Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
what venue are using?
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Really Bummed About Wedding
Original post by coldasice217
So I've been thinking a lot lately.
I'm not really looking forward to the wedding anymore. Not the marriage, but the wedding. It's gotten so far away from what I had wanted.
Two things really set me off, separately, but kind of go together. At my friend's wedding the other day, they had personalized cocktail napkins, and FH was like you know, we don't have anything with our names on them. I want something like this too. So I was like really? Cuz I didn't go crazy with that kind of stuff because of money. It made me happy that he actually wanted something like that.
So then the post earlier about how difficult my RH and its sister RH are with details like that really pissed me off. All these little visions I had...it's becoming clear that it won't be allowed to happen.
Not that I'm going to cancel over just a cocktail napkin...but I would cancel over a cocktail napkin, a table name, a card box, a placecard table poster, favors, etc.
I'm still within the suffolk county law window. I'm really thinking about.
I'm just really pissed. And FH is throwing it in my face like I told you so...he didn't want to book there in the first place because of their shietty service. I'm really ready to throw in the towel.![]()
I'm not really looking forward to the wedding anymore. Not the marriage, but the wedding. It's gotten so far away from what I had wanted.
Two things really set me off, separately, but kind of go together. At my friend's wedding the other day, they had personalized cocktail napkins, and FH was like you know, we don't have anything with our names on them. I want something like this too. So I was like really? Cuz I didn't go crazy with that kind of stuff because of money. It made me happy that he actually wanted something like that.
So then the post earlier about how difficult my RH and its sister RH are with details like that really pissed me off. All these little visions I had...it's becoming clear that it won't be allowed to happen.
Not that I'm going to cancel over just a cocktail napkin...but I would cancel over a cocktail napkin, a table name, a card box, a placecard table poster, favors, etc.
I'm still within the suffolk county law window. I'm really thinking about.
I'm just really pissed. And FH is throwing it in my face like I told you so...he didn't want to book there in the first place because of their shietty service. I'm really ready to throw in the towel.
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
I am so sorry you are feeling this way and going through this! I can't believe a RH...where you pay so much money for YOUR special day, would not allow you to bring in YOUR extras ![]()
It seems crazy! Def bust their chops about it!
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
what venue r u getting married at? (u can fm me if u dont wanna write it here!) honestly ive never heard of a place that wont let u bring at least little things in- and i grew up in the catering business! Did u tell them if they wont let u bring it they have to do it for u! have u gotten ur parents involveD? does it say in ur contract u can or cant bring items in? im so srry u r dealing with this!!! if u need someone to call and get info- pretend to be ur sister- ill do it for u!!! just let me know!
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
I think thats so crazy and putting an uneccesary stress on you. If your still in the suffolk window and they refuse to let you bring your stuff in after you speak with them again then i would go to another place.
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
Posted by elysemichelle
what venue r u getting married at? (u can fm me if u dont wanna write it here!) honestly ive never heard of a place that wont let u bring at least little things in- and i grew up in the catering business! Did u tell them if they wont let u bring it they have to do it for u! have u gotten ur parents involveD? does it say in ur contract u can or cant bring items in? im so srry u r dealing with this!!! if u need someone to call and get info- pretend to be ur sister- ill do it for u!!! just let me know!
Thank you! It definitely doesn't say a word about that on the contract...just verified. I'm sure I can use that as a bargaining chip.
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
I've never heard of any other place not letting people bring stuff in... I have heard from some places that you can not bring any food items in.... which is fine...whatever... I'm not happy about it.
My shower is at their sister hall and I'm not allowed to have the cake I want b/c its bringing food in even though they have all the permits.
OK... I kinda went off topic.
So if your 1st BM said that you could bring in all your extras and there is nothing about the RH not letting you bring anything in on your contract then I would really call them and tell them you will be looking at other RHs b/c they got the sale on false pretence.
My shower is at their sister hall and I'm not allowed to have the cake I want b/c its bringing food in even though they have all the permits.
OK... I kinda went off topic.
