatholic school better. I personally thought that I was more challenged in CS than when I went to PS.

Hubby went to CS all his life and agrees with me on the differences.
We have talked about this for when we have kids in the future and if we have the resources at the time we will put our kids in CS.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I'm the opposite of Latina ... I preferred my public education. I went to Catholic school from K-8 and agree with Anna. I think there are more programs and more $ spending per pupil in puplic school. I also think the teachers (being paid higher) tend to be better in the public school system.

However, I did enjoy my Catholic school experience. There was a sense of 'family unity' and you pretty much had the same friends in your class each year.

We live in an average school district right now - we do intend to move 'up' before our kids start school since I would love to take advantage of the great LI school system (unfortuantely my school of choice is not affordable just yet). It's a personal choice and each person's viewpoint on this subject can be completely different.

I also am speaking on behalf of my Catholic school and the schools in LI. I really don't know how NJ's school system is and perhaps the Catholic school near you is fantastic.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

I went from Kindergarden to College!!! I really liked it and I am glad looking back that I did. Sometimes I was jealous of the public school kids because they got to wear regular clothes, lol - but that saves Mom & Dad $$ bc in catholic school you wear a uniform. It was much more of a 'family' atmosphere. I would recommend it if you are not crazy about the public schools.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

You can have a 'learner' on your hands but in a non-productive school enviroment you cannot always foster that. You need to decide based on the school system at the time your child enters school.
I have know MANY kids, including my little brother, who went to a Catholic Prep School and with a 78 being a failing grade trust me, it was NOT the same as the public school I went to. The classes were more advanced in general because the school catered to a higher educational standard.
I went to public school and did just fine (A/B student) so I am not saying either way is better, they are just different in many ways.
And Catholic Schools do NOT get our tax dollars which is why they cost so much money.
It is really a family decision that should be made when your child is ready to enter school IMO.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

Not a mommy but i have been to both Catholic and public schools so i wanted to comment:

a) I am not religious at all. I have major issues with Catholism but also organized religion in general that I wont go into here...but my point is that unless you are brainwashing your child at home, the religious teachings dont make much of an effect unless the child is open to such a thing.

b) The resources at catholic schools (computers, books, etc..) are much, much worse than in public schools. Its simply a matter of funding.

c) The teachers in Catholic schools get paid much less. But much to my surprise, are as good if not better than public b/c the bulk of them teach b/c they love it and are dedicated - not for the money. Most of them teach as a second income and are not moving to the public school system b/c the money is not the priority for them.

d) Some catholic schools make young children attend church services. Even if you explain to the school that you are not overtly relious (which is allowed by the way - there was always at least a few non catholics in my schools) it puts the child in an awkward position if you do go to mass on Sundays.

e) Its expenisve - not only tuition but fundraising things that you must participate in, uniforms, etc.

f) The cirriculmn in Catholic schools is usually not quite as good as in Public schools (see funding issue above) but b/c the children do not have the same sorts of behavioral issues - the message gets thru more clearly.

g) there is more of a parent/child community at catholic schools. Due to the funding issues, parents tend to be much more involved in teh everyday running of the xtracirrular activities as well as day to day running of the school. As a result, there is a closer relationship btwn the faculty and the familes at most catholic schools.

Wow - sorry this is so long. Anyway - there are pro/cons to each. My suggestion is that unless the elementary schools are really aweful, public elementary school is usually on par when you balance the issues with catholic. But once the children get older (and the behavior/violence issues get added into the mix) its probably time to move them to private/catholic school.

I went to a catholic all girls high school and think that was an excellent experience. Really defined my academic career.

Re: question for the Catholic mommies....

Al went to catholic school and I went to public schools. If we both went to public schools we would have been on the same bus! As it was, we didn't meet until I was 18.

Anyway, I have mixed feelings on the subject. I was in the of the best school districts on Long Island (Commack), so I feel like I got a pretty good education. But I also never had to try very hard in school. The good grades came easily and I'd learn enough to ace the tests and move on.

Al has a fascination with learning - he can't get enough of it. And he'll remember odd equations or physics formulas, but not remember what we did last week (infuriating).

I think if we can afford it, Al would prefer we send our kids to catholic/private school. I'm not sure I see the advantage, but I don't see it as a disadvantage either.

I also went to a SUNY university and he went ivy league to undergrad and grad school, so he's clearly more willing to PAY the big bucks for the education (though now we're stuck with his student loans )

I think a lot of it will depend on where we end up and what the schools are like. Did I answer the question at all or just ramble on?