QUESTION OF THE DAY (TAKEN FROM Z100)

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Posted by jessNsteve

I think i would have told my dh. Not right away but down the line. I think honesty is very important in all aspects and obviously I would have to word as not to hurt his feelings. But I know my dh and with the amount of money he spent on a ring he would want me to love it and have it be my style so if it wasnt he would appreciate my honesty i think

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I totally agree! I couldn't possibly not tell him...BUT I would never say I HATED it.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by SFBride2Be

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Posted by Espo22

was talking about this recently, someone brought this up bc of someone they know.

I dont think i would be able to say anything. No matter what this is the ring he proposed with and have sentimental value bc of that. Why does she hate her ring? is it bc of the style of the ring or the size? if its the size then i really hope she doesnt say anything. If its a style you really dont like, again its very hard but a bit better than complaining about size.

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I agree with you...

if it's the size of the diamond - then definitely not - that's not ok.

but if it was the style of the ring that didn't suit me then I would definitely say something - I'm sure he would want me happy and for me to say something rather than hate it!

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exactly! i dont get the whole complaining about the size, i mean if somebody went to their fh and said i want a bigger diamond, dont they think maybe he cant afford it. So i dont see the point of doing this. Everyone has different financial situations and financial responsibilities, somebody can make more but have more expenses. You cant force somebody to spend more than they can. If it bothers you that much, wait a few years to get an upgrade

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my FH wanted to get me a certain size ring - so he waited to propose until he was able to afford what he wanted to get me - that was what he wanted to do, i had nothing to do with ring shopping - i just said i want this shape, i like solitaire and i like silver metals and he went nuts with looking for the right diamond, the right jeweler, the right setting - i love my ring - and i love that he did that for me - all the saving, the research, all the leg work - he really cared about it and he worked really hard for it - and that means more than the actual ring itself - he didnt want to just propose with any ring - he wanted the ring to blow me away and he is a perfectionist and he wanted to get me something that i thought was perfect - thats just my FHs personality - and its one of the reasons i love him so much - he wanted me to have the best he could get/afford even if that meant working really hard for it - and that makes me feel good that he thinks i deserve that....if he wasnt that type of guy i wouldnt be marrying him

Hmm. that is a hard one. I think if I absolutely hated it, I'd tell him. But I would be as nice as I possibly could about it. Maybe saying, we'll keep all the stones, let's just re-do the band together.


There was one girl who said she told her FH she wanted a bigger stone, I think THAT is ballsy

I don't think I could ever hate something so symbolic. Maybe in the future I would want another everyday ring, but I don't think anything could ever replace the original engagement ring and what it means. Im a very sentimental person though.

ETA: I LOVE my ring and would never need a replacement. But I meant this as IF I were in that situation. But I am not.

i don't think i would hate the ring.. i mean he proposed with it right.. but if i couldn't even stand the sight of it, i would suggest it i guess.. DH would probably be a bit upset.. and if its the size, maybe she can get a bigger stone for an anniversary or something.. don''t know..

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Posted by davenjess

here's my take on this - and i know most people won't agree...

if you are being asked for your hand in marriage...it is assumed (except in some cases) that you and your 'other' know each other VERY, VERY well.

if the ring he gives you is not what you wanted/expected and it's NOT okay...maybe you need to check your priorities. The ring is not a piece of exchangable jewelery ...it represents his committment to you & your future.

Dave & I were together for 5 years before he proposed and I had shown him many examples of what i loved (i wanted nothing more than ONE diamond, nothing else). When he presented me with what he got for me, i WEPT. Is it what i had shown him? No, it was more beautiful than any ring I had ever seen. If i had the choice to pick from every ring in the world, I would've picked this one.

For me - it's not just a ring...it's his promise, his word...and it could've been a ring pop for all I cared. Knowing he was ready for that step, and wanted to take it with me, is all I needed.

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very well said..I agree

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by SFBride2Be

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Posted by Espo22

was talking about this recently, someone brought this up bc of someone they know.

I dont think i would be able to say anything. No matter what this is the ring he proposed with and have sentimental value bc of that. Why does she hate her ring? is it bc of the style of the ring or the size? if its the size then i really hope she doesnt say anything. If its a style you really dont like, again its very hard but a bit better than complaining about size.

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I agree with you...

if it's the size of the diamond - then definitely not - that's not ok.

but if it was the style of the ring that didn't suit me then I would definitely say something - I'm sure he would want me happy and for me to say something rather than hate it!

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exactly! i dont get the whole complaining about the size, i mean if somebody went to their fh and said i want a bigger diamond, dont they think maybe he cant afford it. So i dont see the point of doing this. Everyone has different financial situations and financial responsibilities, somebody can make more but have more expenses. You cant force somebody to spend more than they can. If it bothers you that much, wait a few years to get an upgrade

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my FH wanted to get me a certain size ring - so he waited to propose until he was able to afford what he wanted to get me - that was what he wanted to do, i had nothing to do with ring shopping - i just said i want this shape, i like solitaire and i like silver metals and he went nuts with looking for the right diamond, the right jeweler, the right setting - i love my ring - and i love that he did that for me - all the saving, the research, all the leg work - he really cared about it and he worked really hard for it - and that means more than the actual ring itself - he didnt want to just propose with any ring - he wanted the ring to blow me away and he is a perfectionist and he wanted to get me something that i thought was perfect - thats just my FHs personality - and its one of the reasons i love him so much - he wanted me to have the best he could get/afford even if that meant working really hard for it - and that makes me feel good that he thinks i deserve that....if he wasnt that type of guy i wouldnt be marrying him

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i think i made it hard for DH...he asked me but i told him to stop asking me i dont want to know all i said is dont go crazy spending more than you could afford. Finally he said hes going crazy, theres so many settings, so i said 2 things i dont like as far as style and anything else would be fine. I said to pick the ring that he sees stands out to him and thinks 'thats the one' i wanted him to completely do this on his own, i actually didnt even want to know he was looking, when he told me i was like 'WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME?' i know i was taking a chance by saying i wanted him to pick a ring he loved, but i never even had an idea in my head of what i ever wanted, just never thought about it lol. There were 2 styles i wasnt crazy about but i know ppl who know the exact cut and everything they want, i was like i dont know havent thought about it, just that i would prefer something simple and classic i guess, i think at first he was thinking of doing 3 stones but i said to just do 1.