Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
nrvbrd
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Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
Hi.
I was having lunch with a friend of mine and I was telling him that my cousin is turning 40. He said it is a shame that she never had kids, she is going to grow old and lonely. I was annoyed hearing that.
First let me say I do intend to have kids eventually I am in no rush, nor have I ever been. My cousin is not married and never really had an overwhelming desire to have kids.
I have noticed on this board there are alot of career oriented, successful, cultured, well travelled, intelligent woman on this board, now if you did not have any children would you still feel like less of a woman- incomplete?
Stacey1403
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
Of course my life wouldn't be complete because he is already here and I love him so much!!! I don't think one Mommy could answer this question without a resounding YES!!!!!
brideinapril
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
I think thats a personal choice, I have a child, he'll be 6. At the time that I got preggo, it was a shock and total surprise. However now that I have him, he is my world. I had know idea I was missing anything in my life until I had him. I can't imagine my life without him in it. However I have friends who don't have kids, nor do they want them and they are very happy. To each his/her own.
michele31
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
Motherhood is not for everyone and I have A LOT of respect for women who don't want child and don't give in to the social pressure or expectation that they have them.
For me, yes..my life would not be complete if I didn't have a child. I have known that for a long time. I knew that if I couldn't have a child naturally, that I would adopt one.
But my mother has a cousin who is married and they never have children. Her life is NOT incomplete, and she has said that before. She has neices and nephews that she loves very much. She is a professor. Her and her husband travel often. I don't call that an incompete life. I think women who don't want children but feel that they 'have' to have them are unhappy and not very good mothers.
shamma
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
There are more ways than one to be a mother to a child so IMO I don't think my life would be incomplete if I couldn't. I don't think it is necessarily in every woman's lot to be a mother naturally. They have nieces and nephews that they mother so I think it is an individual thing.
JennRenee
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
I was complete as a person before Nicolas was born. He just added a new and wonderful dimension to my life.
NuBride
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
How can you answer a question like that when this person is not a Mother...she has nothing to compare it to so her life to me would be the same.
I'm glad I have a child but if I chose not to have children I would never know...Hope you understand what I'm saying..,it's almost like asking someone if they would feel they were the same person if they changed the color of their skin.
You just would NOT know and if you didn't get a chance to know the difference then in my opinion you wouldn't be missing anything, therefore you life would be just as complete with or without children.
Confused yet??
nrvbrd
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
I guess how I should have positioned this question was more of like-
Are you less of a woman because you do not have a child? Like no matter how much you have accomplished, it really means nothing because you did not have a child?
jenny11.9
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
Posted by nrvbrd
I guess how I should have positioned this question was more of like-
Are you less of a woman because you do not have a child? Like no matter how much you have accomplished, it really means nothing because you did not have a child?
NO WAY! I definitely felt like I was headed for lots of accomplishments in my life, and was fully prepared to pursue dreams and goals with or without children. Honestly, my husband and I were never dead set on having a family. When Sophia was conceived we welcomed it with open arms, and agreed to share all our love with her, yet make every effort to continue on our paths that we had set out on before. Of course, things have changed drastically since she came, but we have all intentions of keeping those goals alive. I honestly can see that I would have continued happily on without being a mommy. my most important relationship was the one with my husband and that was very fulfilling on it's own.
BUT I LOVE MY PHIA!!!!!!!!!! And she has made me a better person already....
NuBride
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
I guess I can't answer that because I do have a child, but I don't think NOT being a Mommy makes you less of a woman in anyway.
'I am woman hear me roar'
anna
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
I couldnt have EVER imagined or dreamt of my life, the road ahead, WITHOUT children being part of those thoughts...
I can ramble on and on (as you all WELL know )
But those are my feelings, brief and to the point.
They ABSOLUTELY make life complete for me.
and I would have said these same words 10 years ago...
ChristineC68
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
Posted by nrvbrd
I guess how I should have positioned this question was more of like-
Are you less of a woman because you do not have a child? Like no matter how much you have accomplished, it really means nothing because you did not have a child?
I sure hope not!
I don't have children nor do I plan to but my life certainly has meaning. I have a wonderful life with my DH and while I am sure if decided to have children it would be wonderful, in no way do I think my life is incomplete without them.
But this is coming from someone who is choosing not to have children. I imagine I would have different answer if I couldn't have children.
MichelleW
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
Posted by JennRenee
I was complete as a person before Nicolas was born. He just added a new and wonderful dimension to my life.
Beautifully said and I couldn't agree more about Brandon
BriarRose
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
I def think that my life would still be complete even if I did not have Geno. But I'm glad that I do. I do not think that children are the end all be all for all women. I have a friend that does not intend to ever have children and I think she's an amazing woman. Her life will be filled with all kinds of love and amazing memories regardless of her desire not to have children.
ILT1221
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
To answer your question of course it does not make you less than a woman if you don't have a child. That's someone's personal choice.
My cousin is 35 and she gets nasty comments all the time b/c she is not married nor has any kids. People are just silly.
anna
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
Posted by MichelleW
Posted by JennRenee
I was complete as a person before Nicolas was born. He just added a new and wonderful dimension to my life.
Beautifully said and I couldn't agree more about Brandon
I Agree.
and I also agree that that was SOO BEAUTIFULLY SAID, Jenn
I also want to say that I dont think anyone should feel less of a woman or incomplete as a person. My feelings are my own, and my own only.
Claud2001
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
Posted by JennRenee
I was complete as a person before Nicolas was born. He just added a new and wonderful dimension to my life.
This is such a perfect way of expressing it! I feel the same way about Paul!
But I will say, that I was not always absolutely certain that I needed a child in my future UNTIL I fell in love with Jeff. For some reason, my vision of the 'future' crystalized in a much more powerful way when I met my hubby...before him, I was never able to picture my life with children....but, when he came into my life, not only could I imagine children - I could vividly picture what they would look like!
LadyPrincess
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Re: Question for you mommies- Would your life be incomplete if you did not have children?
NO - i am fulfilled within myself, my accomplishments & finally marrying my soulmate
