Really Bummed About Wedding

So I've been thinking a lot lately.

I'm not really looking forward to the wedding anymore. Not the marriage, but the wedding. It's gotten so far away from what I had wanted.

Two things really set me off, separately, but kind of go together. At my friend's wedding the other day, they had personalized cocktail napkins, and FH was like you know, we don't have anything with our names on them. I want something like this too. So I was like really? Cuz I didn't go crazy with that kind of stuff because of money. It made me happy that he actually wanted something like that.

So then the post earlier about how difficult my RH and its sister RH are with details like that really pissed me off. All these little visions I had...it's becoming clear that it won't be allowed to happen.

Not that I'm going to cancel over just a cocktail napkin...but I would cancel over a cocktail napkin, a table name, a card box, a placecard table poster, favors, etc.

I'm still within the suffolk county law window. I'm really thinking about.

I'm just really pissed. And FH is throwing it in my face like I told you so...he didn't want to book there in the first place because of their shietty service. I'm really ready to throw in the towel.

Oh Ali,
If you are really that unhappy and are willing to start some of te process over than I say go for it, but if you think it's just the fact that things are getting overwhelming especially with your recent loss, maybe you just need to step away from the planning for a little while, and take a break from your 'gestopo' rh, and just try to enjoy time with your fh and and remember why it is you are even at the point of having a wedding. Also tell fh that is comments about the rh are not helping! If after you take some time and really are still unhappy about your rh than maybe consider changing it. I hope this helps you!

ok first off

im sure everyone goes through something like this once in a while...u have to remember why u booked this place..because u LOVED it..every place is going to have ups n downs and nothing will be perfect but it will be amazing cause u get to marry the man u love...if u decide to get napkins great..if not so what..u do what u can afford and what u love and even if its just u and fh in a empty room i guarentee u will still have an amzing day cause all u need is u 2..feel better

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsR

Oh Ali,
If you are really that unhappy and are willing to start some of te process over than I say go for it, but if you think it's just the fact that things are getting overwhelming especially with your recent loss, maybe you just need to step away from the planning for a little while, and take a break from your 'gestopo' rh, and just try to enjoy time with your fh and and remember why it is you are even at the point of having a wedding. Also tell fh that is comments about the rh are not helping! If after you take some time and really are still unhappy about your rh than maybe consider changing it. I hope this helps you!

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Great advice!! Ali, dont make any hasty decisions. Sit down and talk to FH without the I told you sos..(on his part obv)
Maybe call your RH and tell them you are unhappy with the service as of now and are contemplating cancelling your RH ...i missed the previous post, im confused as to why they wont let you add any personal touches?

I'm confused.. what do you mean how difficult Rh and sister RH are with details?

i think i missed a post.

in any case.. i am sorry.

you can find those little cutesy things online for pretty decent prices! if you just do one or two things... that's fine..you dont have to have little details all over the place.. esp if you are trying to cut costs.

Maybe you need to take a step back from planning. Unfortunately, whenever a wedding gets mentioned, prices seem to go up tremendously. I know you really liked your RH - take some time to think about it. Like you said you're still in the window where you can cancel.

But it's the little moments that are going to make your wedding day special - not the little things.

OK being that Im your RH twin I totally know what you are saying. Are we definitley not allowed to have any of those things? A girl on here told me that she was allowed to have the programs at her ceremony so maybe its just the menus because honstly that all Ive really been hearin about us not being able to have. Also, you have to remember why you booked in the first place. For me it was the amazing food and just how beautiful the place is. Im sorry your feeling like this.

wait a sec....they are giving you guidelines about your details? That's nuts. Not for nothing but I'm sure your paying a pretty penny, how the H e l l can they restrict things like that! If you seriously want to cancel and can get your moolah back I would make sure you could book someplace else first. I hope it works out, but those rules are ridiculous!

