I just spoke to my MOH and I mentioned that I would most likely want them to get a pair of closed toe shoes that can be dyeable to the Merlot dress I picked out for them. She is saying that she really wishes I would make it so they can wear black close toed pumps and then this way they can wear the shoes again, b/c the dyeables will just be a waste of money for them b/c they'll never wear them again. I do understand that...
Also my MOH is very short like 5'1' and her husband is over 6 feet tall. She said she needs a high heel to dance with her husband and those dyeables are all made with low heels so she won't be able to dance with her husband bc she will be up to his waist and it will look retarded.
I do understand her feelings.. should I just let them get black shoes to wear? As long as they are close toe pumps and then they can get a matching black purse to go with them? I thought this may look distasteful, kinda expecially in my wedding photo's. What do you girls think? Please give me some advice! Thanks!
Ladybug63
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Re: Question on BM shoes
You are never gonna please all the girls. I had some that wanted low heals some that wanted high. I picked out the shoe told them where to get it the cheapest, even gave them coupons and got them died for free. (Craft shoes) If they want black they can have them died black after the wedding.
If you don't care & you dresses are floor length no one will notice there shoes, it wouldn't be the worst thing to have them in black. I feel that BM's should know the $ of being in a wedding. It's a given that you will be spending a lot of money on things you may not like but the bride wants. The bride makes the decisions for her wedding and the BM can make her decisions when she's the bride.
melbalalala
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Re: Question on BM shoes
If the dress is long enough to cover the shoes, I say let them wear the black.
I KNOW someone will reply to this post with 'its your day, do what you want'.. but for my wedding I think...these girls are there for you, spending a ton of $$ for this wedding (travel costs, dress they wont wear again, gift, shower, etc.), the least I can do is be flexible with the shoes!
Im saving that 'its my day and Im doing what I want' card for the few things that REALLY matter to me.
ali120206
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Re: Question on BM shoes
A black closed toe shoe will look fine with the dress. My dresses are cranberry and I'm letting my girls use whatever black shoes they want.
ETA: This has been the case in a lot of the weddings I've been in and I've appreciated it. The weddings that I've had to do dyeables for sometimes the shoes end up being a different color than the dress anyway.
BellaEyes
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Re: Question on BM shoes
Posted by Ladybug63
You are never gonna please all the girls. I had some that wanted low heals some that wanted high. I picked out the shoe told them where to get it the cheapest, even gave them coupons and got them died for free. (Craft shoes) If they want black they can have them died black after the wedding.
If you don't care & you dresses are floor length no one will notice there shoes, it wouldn't be the worst thing to have them in black. I feel that BM's should know the $ of being in a wedding. It's a given that you will be spending a lot of money on things you may not like but the bride wants. The bride makes the decisions for her wedding and the BM can make her decisions when she's the bride.
Also I will point out that I found out through my mom that she will only be contributing 150 towards throwing my shower, now again I understand that her and my uncle just bought a house and things will be tight for them, but I am her only niece that she is really close with..so now my mom and other Aunts will have to fit the rest of the bill to have a bridal shower for me.. I think setting a dollar amount like that to my mom was kinda cheap, she should know there are duties of being a MOH, and she should have declined if she thought she would not be able to help out more. If anything she should have told my mom she will help out as much as she can, not 'I will only be able to contribute 150 dollars'!
EJSD2006
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Re: Question on BM shoes
if you want to please everyone, take the girls to the bridal shoe boutique in westbury on old country rd. they have a nice selection and they dye the shoes twice for you for free. that way you can dye them whatever color you want for the wedding and then the girls can bring them back afterwards and make them black or white or whatever color they want so they can wear them more than once.
ETA: and my sister got an awesome pair of dyeables there with a 3' heel...they are so cute!!! I think they will work for your BM with the tall hubby.
BellaEyes
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Re: Question on BM shoes
Posted by alnem
if you want to please everyone, take the girls to the bridal shoe boutique in westbury on old country rd. they have a nice selection and they dye the shoes twice for you for free. that way you can dye them whatever color you want for the wedding and then the girls can bring them back afterwards and make them black or white or whatever color they want so they can wear them more than once.
This would be a great idea.. but three of them live in New Jersey...As it is I am having the three of them come to LI on a Thursday eve to try on the dresses and order them here, then they will have the dresses shipped to them when they come in. ( so they say)..
I don't know why my MOH is making a big deal with the shoe thing.. ugh
jenntony
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Re: Question on BM shoes
i've been pretty lenient with my BMs, they all got to pick out their own dresses, i just gave them some requirements (all same length and color) and they can pick out their own shoes as long as they are turquoise, white or silver, and i am wearing white flip flops so i told them that they can wear flip flops or whatever type of shoe they want doesn't matter to me too much, their dresses are long and their shoes won't show. it doesn't matter i want them to be comfortable and to make it a little easier with their budgets.
SunBride07
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Re: Question on BM shoes
I would let them wear black shoes - they will be able to wear them again.
BellaEyes
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Re: Question on BM shoes
I guess they can wear the black shoes..
Goldi1021
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Re: Question on BM shoes
I thought I wanted my BP to wear closed toe dyeables too because we had a winter wedding. But then it seemed to make more sense for them all to get silver. Silver might look really nice with Merlot and they will DEFINITELY wear them again. My BP was happy and grateful and they all got to choose their own shoes. And Ill be honest with you, when you dye shoes black after dying them again, once they get wet, they look horrible.