So if your 1st BM said that you could bring in all your extras and there is nothing about the RH not letting you bring anything in on your contract then I would really call them and tell them you will be looking at other RHs b/c they got the sale on false pretence.
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
you have so much time before your wedding to really think about it and do what's most important to you. there are plenty of small touches you can do for little money, like diy projects. i know how you feel and i feel the same way sometimes, but guess what.. no one is going to remember all the details we stress over, the napkins, matches, placecards, all the small things will go unnoticed even though we spend months stressing over them. i am trying to let these things go as i get closer to the wedding, and just be happy that i'm getting married that day. your wedding will be beautiful. i say if you have a dress that you love, and are excited about the marriage, than don't think negatively about the wedding. good luck ![]()
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
you need to call them that is ridiculous but you know what now your making me worry cause I never officially asked my hall if I could bring things in, is this something common? Do alot of them do this?? Give them a call, ask to speak to a manager and explain your situation and how close you are to booking else where. I dont see how in the business of 'hospitality' they wouldnt try to make an agreement with you, especially as everyone else has said IN THIS ECONOMICAL CRISIS!?Are they really willing to risk lossing a client over a freaking napkin? what is it toxic lol
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
i think i missed your other post but...
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i'm so sorry that you're dealing with such unnecessary BS! especially because during this whole 'planning process' your supposed to be able to enjoy all the little personal touches and things. i don't really know where your RH is, but if you're within that window and it doesn't mention anything in your contract, i'd definitely consider playing hardball with them (though you should get your FH to back you...and by that I mean, seeing it from your POV, NOT saying those little annoying comments, and willing to playhard ball with the RH too!)...i'd sit down and talk to him and tell him what he's doing that's bothering you. don't let it fester. you definitely deserve to be so happy right now and not stressed by the little things... lots of little things add up to be one big thing!! i know all about that! i really hope that things get better for you!. definitely keep us posted!!![]()
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i'm so sorry that you're dealing with such unnecessary BS! especially because during this whole 'planning process' your supposed to be able to enjoy all the little personal touches and things. i don't really know where your RH is, but if you're within that window and it doesn't mention anything in your contract, i'd definitely consider playing hardball with them (though you should get your FH to back you...and by that I mean, seeing it from your POV, NOT saying those little annoying comments, and willing to playhard ball with the RH too!)...i'd sit down and talk to him and tell him what he's doing that's bothering you. don't let it fester. you definitely deserve to be so happy right now and not stressed by the little things... lots of little things add up to be one big thing!! i know all about that! i really hope that things get better for you!. definitely keep us posted!!
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
Please don't be bummed about your wedding. In my opinion all of those little things do not matter. In the end you will never say 'damn I wish I had the personalized cocktail napkins' because with or without them you are going to still have an amazing time. However, I think if you really want these things then you should def. talk to your RH and tell them that it is important to you. I don't see why they would not be flexible with you on this, its not like you are asking to bring in your own food and tables and wait staff! Just be firm!
But please dont get down about your wedding. I think we all get to a point like this because wedding planning is stressful and we have to balance what we really want vs. what we need and can afford. I also think that LIW does not help with this sometimes! You constantly see everything everyone else is doing and think 'I need that too!'. Trust me your wedding is going to be beautiful. I have been to a few weddings there and they were great! Try to relax.. take a little break from wedding planning..and everything will work itself out.
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But please dont get down about your wedding. I think we all get to a point like this because wedding planning is stressful and we have to balance what we really want vs. what we need and can afford. I also think that LIW does not help with this sometimes! You constantly see everything everyone else is doing and think 'I need that too!'. Trust me your wedding is going to be beautiful. I have been to a few weddings there and they were great! Try to relax.. take a little break from wedding planning..and everything will work itself out.