Oh, Ali, I'm soo sorry that you are feeling like that! Don't worry, from everything I've seen you are going to have an awesome wedding! Cocktail napkins or not. Don't focus on the little things that you can't do, come up with your own spin on little details that you can do and make your wedding different :) Everyone has their days when the want to throw in the towel but you'll snap out of it. Hey, when Fh and I got engaged, I asked him if we could fly to Vegas or the Bahamas and do something small and he didn't want to, now we're having this big wedding (180 people) at church and a RH, totally different than I had envisioned but at the end of the day all of the stress, money and aggrevation will be worth it and you and FH will have the best day of your lives! Don't lose sight of what's really important, the marriage and keep your head up!

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsR

Oh Ali,
If you are really that unhappy and are willing to start some of te process over than I say go for it, but if you think it's just the fact that things are getting overwhelming especially with your recent loss, maybe you just need to step away from the planning for a little while, and take a break from your 'gestopo' rh, and just try to enjoy time with your fh and and remember why it is you are even at the point of having a wedding. Also tell fh that is comments about the rh are not helping! If after you take some time and really are still unhappy about your rh than maybe consider changing it. I hope this helps you!

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Great advice!! Ali, dont make any hasty decisions. Sit down and talk to FH without the I told you sos..(on his part obv)
Maybe call your RH and tell them you are unhappy with the service as of now and are contemplating cancelling your RH ...i missed the previous post, im confused as to why they wont let you add any personal touches?

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The most frustrating part is that there IS no reason. They just say we're not allowed to bring in anything from the outside, without giving a logical, well thought out, legitimate reason. That's what's really bothering me. Especially from a place where 'reputation is everything'.

Ali I am so sorry you're going through this, it was for different circumstances, but I know how it feels to not be excited about your own wedding and it really stinks. I also know how it feels to change your venue, and if you aren't going to lose money, and you have a place lined up that you can change to that will accommodate you and that you love, and that FH will love, then you have to do, what, in your heart, is right for you and him. We realized that it's not about WHERE we have the wedding but it's the fact that we're married. And again, it was under different circumstances, but I'll tell you what an incredible relief it's been to know we have a venue we love, that's working WITH us, and bending over backwards to make sure our day is what WE envision it to be, not what THEY want. It's a big change and a lot to think about, if you need ANYTHING, please FM me, good luck though, in the end, I know you'll do what's best for you and FH!!

have u ever talked to them about anything..i mean im sure in todays economy they dont want to lose any cstomers..maybe they will be more understanding...tell them u are on liw

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Posted by coldasice217

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsR

Oh Ali,
If you are really that unhappy and are willing to start some of te process over than I say go for it, but if you think it's just the fact that things are getting overwhelming especially with your recent loss, maybe you just need to step away from the planning for a little while, and take a break from your 'gestopo' rh, and just try to enjoy time with your fh and and remember why it is you are even at the point of having a wedding. Also tell fh that is comments about the rh are not helping! If after you take some time and really are still unhappy about your rh than maybe consider changing it. I hope this helps you!

---

Great advice!! Ali, dont make any hasty decisions. Sit down and talk to FH without the I told you sos..(on his part obv)
Maybe call your RH and tell them you are unhappy with the service as of now and are contemplating cancelling your RH ...i missed the previous post, im confused as to why they wont let you add any personal touches?

---

The most frustrating part is that there IS no reason. They just say we're not allowed to bring in anything from the outside, without giving a logical, well thought out, legitimate reason. That's what's really bothering me. Especially from a place where 'reputation is everything'.

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so you cant bring in anything from the outside meaning what? the flowers and dj are from the outside arent they? or do they just mean small things like napkins? that's strange.

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Posted by KerriJohnS

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Posted by coldasice217

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsR

Oh Ali,
If you are really that unhappy and are willing to start some of te process over than I say go for it, but if you think it's just the fact that things are getting overwhelming especially with your recent loss, maybe you just need to step away from the planning for a little while, and take a break from your 'gestopo' rh, and just try to enjoy time with your fh and and remember why it is you are even at the point of having a wedding. Also tell fh that is comments about the rh are not helping! If after you take some time and really are still unhappy about your rh than maybe consider changing it. I hope this helps you!

