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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
It really depends on your bridal party? Do they have $$? are they students? Did you pick expensive bridesmaid dresses? What other hidden expenses will they have?
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
Oops, misread that. So your mom is paying a lot and wants to have your BP pick up some of the incidental expenses but FMIL says YOUR MOM should pay for everything? Is FMIL helping out at all? ![]()
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If FMIL thinks the bridal party shouldnt pay, she can pay their share. Seriously. I don't think $50pp is an unreasonable expense for your BP.
(I originally read it as your mom wanting to pay so the BP wouldnt have to, but you wanting the BP to pay).
If FMIL thinks the bridal party shouldnt pay, she can pay their share. Seriously. I don't think $50pp is an unreasonable expense for your BP.
(I originally read it as your mom wanting to pay so the BP wouldnt have to, but you wanting the BP to pay).
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
I feel that once someone agrees to be in your wedding party, they agree to all of the expenses that come with the responsibility including the shower.
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Posted by LoveRocks
I feel that once someone agrees to be in your wedding party, they agree to all of the expenses that come with the responsibility including the shower.
Exactly what I was going to say. Most people have been to weddings before or know people who have been in them to realize that they're not just there for the ride. Also, have you spoken to your bm's yet? Maybe they wouldn't mind spliting the expences of the party and FMIL is just over-paranoid. IMO I don't think just the MOB should be paying for everything.
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
Oh, also, maybe have your MOH team up with your mom and have MOH talk to the bm's on what they think they can chip in (she is kinda like the head bm right?) That is, if you think you might seem like 'the bride pushing for an extravagant shower'. I dunno... just another idea. I have no idea what I'll be doing for my shower. My mom and my sister say it'll be a surprise so I'm assuming my sis (MOH) will speak to the bm's to see where they all are financially to chip in.
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
Honestly, in all the wedding parties I've been in, the bridesmaids paid for the shower. So it is definately not unreasonable to ask them to chip.
Also, if your FMIL is so concerned for their financial well being, maybe she should cough up some dough!![]()
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Also, if your FMIL is so concerned for their financial well being, maybe she should cough up some dough!
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
being a bridesmaid is expensive ![]()
its going to cost me well over $1,000.00 between gifts (eparty/wedding/shower), the bachorlette party, the dress and accessories, hair, make up, manicure, pedicure, hotel the night of the wedding, etc. etc.
so just be considerate for your friends/family - $50 isnt a lot of money - but it does add up rather quickly - so make sure that your BM's know that you appreciate them!![]()
its going to cost me well over $1,000.00 between gifts (eparty/wedding/shower), the bachorlette party, the dress and accessories, hair, make up, manicure, pedicure, hotel the night of the wedding, etc. etc.
so just be considerate for your friends/family - $50 isnt a lot of money - but it does add up rather quickly - so make sure that your BM's know that you appreciate them!
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
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it is hard for BM's - i know because i am planning a wedding and I am in my friends BP - but it doesnt matter to me - i am doing it b/c she is my friend - i just have to save a little harder thats all - its not hard when you WANT to do it ![]()
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
The bridal party all chipped in for my sisters shower. It was under certain circumstances, but they all did.
I say run it by them and see what they say. If they say no,. then what are you going do.
I say run it by them and see what they say. If they say no,. then what are you going do.
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
I think the girls can do at least $50, that's like such a small amount if you really think about it.
The thing about this shower biz, is you shouldn't even be worrying about this, you have enough to think about!
The thing about this shower biz, is you shouldn't even be worrying about this, you have enough to think about!
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
I don't believe paying for the shower is an obligation of the BMs. (Seriously, I don't...)
However, I don't think it's necessarily rude to ask them to chip in -- I just don't think it's an obligation, personally.
For me, personally, while all my girls were employed, none had so much expendable income as for it to be no big deal to pay for the bach party, the dress, hair/makeup, shoes, a shower gift, etc. I'd have been mortified if my mom asked my girls to contribute to the shower -- though I think some did offer. My mom let my MOH handle the favors and that was it!
If it's a matter of your mom not being able to afford it, then I don't think it's at all unfair to ask the girls to take care of the incidentals. They may enjoy doing it.
However, I don't think it's necessarily rude to ask them to chip in -- I just don't think it's an obligation, personally.
For me, personally, while all my girls were employed, none had so much expendable income as for it to be no big deal to pay for the bach party, the dress, hair/makeup, shoes, a shower gift, etc. I'd have been mortified if my mom asked my girls to contribute to the shower -- though I think some did offer. My mom let my MOH handle the favors and that was it!
If it's a matter of your mom not being able to afford it, then I don't think it's at all unfair to ask the girls to take care of the incidentals. They may enjoy doing it.
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
Like another poster suggested, why don't your mom and MOH team up and talk to the BMs. I'm sure that it wouldn't be a big deal to chip in about $50. I know that my mom originally was going to pay for all of my shower, but the BM's all got together and put in money too.
As for FMIL, if she is so concerned why doesn't she offer to pay some too?
As for FMIL, if she is so concerned why doesn't she offer to pay some too?
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
Honestly, you shouldn't be thinking about this at all. If your mom and BP want to have a discussion about this, then that is their business. This party is about you and you should have no part in who is paying.
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
Posted by Philsbride
Posted by Cacarina
Honestly, you shouldn't be thinking about this at all. If your mom and BP want to have a discussion about this, then that is their business. This party is about you and you should have no part in who is paying.
I know...that is what my mom keeps telling me too. I just cant help but to feel bad and when I feel bad I tend to oevrthink....I just want everyone to be happy. Its a problem that I have![]()
I totally understand where you are coming from. But don't worry...you have lots of other things to worry about. I am sure your BP will be okay with chipping in $50 each. Good Luck!!!
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Re: HELP- Is this reasonable?
Posted by Cacarina
Honestly, you shouldn't be thinking about this at all. If your mom and BP want to have a discussion about this, then that is their business. This party is about you and you should have no part in who is paying.
You know, this is an excellent point.
Why do you even know about this issue? It shouldn't have been brought to your attention to begin with...
