Re-Post from BHB: Is this totally inappropriate?

I have heard horror stories of brides inviting 'Ms. Joan Smith', and, even though the invitation is addressed to Ms. Joan Smith ONLY, Ms. Smith either sends her response card back with 3 people on it, or responds that she alone is coming and then SHOWS UP with 3 people.

My guest list and my budget are TIGHT!!! How do I ensure against this kind of thing happening? I can specifically recall being offended when a bride invited me to her wedding but went ahead and filled in '1' for me on my response card before I mailed it back to her. Even though I was offended THEN, I understand her reasoning NOW.

Somebody help me. Would it be tacky to pre-fill in the number attending on people's response card so that they know not to bring those who are not invited? Honestly, some people just don't realize that the invitation is only to those who are ADDRESSED. HELP!

Re: Re-Post from BHB: Is this totally inappropriate?

there were a couple of people that i thought may be guilty of this... so i pre-nipped it in the bud

i just let it 'casually' come up in conversation how tight the list was... that there were so many people that we were close to that we couldnt invite, so it would bother me to have strangers there when our own friends couldnt be. One person was somehwat shocked about not bringing a date... so i was glad i told her Now.. and didnt wait to get the response card--- but i also dont have a problem calling anyone who does that and kindly explaning to them how were paying for it ourselves and had to cut people, and couldnt cover more people than what was addressed.

i wouldnt pre-fill the responses though... maybe you invite 2 and only 1 can come, ya know? also, if it offended you, you dont want to offend all your guests, ya know? JMO

Re: Re-Post from BHB: Is this totally inappropriate?

I know. That's what I keep telling myself - if I was offended, someone else would be. I guess I'll just make the calls if someone tries to bring a tribe. I just really hope whoever I might have to do this for doesn't get offended to the point that they themselves don't come.

Re: Re-Post from BHB: Is this totally inappropriate?

IMO, that is not the way to go. Spread the word to ALL that your budget is tight and that there is no breathing room. But pre-filling in the number, well,you know how that made you react.