:? So many of us have trouble with FMIL? I'm wondering how FH handles this...does he even know? If so does he try to diffuse the situation? Does he take sides? Do you talk to him about it? Basically, what are FH's feelings on your issues (if you have any) with FMIL? :?
My answer later when I have a lull at work....
es2189
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Re: ~~~~QUOTD THURSDAY 1/7/2010~~~
MikesBride2B
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Re: ~~~~QUOTD THURSDAY 1/7/2010~~~
FH knows FMIL is a jerk and he is on my side...I don't think he really realized exactly what was going on until his mom didn't even say goodbye to me on our last visit, he thought there was an issue, but that I spent a decent amount of the time seeing something in nothing.
Now he handles her the way that is appropriate, by spending as little time as possible on the phone with her and not telling her any important details about our lives.
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: ~~~~QUOTD THURSDAY 1/7/2010~~~
In 7 years I have never even had a cross thought about FMIL.
She is more wonderful beyond words
We have never had a disagreement, fight, anything.
She lives in FL and I wish I saw her more often
jackieee
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Honestly, we don't have any problems. We have gotten along right away. She likes me a lot, and doesn't cause any problems. I'm VERY lucky!! I love her!
Future Mrs H
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The problems i have with FMIL is that she is very old , very sick, and she snaps in a minute. She can be the sweetest women in the world or the nastiest biatch ever. She can be very hurtful to both FH and myself but we do realize that she is sick and its probably the fustration of not being able to get around like she used to. FH always does stick up for me when she get nasty towards me and is always on my side.
MrsSoto
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honestly i could say im lucky because his mom speaks to no english so ive never had a real conversation with her unfortunately but if i had to say anything it would be that she is just generally very uninterested in everything having to do with us. perfect example, fh told her we were engaged, she didnt even pop her head out of the kitchen to even smile at me and say congratulations in spanish or somethin. shes very sweet and all and im assuming the language barrier and also the fact that in fhs family, they dont ever have big 'american' weddings to i dont think she understands the significance of this but in any case, she couldve made the gesture to acknowledge our engagement. from what i know, she never asks about any wedding plans whatsoever or whats going on with us.
this is partially fhs fault so his view points on it are basically NONe. I always feel like if he presented things differently to her, her reacition would be different. by whispering to her that we are engaged or making things sound like they arent a big deal 'because he already knows her reaction' isnt giving her a chance to have a different reaction cuz hes presenting things as if hes embarassed about them in the first place.
o well, i count myself lucky when i hear the unfortunate things that some fmils do to their fdils.
Lsorrent
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Re: ~~~~QUOTD THURSDAY 1/7/2010~~~
My FMIL is kind of like Marie Barone.........she means well, just often does it in the wrong way, lol. And FH, FBIL, and FSIL know this 100% - actually they're the ones that gave her the nickname Marie Barone
But she's actually been great lately and I really can't complain at all. She's wants to be involved, but will wait for me to invite her to things or ask for her help before butting in. She knows her boundaries with me.
jcreilly
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Re: ~~~~QUOTD THURSDAY 1/7/2010~~~
I actually get along really well with FMIL, fh gets mad at her because he has to drive her everywhere and wants her to drive,so once we are married I have a feeling he will be making me take her to the supermarket when I go he hates going their!
edit becasue- FMIl counld not stand her MIl she always got involved and was rude ( her words) so I think thats why she wants to be asked to get involved or for her opinon and she says ' Its your wedding' and in years to come she does not want me telling my fdil that my fmil was nasty
MerSaysEh
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Ok my answer :)
I'm actually really lucky too...I adore FMIL and we get along sooo well and she is so helpful with everything in our lives, not just wedding stuff. However, in planning the wedding because my family is so far away there have been a few times I have felt ganged up on by her and FH and felt like my opinion isn't respected. FH has been pretty good at picking up on this and he does tell me that he is sure that is not how his mom means it, but he has spoken to her a couple times to remind her that this is kinda tough for me. I feel really lucky that I have a FMIL who I know will be there for us throughout everything, but just like everyone has issues sometimes with their own families, as you mesh families I feel that issues will arise too! So FH is pretty good about it but I also try to use 'I feel' statements lol so that it doesn't seem like I'm accusing or blaming FMIL of anything.
TGx3
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Re: ~~~~QUOTD THURSDAY 1/7/2010~~~
I tolerate my FMIL. We don't jave any bad blood, but holy moly she is the typical Italian MIL - a maryr through and through. Besides that, she doesn't remember anything. Lol.
Diana508
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I have to say, I love my FMIL too and have never had any problems. Reading some of the horror stories on these boards make me feel lucky.
es2189
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great question, meredith!!!
MerSaysEh
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Posted by es2189
great question, meredith!!!
thank you darling! i try....seriously, i lay in bed at night trying to come up with a good quotd for the next day!
StaceyWill
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FH doesn’t really have a relationship with his mother, so neither do I. But I have met her once and we were very nice to eachother.
SuzanneK
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Posted by Lsorrent
My FMIL is kind of like Marie Barone.........she means well, just often does it in the wrong way, lol. And FH, FBIL, and FSIL know this 100% - actually they're the ones that gave her the nickname Marie Barone
But she's actually been great lately and I really can't complain at all. She's wants to be involved, but will wait for me to invite her to things or ask for her help before butting in. She knows her boundaries with me.
I agree with you Laura my fmil is the same way but she def means well.
JennandAnthony
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I love fmil to death! Shes the sweetest woman in the world! I dont think I could ever have any type of confrontation with her
MrsC2010
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he usually just tells me i should ignore her and she probably doesnt realize shes doing nething....but there have been a few times i have asked him to talk to her and he did.
AngnShaun
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considering he pretty much hates his own mother.... i sometimes defend her because he will start in on her when she hasnt done anything... its not that i dont like her... when shes sober shes a pretty nice person...
MerSaysEh
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Posted by AngnShaun
considering he pretty much hates his own mother.... i sometimes defend her because he will start in on her when she hasnt done anything... its not that i dont like her... when shes sober shes a pretty nice person...
