QUESTION OF THE DAY (TAKEN FROM Z100)

A girl wrote in saying she got engaged but HATED HER E RING!!! She asked if she should tell her FH???

If you hated your ering..would you say anything to FH???

was talking about this recently, someone brought this up bc of someone they know.

I dont think i would be able to say anything. No matter what this is the ring he proposed with and have sentimental value bc of that. Why does she hate her ring? is it bc of the style of the ring or the size? if its the size then i really hope she doesnt say anything. If its a style you really dont like, again its very hard but a bit better than complaining about size.

i dont think i would tell FH i dont liek the ring. but i think i would say something like, let's change the band or the main stone whatever it was that was really bugging me.

he would want me to be happy and wear my ring proudly so i think it would hurt to hear that i didnt like it, but he would feel better giving me a ring i love.

good thing i love my ring!!!

my FH would never get me something i didnt like - b/c he knows what i like, he has great taste and he picked out something that he knew i would love b/c he listened to me when i described it if he gave me a totally different ring say a princess cut with a pave band i would be pissed b/c that would mean that we have a serious communication problem - it wouldnt be about the ring, it would be because he doesnt know me and doesnt listen to me - its like why ask if you arent going to even think about what i like KWIM?

but if he proposed before we ever talked about ring styles and stuff like that and it wasnt what i liked that might be different since it was a total surprise, out of left field kind of thing and if it was never discussed you cant be mad...but i still think someone should know you well enough to pick out something you will love

here's my take on this - and i know most people won't agree...

if you are being asked for your hand in marriage...it is assumed (except in some cases) that you and your 'other' know each other VERY, VERY well.

if the ring he gives you is not what you wanted/expected and it's NOT okay...maybe you need to check your priorities. The ring is not a piece of exchangable jewelery ...it represents his committment to you & your future.

Dave & I were together for 5 years before he proposed and I had shown him many examples of what i loved (i wanted nothing more than ONE diamond, nothing else). When he presented me with what he got for me, i WEPT. Is it what i had shown him? No, it was more beautiful than any ring I had ever seen. If i had the choice to pick from every ring in the world, I would've picked this one.

For me - it's not just a ring...it's his promise, his word...and it could've been a ring pop for all I cared. Knowing he was ready for that step, and wanted to take it with me, is all I needed.

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Posted by Espo22

was talking about this recently, someone brought this up bc of someone they know.

I dont think i would be able to say anything. No matter what this is the ring he proposed with and have sentimental value bc of that. Why does she hate her ring? is it bc of the style of the ring or the size? if its the size then i really hope she doesnt say anything. If its a style you really dont like, again its very hard but a bit better than complaining about size.

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I agree with you...

if it's the size of the diamond - then definitely not - that's not ok.

but if it was the style of the ring that didn't suit me then I would definitely say something - I'm sure he would want me happy and for me to say something rather than hate it!

Thats a tough one. I had no input in my ring- FH wanted to do that on his own. I was really shocked when I saw it. I told him that if I went with him- I probably would've saved him some money...

I love my ring!

Heck no.

I would never do that....

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Posted by Future Mulligan

my FH would never get me something i didnt like - b/c he knows what i like, he has great taste and he picked out something that he knew i would love b/c he listened to me when i described it if he gave me a totally different ring say a princess cut with a pave band i would be pissed b/c that would mean that we have a serious communication problem - it wouldnt be about the ring, it would be because he doesnt know me and doesnt listen to me - its like why ask if you arent going to even think about what i like KWIM?

but if he proposed before we ever talked about ring styles and stuff like that and it wasnt what i liked that might be different since it was a total surprise, out of left field kind of thing and if it was never discussed you cant be mad...but i still think someone should know you well enough to pick out something you will love

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I know exactly what ur saying!! Well put

With me I made sure I told my FSIL and my friends what I liked b/c I knew he was going to ask their advise.

I just wanted one solitaire diamond....he picked out a beautiful ring.. He said if he hadn't talked to his sister in law he would have bought me a superman ring or something!!!
He was glad I told her what I liked.

I thought most girls did that...

But if he got me something too small.. I would never say anything..Im not flashy and it's what he could afford if that were the case.

If it were a bad style...setting..I'd leave it a lone and ask for an 'upgrade on five year anniversary..keep the diamond and enhance the setting if it were that bad and bothered me that much.

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Posted by SFBride2Be

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Posted by Espo22

was talking about this recently, someone brought this up bc of someone they know.

I dont think i would be able to say anything. No matter what this is the ring he proposed with and have sentimental value bc of that. Why does she hate her ring? is it bc of the style of the ring or the size? if its the size then i really hope she doesnt say anything. If its a style you really dont like, again its very hard but a bit better than complaining about size.