---

Great advice!! Ali, dont make any hasty decisions. Sit down and talk to FH without the I told you sos..(on his part obv)
Maybe call your RH and tell them you are unhappy with the service as of now and are contemplating cancelling your RH ...i missed the previous post, im confused as to why they wont let you add any personal touches?

---

The most frustrating part is that there IS no reason. They just say we're not allowed to bring in anything from the outside, without giving a logical, well thought out, legitimate reason. That's what's really bothering me. Especially from a place where 'reputation is everything'.

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so you cant bring in anything from the outside meaning what? the flowers and dj are from the outside arent they? or do they just mean small things like napkins? that's strange.

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Ive never heard of this...where is this? What if you said a family member is making these personal thigns for you as their gift to you? give them a sob story or something?

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Posted by GT143EA

Ali, Im wondering if this rule only pertains to things that they can provide. On there extras list there are menus but none of those other thins are on there.

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Hmm...that's a good question.

Well, the provide table signs and napkins, so I guess I'll still SOL haha.

I think I'm going to call about it though. Not for nothing, when I booked my BM said about how we can bring stuff in, but then she left and now the new BM wouldn't even set up my non-floral CPs and seems a lot more strict, and that's not right because the other one was more accommodating. Like, seriously. They have to put out the table numbers anyways. What difference does it make if it's the ones they had in their drawer or the ones I brought in 3 days prior?

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Posted by coldasice217

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Posted by GT143EA

Ali, Im wondering if this rule only pertains to things that they can provide. On there extras list there are menus but none of those other thins are on there.

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Hmm...that's a good question.

Well, the provide table signs and napkins, so I guess I'll still SOL haha.

I think I'm going to call about it though. Not for nothing, when I booked my BM said about how we can bring stuff in, but then she left and now the new BM wouldn't even set up my non-floral CPs and seems a lot more strict, and that's not right because the other one was more accommodating. Like, seriously. They have to put out the table numbers anyways. What difference does it make if it's the ones they had in their drawer or the ones I brought in 3 days prior?

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Well i doubt they are gonna make us pay to use their table #'s so we might be able to use our own. Im gonna have to call and ask about these things. It seems like if you can pay them to have them then you cant bring in your own.

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Posted by coldasice217

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Posted by GT143EA

Ali, Im wondering if this rule only pertains to things that they can provide. On there extras list there are menus but none of those other thins are on there.

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Hmm...that's a good question.

Well, the provide table signs and napkins, so I guess I'll still SOL haha.

I think I'm going to call about it though. Not for nothing, when I booked my BM said about how we can bring stuff in, but then she left and now the new BM wouldn't even set up my non-floral CPs and seems a lot more strict, and that's not right because the other one was more accommodating. Like, seriously. They have to put out the table numbers anyways. What difference does it make if it's the ones they had in their drawer or the ones I brought in 3 days prior?

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OMg Ali, Im so sorry!!!
Wow, I really dont understand why you wouldnt be able to bring in your own things- like someone said before... you are able to bring in flowers and things like that...

Def. think it over because you def. booked it because there were things about this place that you loved Can you call the place and tell them how you are worried and want to make sure that you will be taken care of, or you will start looking at other options? At the end of the day, you want your wedding to be perfect, and if you feel like you are going to end up disappointed... then I would think it would be worth it to go someplace else... of course after weighing your options and seeing what you RH says about your concerns.

Where are you getting married by the way? Can you FM me if you dont want to say it on here? I have no clue lol

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Posted by GT143EA

who's your new BM....I had Charles and he lest and now Im dealing with Trish(I think thats her name)

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I'm dealing with Trish now too...we're all gonna bombard her haha, mass collusion!!!