really really upset right now.

so, FH just played back a message I left him on his voicemail where I was freaking out because the car was rolling back and I thought it only did that if u had ur foot on the gas in reverse...because my mom told me her jeep doesn't roll back and I'm not a driver so I thought it was abnormal. he played it on speakerphone in front of me and my housemate and he and my housemate were laughing and then he asked me to go driving.

I don't even want to go driving anymore. I just feel what he just did is so very discouraging and hurtful. I didn't know any better and for him to make fun of the fact that I don't know these things when he knows that me trying to drive is a VERY big hurdle I'm trying to overcome (I'm deathly afraid of driving) just seems really insensitive and mean. I feel like crying right now and I don't know if I'm just overly emotional or overreacting or what but I'm really upset by this.

what do you girls think? am I upset over nothing?

My fh makes fun of me when I say something that he feels I should know about all the time.

I understand that you are hurt, but I don't think fh was really trying to hurt you, it is probably strange to him that you didn't know, he might even think its cute.

Try to tell him that you are nervous and that when he makes fun it makes you feel worse.

Its called being a guy and this is what guys do.... They dont think before they do things.... Try not to get so upset... Men are idiotic... Period.

You shouldn' t be concerned with if you have a right to be upset, you are and you have vaild reasons to be.

I guess it depends on if your FI knows what a big challenge this for you to learn how to drive and that you need support. If he does, I think it was out of line what he did. I think you should tell him how much it bothered you and why. It's possible for people to not reaize that thier jokes maybe be very hurtful to people. I think the way that he responds to when you tell him that you were upset is crucial.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

Its called being a guy and this is what guys do.... They dont think before they do things.... Try not to get so upset... Men are idiotic... Period.

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yeah boys are stupid lol my fh would do something like that..im sure he'll appologize later when he finally realizes that hes an iddiot

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Posted by misslychee

You shouldn' t be concerned with if you have a right to be upset, you are and you have vaild reasons to be,

I guess it depends on if your FI knows what a big challenge this for you to learn how to drive and that you need support. If he does, I think it was out of line what he did. I think you should tell him how much it bothered you and why. It's possible for people to not reaize that thier jokes maybe be very hurtful to people. I think the way that he responds to when you tell him that you were upset is crucial.

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yeah i hear ya. he does know that I'm deathly afraid of driving, he knows it makes me very nervous and he knows that I view my driving as a major hurdle. which is why it really hurt me that he found it funny to share that message and laugh with housemate in front of me. I feel like it just totally kills any progress i've made towards being more comfortable with driving. Now I don't even want FH to teach me how to drive anymore.

well first of all i want to say that i can totally relate to your fear of driving. I currently drive to and from work and locally but I still ( after six years ) can't drive on highways AND I have a really hard time parallel parking (like I usually just give up!) so you shouldn't feel bad about that it is pretty normal AND it sounds like you are taking steps to overcome your fear so good for you!

I don't think FH was trying to hurt your feelings BUT he did and you should tell him that! I am VERY sensitive about my driving and FH *still* makes fun of me for it. He always calls me a 'baby' and is VERY mean about it.

He isn't TRYING to hurt you but that really doesn't matter - he IS hurting you and maybe you can explain that to him when you are a little calmer.

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti


yeah i hear ya. he does know that I'm deathly afraid of driving, he knows it makes me very nervous and he knows that I view my driving as a major hurdle. which is why it really hurt me that he found it funny to share that message and laugh with housemate in front of me. I feel like it just totally kills any progress i've made towards being more comfortable with driving. Now I don't even want FH to teach me how to drive anymore.

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So I agree that with the other poster that you should tell him maybe when you are more calm how much it upset you and why. Dont' say that he is being a 'jerk' or 'insensitive, focus on trying to communicate your feelings. To avoid putting him on the defensive. I am sure that once he realizes why and how it was hurtful, that he would apologize.

I have been on the other side, I teased my FI about something and he told me that it really bothered him, this one joke that I had. I certainly didnt mean to hurt his feelings..but when I realized it bothered him..was it more important to me to continue the teasing and dismiss his feelings as being a baby, certainly not.

I'm really scared of driving too -- I've been in 2 major accidents (a passenger in each) and while it's gotten a lot better, I still have that fear.

He probably didnt realize it was a big deal (FH plays back my phone messages sometimes to make fun of the messages I'll leave him -- it makes me embarrassed but he does it because he thinks it is cute). Let him know that it upset you and talk it out. If he realizes how much it bothers oyu I doubt he'll do it again.

I think that was a very insensitive thing for your FH do do. I would be upset too. I don't think it should be excused because guys are jerks. This guy is going to be your husband-you guys are going to be a permanent team and it was really insensitive for him to display one of your most vulnerable moments for an audience to hear and then laugh at it--even if he didn't mean it maliciously or if the audience was just one other person. I could feel in your post that it really hurt and upset you. He needs to know that.

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

so, FH just played back a message I left him on his voicemail where I was freaking out because the car was rolling back and I thought it only did that if u had ur foot on the gas in reverse...because my mom told me her jeep doesn't roll back and I'm not a driver so I thought it was abnormal. he played it on speakerphone in front of me and my housemate and he and my housemate were laughing and then he asked me to go driving.

I don't even want to go driving anymore. I just feel what he just did is so very discouraging and hurtful. I didn't know any better and for him to make fun of the fact that I don't know these things when he knows that me trying to drive is a VERY big hurdle I'm trying to overcome (I'm deathly afraid of driving) just seems really insensitive and mean. I feel like crying right now and I don't know if I'm just overly emotional or overreacting or what but I'm really upset by this.

what do you girls think? am I upset over nothing?

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Hon, DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M ROOTING FOR YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Dad did the same thing to my Mom, and she gave up. Don't let it get to ya!!!!!!!!!!!
Mary MOB

I'm sorry you are afraid of driving. Not to defend your fh, but maybe he was just trying to make lite (did I spell that right??) of the situation...I don't think he purposely wanted to tease you and hurt your feelings. I'm sure he knows how this is a big obstacle for you and he's try to lighten up the situation by making you laugh