Question re: sisters and bridesmaids

There are no rules on this. Many people do have sisters, brothers, relatives, or friends from each side, and I personally think it's nice to have a combination of the bride and groom's nearest and dearest, but that's not a rule either, it's just me. I had my sister and his sister, but that was an easy decision for me to make.

If your fiancee does not know your sisters and does not want them, she should choose other people she feels close to for her wedding party. There is a lot of planning and work involved in this, and it should go easier if she knows and trusts the people.

I would discuss it more with her, but the decision you guys make should not be contingent upon the money, however tempting that may be. Good luck!

Your mother is being unreasonable and controlling. She is pitting you against your fiancee and her. How unfair. Stop this immediatley with her and maybe pay for your wedding yourself.

I don't know why people who offer to pay for something as a gift have the right to make conditions. If this is how she starts off, imagine what else she will be demanding as time goes on.

If someone gave you some cash as a b-day gift or something-do they have the right to tell you how to spend it? It's a gift...should have no conditions.

Put your foot down now with your mom.

My mom wasn't a bridesmaid when either of my uncles got married. She was a little hurt, and when I got married she was rather insistant that my uncles and aunts not be involved in any way other than 'guests', but when all was said and done, she has moved on. She's very close with her younger brother, and his wife, and it's all water under the bridge now.

I'm an only child, and when BIL gets married I'd be happy to be a BM, but if I don't get asked it won't be any skin off my back. It just means I get to pick my own fabulous dress!

It really come down to you doing what makes you happy, not others! Do what you want for yourself. Not what other expect you to do.

I had a lot of problems with one of the girls who I had choosen to be in my wedding party. We used to be very close, we're still friends, but time has changed a lot. I realized I only asked her to be in the party, because we always talked about it being that way.
It was sad, but I realized she only needed a small push, and she willingly stepped out. This made me realize even more that she wasen't right for this part of my day, since she so quickly said ok.

It's better to decided to not include someone, rather than ask them, only to regret it later, and then have the hard task of either dealing with their presence or having to ask then to step out. Good luck.

It is not required that your fiancee have your sisters in her bridal party, but it is the respectful thing to do. I think anyway.

Everyone I know and every wedding I have been to, the groom has the brides brothers as groomsmen and the bride has the husbands sisters. The idea being that you are marrying into each other's families. Maybe your not especially close to them now, but you are still going to be a member of the family and hopefully grow closer over time.

My cousin who I am extremely close with is a groomsmen and FH is not overly close with him. We see him holiday and birthdays but FH accepted that it was important for me to have him be a part of the wedding.

I think many people make assumptions about your wedding, which they shouldn't. Number 1... that was totally uncalled for regarding what your parents said. If your sisters are in the wedding... they'll help pay for the wedding and if not, then screw you? Doesn't that make you mad? I mean they're basically telling you that if your sisters are not in the wedding, than they're not willing to help you out on YOUR wedding? What does that say about your relationship with them? Do you know what i mean?

I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. One of my brothers is married and my FH has 1 sister. If we based our bridal party on siblings... we wouldn't be able to have anyone else in our party.

My FH is having 1 of my brothers as a groomsman because that brother is the only one he really knows. The other 2 he barely sees.

Now i'm not having my 1 sister in the wedding. It's a long story, but we had a falling out 2 years ago and even though we're talking now, there is still a lot to mend. Nor am i having my 1 sister in law (my brothers wife) because i hardly know her. I mean i think i saw her twice in 5 years. I am however having my FH's sister in the party. She is the MOH actually but that's because we are so close and we talk every day.

Bottom line... the bridal party is for who you are close to and i would never make my FH have my family in the bridal party if he didn't feel comfortable doing so. It's his day too! Your parents will get over it! And if they don't, oh well. If you give in to this now, they're only going to put more demands on you two as you go along with the planning.

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Posted by Preshy7

maybe im the minority here - but i think its only right to include your future sister in laws in the bridal party.

i included everyone. i dont understand why its a big deal to have more people in the bridal party??

to me, if i was in doubt, i included them.

whats worse- buying some more boquets and another few bridal party gifts
or
a person being very upset and holding a grudge against you forever (like some people really do)

i dont know- i think she should include them...

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I'm sorry, but if you don't include certain people in your party and they hold a grudge... than obviously you were right not to include them. If they're mad, than maybe they weren't as good of a friend as you think they were. I would never get mad at a friend for not including me in his/her party. That's obsurd. And yes i understand people probably do get mad over that stuff, but oh well. Maybe they shouldn't have assumed that they were going to be in the party to begin with!!!

Having someone be a part of your day simply because you're afraid of them getting mad at you is NOT a reason to include them on your wedding day. IMHO

I don't think it's a decision that's only up to your fiance. I think you have a say in this also....and if you are close to your sisters, then they should be included.

I have 2 brothers and, personally, would be hurt if either of them didn't include me in their weddings. Even though my husband isn't as close with them as he is with his own brother, they were both in our wedding psrty because they are important to me.

While I dont' think it's up to your mother to make this deicision for you,and I think she's putting you in a difficult situation....I can see why she would want her family to all be included in the day.

I have three of each - brothers & sisters. FH has two sisters. One of my sisters is my MOH, the others are not included in my BP. One of my brothers is walking me down the aisle, the others are not included in the BP. FH's sisters are not in the BP either.

This decision was based on how close I felt with my own siblings. Right now our BP is uneven (one less on my side). FH has not once suggested, nor has his family, that I include one (or both) of his sisters, and it is driving him nuts that BP is uneven.

The people standing up for you & FW, should be the people each of you feel is important to YOU as individuals, and that you know will support you as a couple, not who your family thinks should be standing up for you.