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Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

xjulietx Posted:

Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

If you are or you have hyphenated your last name, did you tell your in-laws or will you? How?

I am going to hyphenate and I know that FH's mom is probably going to have something to say about it. Do I keep it from her? Do I tell her? How?

Any stories to share on this topic? Thanks!
NYCHICK Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

I am hyphenating. I honestly think that my in-laws care. I told them and they didn't seem annoyed or anything. FMIL made her maiden name her middle names but I can't do that so hyphenating was my only option. My name would sound horrible if I just used FH last name alone.

divabride Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

Im probably going to hyphenate also. I havent told my in-laws, but I really dont care what they think. My father had two brothers who both passed away. He is the 'last of the mohicans'. He has no sons, just me and my sister. My sister took her husband's name. In honor of my father, Im keeping his last name.

cocoa Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

i always thought i would be a girl who hyphenates, but when i met fh, i realized that idea would fly out the window b/c our last names are practically the same. in fact, they mean the same thing in another language. here is an example: becca brown marrying billy brawn. she would be becca brown-brawn. there would be no way that such a hyphenization should be allowed.

if fmil asks why you are hyphenating, you can say that professionally, it would be easier if i kept my maidenname, which could be true. this would be especially true for a teacher or if your fh last name is hard to pronounce. or look at courtney cox. when she married david arquette, she took his name. but when her father died, with whom she had a really close relationship, she took back her maiden name to honor him. good luck. it is perfectly normal for women of today to keep the last name. it is a part of who they are for over 20 years!
cw0904 Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

I am hyphenating and I really don't care what my soon to be in-laws have to say about it. FH knows why I chose to do this. As long as he understands that is my main concern. As long as he backs me up 100% I don't care what anyone else thinks.
WeezieNY Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

i kept my maiden name for my profession. b/c i have established my name already and it would be like starting all over again. but that caused a problem when changing my ss and driver license. i wanted to put my maiden name as my middle name but it would show up on my driver's license, it would only show as a initial so I hypenated it. so now my license only has my first initial for my first name b/c no space for all of it.
i was hoping i could do it the way my bank did where my maiden name became my middle name so whenever my name printed or appeared anywhere it appeared first name middle[maiden] name last name. but dmv and ss done work like that.
do what makes you comfortable. noone gave me a problem, they understood once i explained. good luck.
xjulietx Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

I am keep dreading the thought that people will buy us mongrammed things with his last initial. His mom has already said that I will need to have a monogrammed towel set like the rest of them and it will say JF (FH's last name begins with an 'F') I would prefer just J.

Ugh!
palebride Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

I would hyphenate...but both of our last names start with P and are rather long....so my students would wind up shortening my name to 'Mrs. PeePee', which might cause problems
So I'll stick with one 'P'
nsgraham Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

I just told my FMIL and she told my FFIL. I was going back and forth about it, but once I told them what was it. She just asked what we were naming the children. I told her his last name and it was fine.
xjulietx Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

I think my children will have FH's last name.

Has anyone here had your own parents object to you hyphenating? Maybe they think you are going against tradition?
HearzBellz Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

I didn't really discuss it with my in-laws. I think DH told them, actually, when people were askin how to make out the gift checks.....

They didn't care, as long as both names were there.
I origianlly wasn'tgoing to take his name at all, but then I changed my mind.
charlotte227 Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

I'm going to use both last names, I'm not a 20 something bride. I'm an established prof in my field already.

Misstene Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

Sure I told them. My last name is pretty cool, so most people understand why I wouldn't want to lose it, but also, I have a strong personality coupled with a great career. . . They wouldn't question me on it.

samsbride Posted:

Re: Questions for those who have or will hyphenate their last names

ugh - this is such a headache for me. Legally you can't have two last names unless you hyphenate meaning you can't have your maiden name as your middle name.
This makes no sense and i think it depends on who you get at the social security office.
My mom has her maiden name as her middle name and others I know have done this too. But apparently they don't have to let you do this.

I would prefer to hyphenate but my last name sounds so strange grouped with his.

Also - I'm one of those people who was always referred to only by my last name. What would people call me?

And I worry that once I change my last name to FI name - people will assume I changed my first name to his as well and start calling me

Mrs John Doe. I can handle Jane Doe or Mrs Doe but I do not want to ever be addressed by my husbands name with just an 's' added.
Way too old fashioned for me. he also thinks it is ridiculous but others don't

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