RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

Lunatrek Posted: Jun 03, 2003 01:55 PM

RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

Ladies, I need your help!

My FH and I are arguing about where to have the rehearsal dinner (brunch, actually... it will be early). I know I've posted threads about this before, but it's really out of control now! His mom keeps wanting to look into places that I don't like (and I know my family won't like). But because she's paying for it, I feel like I can't give her that hard of a time. For example, she wants a place like the Miller Ridge, Maine Maid Inn, or someplace with a bar type atmosphere. I really don't like stuff like that. I wanted to look into something like the George Washington Manor, the Milk & Sugar Cafe, or a hotel that his a nice brunch menu. I can't bring my friends and family (who are coming from out of town) to something that I think is a dump. My FH is like 'Who cares, it's just a get together...' but I CARE! Am I crazy for caring? Should I let my FMIL have her way because she's paying for it?

Help me before I turn into bridezilla!!

Sunny Posted: Jun 03, 2003 01:58 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

I do not balme you for caring ONE BIT! I would hate that. Your FH sounds exactly like mine would. Research it yourself, and come up with some prices. That way, if she picks a place, you can say 'but I really like this place and it's (the same price or less)'

Olgaki Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:00 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

Is she not budging at all? How have you spoken your mind?

What I find foolproof - find a place you like and that is cheaper than what she is spending. Sometimes cheaper wins over what you 'like' Just a though - I know it is sneaky though

Sassyz75 Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:00 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

I don't think the Maine Maid in or the Milleridge are dumps. From what I've heard they both offer very nice, affordable brunches. I think if those are the places she has in mind it will be fine. Also- the George Washington Manor is owned by the Milleridge people- and it's around the same price- so maybe you can mention it to her.

I think you should have faith in your FMIL- you are lucky that she's contributing something at all (I've heard some horror stories). .. As long as it's not in the mall foodcourt, you'll be fine... no worries.

Edited to say- the Milleridge does NOT have a bar atmosphere- it's very similar to the George Washington Manor.

rlivings Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:01 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

I don't think that Maine Maid is a dump. MAybe I am biased since my rehersal dinner was there :) Did you think it was?

Anyway, I thik that you have to let go of some control to his family. I let Sean's family take care of the rehersal dinner as far as picking the place and the menu. Maybe you can suggest the places you like to them and go look at them with Brian's mom. I did that with Sean's mom.

Lunatrek Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:05 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

Aww, I didn't mean to offend anyone (especially you Rachel!) I didn't mean to say that the Miller Ridge or Maine Maid are dumps, I meant that about a few other places she had in mind.

I guess you're all right, I need to stop being such a control freak! I'll just make some suggestions and hope she's on board with them.

Ahhhhh I feel much better now, thanks ladies!

rlivings Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:09 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

No offense taken!!
If there is one thing I have learned after all this is that you have certain set ideas in your head about where and how you want things to go and then, once you are in the moment, you realize you wouldn't have cared, where it was, as long as those same people are there and Brian is there, YOU WILL BE HAPPY!!

The RD could be in the party room at McDonald's with everyone jumping in the ball pit and it will still be one of the best times of your life!!

Love ya!!

Lunatrek Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:10 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

LMAO!!! The ball pit would be COOOL!!

You are too funny

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:12 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

I have had brunch at the Milleridge inn and it is pretty good. In fact I had a graduation party one time at the George washington manor and think the food and atmosphere and service are in fact equal. I think you would be ok with that - What about looking into a place like West End Cafe - I have heard that they will open for a party like that if you have enough people and it is a nice restaurant

Irishbride Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:14 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

I am having the same issues with my FMIL & FSIL. While FSIL was here on vacation she decided that she was going to look into RD places. I was and still am annoyed about this. Isnt it suppsoed to be FH and my decision? Any way she tells me that she looked at the Cresent Club in Bayville which I LOVE but couldnt get married there (dont remember the reason) its very $$ & more $$ a plate more than my wedding. I think its a waste of $$ and I dont think we need to have that fancy a RD. FH does not understand why I get upset. But I feel we are being TOLD where to have RD. Sorry so long.

Helene718 Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:17 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

I'm sorry to say, but since your FMIL is paying, you may just have to go along with what she wants. I have the same exact situation. She was picking the restaurant, but does not want to invite out of towners or significant other's of the wedding party and she wants it the week before the wedding instead of the night before like I wanted. Well, I had to pick my battles. I got the significant others, but I lost on the restaurant, the out of towners and the date. Well, my whole family was upset, so now my dad is throwing a barbeque for all of the out of towners and the wedding party WITH significant others and on the night before the wedding. So we all win. Unfortunately, it is still at a restaurant that I don't care for. It's not bad, just not what I would have chosen. But if I really wanted to fight it, i would be paying for it. Moral of the story, accept the gift graciously, but make some revisions to make it more your own. Sorry, I do feel for you though..

Lunatrek Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:24 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

Great advice, Helene! Thank you, you made an excellent point!

Maribelle7777 Posted: Jun 03, 2003 02:27 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

MY FH's family isn't from this country and my FH refuses to even broach the subject of his father paying for the RD. Which I guess I can understand (sort of)...he is paying for he and his wife to come over here and they'll be staying in a hotel for part of the time so that is alot of money. But I was hoping that he would have offered to pay for something. Oh well.

I am sure you and your FMIL will come to a happy agreement in the end. : )

butterfly20 Posted: Jun 03, 2003 03:37 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

since your FMIL is paying... she gets to decide..
however you should suggest George Washington Manor- when my sister had a party of 15 she called up Milleridge Inn, they said that she should 'go to George Washington Manor instead cause its nicer'( they own both places)

julybride444 Posted: Jun 03, 2003 05:30 PM

Re: RD Issues!!! (Sorta long)

Perhaps you could get your family to give you a price range and then you could scout places in that price range. I don't blame you for caring, but if you want something more expensive, you should pay for it. If they're paying for it, they have the right to set a $ limit.