Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

Original post by JimmysBride

Sep 07, 2004 01:35 PM

I think it would really be a great reality check for some of us if you would be so kind and answer this question, be it as personal as it is...

I just peeked over on the newlywed board and saw a thread that inspired this question because it got me worried about our finances after the wedding... I'd really rather not be shocked by our financial situation after the wedding (not that we are relying on this by any means) but I know that I think at least my FH is a little deluded regarding this issue....I think it will help us brides alot if you would share this info... so with that in mind, I ask you:

How much money did you receive in gifts for the wedding and how many guests did you have? Was it more than or less than you expected?

SandraLynn Posted: Sep 07, 2004 03:32 PM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

My FH has his head in the clouds as well....He thinks we will make it all back and I think we will too, but I am mentally prepared if we don't. I guess I have my feet on the ground and know there will be a few empty envelopes and a few overly stuffed, it just all balances out. I am working and saving and grateful we don't have to pay rent on Oct 1st, which is our wedding day, we have free rent for October, whew!

Donna Posted: Sep 07, 2004 03:43 PM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

Like everyone else has said you do learn a lot about people. We had some very generous people and some that shockingly didn't give us anything - not even a card

Please remember don't count on the gifts too much, in the best case they may cover the cost of the reception but you still have to take in the costs of rings, flowers, dj, photo/video, limo, etc.

Good luck to all of you

sophie78 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 03:51 PM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

My future grandfather in law told us that he bets we will make $100,000!!! We were like what planet are you living on? Unless he is writing a check for that amount (and he isn't especially considering that he made us pay for his tuxedo), he is out of his mind. I guess some people are dreamers.

Kelly9904 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 03:53 PM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

Ours was more than we expected - depending on who you asked. MY goal was to recover enough to cover our reception hall costs. My DH was alittle more ambitious. he wanted to recover 3/4 of the costs (he was freaking out about money because we bought a house just before we got married). What we did receive, fell in between the two. We also received more gifts (not monetary) than we expected, from probably about 15 couples.

I agree with those who said, dont make plans with money you dont have. That is, I think when people get really disappointed and possibly angry. DH and I just wanted the money to put in the bank 'for a rainy day'. We had not plans of paying off debt or anything with it. Therefore, if we had of gotten less, it wouldnt have been as heartbreaking as it may be to others. And after it was in our possession, we did earmark some if it for certain purposes, ie furniture, vacation etc.

palebride Posted: Sep 07, 2004 08:49 PM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

We recieved a lot more than we expected back!
It turned out to about $150 per person...there were a few people who were incredibly generous!

ckgmwedding Posted: Sep 07, 2004 08:55 PM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

Posted by Eireann

We actually got more money than what we paid for the whole wedding and we were totally shocked. It actually came out to about $170pp. Having said that, we were not expecting to get nearly that amount and were not relying on gifts. We threw the party we wanted to have within the budget we had set and were really blessed to have such generous friends and family.

Lucky you!

tinkerwdw Posted: Sep 08, 2004 12:53 AM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

I have heard all the same- that it is from the people that you least expect it that you will shaft you- stereotypically people with money. Maybe that is how they have money? :9) just kidding!
I know in our hearts we are not by any means doing this for the money, but it does hurt one's soul when you don't even receive a CARD from someone that attended your wedding.. that is really insulting!

Personally, my FH family is not from NY, so I know they are thinking that 20-50 for a gift is normal (I changed my FH out of that habit on weddings we have attended), but I know everything will even out. We know that we are doing everyting we can right now to make sure that this day will be special for us, and whatever gifts we receive we will be thankful for- but I can't say for certain that I will not have a bad taste in my mouth for someone who would not even give me a card! That is just disrespectful :( Do you send those people a 'thank you' card? ha.

marymoon Posted: Sep 08, 2004 07:50 AM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

My sister got back less thanhalf of her total investment, but it did come out to about $100/person

Sassyz75 Posted: Sep 08, 2004 09:12 AM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

My DH was totally shocked as to have much $ and how many material gifts we received from the wedding (& engagement party, and shower).. he's a Florida boy- and they just don't get lavished that way.

his surpise made me step back, b/c I thought we could have gotten more- but now that I look at it- we really got so many gifts- so many wonderful things- that I feel that we are truly blessed.

With that said- we're still in debt, over 1 1/2 years later- a little over 10k. However, that's not from the wedding, that's from life- 2 lay-offs, broken cars and emergencies.. once that is paid off we're golden.

agv Posted: Sep 08, 2004 10:15 AM

Re: Really Personal Question for the Married Ladies...

We had guestimated at receiving @ 100-115 per guest when we were trying to figure out our budget early on....and that ended up being almost exactly on target. (although like many others we were also prepared for $0 so we would not be disappointed and whatever we did receive would be a happy bonus)

Like others had said some were very generous and some were not so I think that that # is a fair average of the two. Again, that may not be the case for everyone but that was what it ended up being for us.