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I agree with you...

if it's the size of the diamond - then definitely not - that's not ok.

but if it was the style of the ring that didn't suit me then I would definitely say something - I'm sure he would want me happy and for me to say something rather than hate it!

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exactly! i dont get the whole complaining about the size, i mean if somebody went to their fh and said i want a bigger diamond, dont they think maybe he cant afford it. So i dont see the point of doing this. Everyone has different financial situations and financial responsibilities, somebody can make more but have more expenses. You cant force somebody to spend more than they can. If it bothers you that much, wait a few years to get an upgrade

FH and I chose my engagment ring together but then it was changed by outside sources.

I was not happy with the ring and told FH so I was given a new one!

One of my friends proposed to his now wife, with a 2 carat princess cut, with emerald bagettes. He loves the color green and thought it would be nice to incorporate it into the ring. They dated for over 8 years when he proposed, so you would think he knew her well enough to get her a ring with emeralds.. I thought the ring was very unique and fit their personalities...
She ended up not liking the emeralds, made him take it BACK to the jeweler and take the emeralds out and add diamonds..

We were all shocked!

see i have mixed feelings....i agree with Denise but for more reasons as well.

i would never trade my ring in, it's the ring Fh proposed with and it has such sentimental value- he picked it out all by himself and saved up for it and surprised me. and it may not suit other people but I love it!!! Plus the fact that I didnt need to say anything about what type of ring I wanted and he was able to pick out a ring i love means he does really know me that well and that he didn't even have to get hints which is cute to me because it means he understands me and knows me without even having to communicate it!!

And even if I didn't I would never say anything because to me the ring doesnt mean committment or a promise etc. It is just an added bonus in my opinion. FH didn't have to give me a ring to say he wanted to be committed to me for the rest of our lives or that he loves me endlessly. I would have married him even if he didn't give me a ring or couldn't afford a wedding. I love him and without the ring I wouldn't love him less. So yes it does have sentimental value but I don't think of it as I have to wear this ring for the rest of my life so I should and better love it. That is just my opinion though! I don't get caught up in the style, size, clarity I didn't know any of that until after FH proposed and talked to me about his journey to find a ring hahaha

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Posted by Karen9508

One of my friends proposed to his now wife, with a 2 carat princess cut, with emerald bagettes. He loves the color green and thought it would be nice to incorporate it into the ring. They dated for over 8 years when he proposed, so you would think he knew her well enough to get her a ring with emeralds.. I thought the ring was very unique and fit their personalities...
She ended up not liking the emeralds, made him take it BACK to the jeweler and take the emeralds out and add diamonds..

We were all shocked!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by SFBride2Be

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Posted by Espo22

was talking about this recently, someone brought this up bc of someone they know.

I dont think i would be able to say anything. No matter what this is the ring he proposed with and have sentimental value bc of that. Why does she hate her ring? is it bc of the style of the ring or the size? if its the size then i really hope she doesnt say anything. If its a style you really dont like, again its very hard but a bit better than complaining about size.

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I agree with you...

if it's the size of the diamond - then definitely not - that's not ok.

but if it was the style of the ring that didn't suit me then I would definitely say something - I'm sure he would want me happy and for me to say something rather than hate it!

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exactly! i dont get the whole complaining about the size, i mean if somebody went to their fh and said i want a bigger diamond, dont they think maybe he cant afford it. So i dont see the point of doing this. Everyone has different financial situations and financial responsibilities, somebody can make more but have more expenses. You cant force somebody to spend more than they can. If it bothers you that much, wait a few years to get an upgrade

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yeah i dont get the whole complaining about the size thing either...everyone has different financial issue and I don't see how anyone could expect their significant other to break their bank just so they can get a 2 carat ring or something- in my opinion that is being selfish, showy, and careless. I mean maybe that sounds harsh but if I knew my Fh couldnt afford a carat diamond ring i would never tell him NO thats not okay because we are going to be in the marriage together and whatever finances he brings is on me as well and if he went into debt to pay for my ring that is selfish of me and careless to our relationship.

but i can understand if the guy gets his girlfriend a ring that he knows she going to love (if they didnt talk about it) and then she does love it but the setting just looks awkward on her hand or something to that effect.

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by Karen9508

One of my friends proposed to his now wife, with a 2 carat princess cut, with emerald bagettes. He loves the color green and thought it would be nice to incorporate it into the ring. They dated for over 8 years when he proposed, so you would think he knew her well enough to get her a ring with emeralds.. I thought the ring was very unique and fit their personalities...
She ended up not liking the emeralds, made him take it BACK to the jeweler and take the emeralds out and add diamonds..

We were all shocked!

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All our friends thought it was a big much...