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
I'm going to tell you what I've told several brides on here. It's normal to get stressed out and upset about some things concerning the wedding. Everyone inevitably hits a low in the planning process, and maybe you've just hit yours? It will pass and then you'll realize why you booked the things you did and get excited and happy again. Think of it this way, is it really possible to be MANIC HAPPY for 12+ months straight until your wedding? At some point your body needs to take a break and rest so that you can go back to being happy and excited again. It happened to me, and it's happened to a lot of other girls too. It will pass, and in the mean time don't get too bummed out. Just take a break from the planning for awhile. You are so far ahead of the game, you can afford to relax and let some time pass before jumping into it again.
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
Thanks girls ![]()
I feel a little better today, mainly because I was so busy all day. I'm going to try to call tomorrow or Friday to get a straight answer on this. Depending on what it is, then me and FH will have to have a real talk about what our next step is going to be. In my twisted way, I don't want to give in because then he'd have 'won'. Yes, I realize that we're mature enough to get married![]()
But I do think I'm going to step away from planning for a while. As soon as I get these damn STDs out, I think I'm taking a break. March is going to be a lean month for me anyways, I need to get my car inspected, dental cleaning, mother's 50th birthday...so I can't even afford to plan!
I'll still be around, of course, because this is a sickness, but I definitely need to take another mental break from things, and hopefully spend more time with future dwelling/registry/real life stuff.
And side note, Barbara...that's straight horse shiz, BECAUSE 1. during my initial meetings at my RH I was shown pictures of this really all out guinea over the top wedding where the girl brought in chairs, linens, EVERYTHING custom...including a black and gold cake![]()
and 2. I went to the showcase at the sister RH in September, and one of the vendors there was Bonne Boulangerie and they served their cake as an example of an outside vendor....so why would they showcase a vendor if they wouldn't let you use them? Call them out on that crapola!
I feel a little better today, mainly because I was so busy all day. I'm going to try to call tomorrow or Friday to get a straight answer on this. Depending on what it is, then me and FH will have to have a real talk about what our next step is going to be. In my twisted way, I don't want to give in because then he'd have 'won'. Yes, I realize that we're mature enough to get married
But I do think I'm going to step away from planning for a while. As soon as I get these damn STDs out, I think I'm taking a break. March is going to be a lean month for me anyways, I need to get my car inspected, dental cleaning, mother's 50th birthday...so I can't even afford to plan!
I'll still be around, of course, because this is a sickness, but I definitely need to take another mental break from things, and hopefully spend more time with future dwelling/registry/real life stuff.
And side note, Barbara...that's straight horse shiz, BECAUSE 1. during my initial meetings at my RH I was shown pictures of this really all out guinea over the top wedding where the girl brought in chairs, linens, EVERYTHING custom...including a black and gold cake
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
Oh no! Don't be bummed.... it's probably just the stress of everything building up and feeling like you have to carry it all!
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
maybe you can go away with FH, just for a weekend, or even a night??? just to get away from everything and clear your head?
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
umm.....wait a second...i havent been on here for a while because we moved....just started getting in the loop again this week.
i thought you were getting married at Villa Lombardis? or am i going insane.
what happened?
i thought you were getting married at Villa Lombardis? or am i going insane.
what happened?
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Re: Really Bummed About Wedding
Ali ![]()
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I feel the same way.. FH confuses me all the time with different ideas. I plan something and then I have to explain as to why I choose that.. He want to be sooo involved and it kills me.. I like getting things done and he doesnt seem to make a decison on things quickly enough.
There are just soo many things I need to do..
DJ
Photography
BM Dresses
My Dress
Grooms Suits
Not including the little things.. And its not money! Its just ...IDK.. I want it to be sooo right and beautiful that I can't make up my mind, along with FH... So your not the only one that is feeling blue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![]()
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I feel the same way.. FH confuses me all the time with different ideas. I plan something and then I have to explain as to why I choose that.. He want to be sooo involved and it kills me.. I like getting things done and he doesnt seem to make a decison on things quickly enough.
There are just soo many things I need to do..
DJ
Photography
BM Dresses
My Dress
Grooms Suits
Not including the little things.. And its not money! Its just ...IDK.. I want it to be sooo right and beautiful that I can't make up my mind, along with FH... So your not the only one that is feeling blue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
