Question (sorry its kinda long)

bag19 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 02:51 PM

Question (sorry its kinda long)

Hey girls! I really never post on here but I kinda have an issue. FH really wants to give out cigars at cocktail hour. IF mother nature is nice, we will be having our CH outside. BUT personally, I don’t want the smell of cigar smoke intruding on the delish food that will be served. Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever seen people smoking cigars at a CH (I could be wrong though). I always looked at cigars as an “after-party” thing. We are not doing a Viennese hour so I feel that if we were to give them out at CH or even during the reception all the guys (FH, and my dad included) would be outside smoking them. We are not paying all the $$ we are paying for groups of our guests to be smoking cigars outside instead of enjoying themselves at our reception. He says that this is the only thing he is asking for and that I should oblige. Am I wrong to want our guests to be in the RH dancing and enjoying themselves? Also, we are having a bunch of OOTers, family and friends staying at the hotel after the reception. As a compromise I suggested handing the cigars out at the very end so that they can enjoy them outside the hotel. Does this sound reasonable??

gina409 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 02:58 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

i have to agree with u...i do feel bad since he says this is his only request..but i would not want the smell also..

try to explain to him like this..everyone is going to outisde for ch right?well not everyone wants to smell like a cigar.and have to smell like it the whole night..people will def get mad,
if u do it at the end people who want to will go outside people who dont wont...

hth

bag19 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 03:03 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

hey thanks! I will def. give that a try!

9509Bride Posted: Mar 25, 2009 03:05 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

I totally get what you are saying with regards to having large groups of guest outside smoking but fun is subjective. Perhaps you have to look at it like smoking a good cigar for some guests IS fun. If your guest is a cigar person then imagine how stoked they'd be to see a cigar bar and to get to smoke?

if you end up outside, perhaps you can have the cigar smoking limited to a certain section to avoid the aroma from permeating the air too much???

if you end up inside during CH the only thing they will be missing are the drinks and food. It is not during your actual reception so you don't run the risk of them missing key aspects of your wedding ( 1st dance, cake cutting etc) right?

In a nut shell if FH hasn't made any other requests, I would let him win on this one.

HTH

P.S My grandpa was a BIG cigar smoker so I know the smell can be overwhelming ....so I do see your side as well

bag19 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 03:15 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

Yeah my dad smokes them and I hate the smell....It ***** cuz this really is the only thing (so far, we still have 6 months) he has asked for since we started planning so I do feel bad for giving him a hard time. I think maybe having a table or a basket or something filled with cigars at the end would work...I really think he just wants to do it to look cool. HAHA

AlisonMZ14 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 03:16 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

I agree on handing them out at the end.

MaggieLuvsJoe Posted: Mar 25, 2009 03:21 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

I would hand them out at the end. FH likes to smoke cigars and he mentioned it to me that he would want one on the day of the wedding and I was upset bc smoking a cigar is a lenghty thing, he would be missing from the party for a long amount of time instead of enjoying the wedding with me. They can smoke cigars after the party.

bag19 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 03:25 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

EXACTLY! bc FH said something like 'oh well what about the ppl smoking cigarettes during the CH or the reception' BUT cigs take like what? 5 min to smoke? cigars take much longer.. Thanks girls!

KerriJohnS Posted: Mar 25, 2009 03:30 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

I'm not big on cigar smoke. Actually I hate it and think it's gross. But that's also because I don't smoke cigarettes and I find cigs to be gross too.
So I am with you on it. Since he is only asking for the one thing then you should come together to comprimise on it.
I like the idea of them being handed out towards the end of the night. If FH absoluetly refused to give them out towards the end of the night or at the hotel...I don't know what your RH looks like... but perhaps there could be one area for the smoking and one for the food? Perhaps the cigars can be handed out near the front door so the guests would have to be outside in the front area to smoke them? Then your CH people can be in the other outdoors area to eat and not smell like cigars.

bag19 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 04:16 PM

Re: Question (sorry its kinda long)

Thanks ladies! Our reception is in the Vanderbilt (the downstairs room) at the Watermill..so that is why I am so against handing them out during the party bc its not like its just right outside where the guests smoking the cigars can be easily called in for something important ...they would be all the way upstairs. Thanks girls! I am going to talk to FH again and see if we can come up with some kind of compromise!!