really twobugs???

your expressed written consent, huh????
i'm with you! but i feel nervous that the band won't be cooperative.

If the band won't cooperate, I'd pick another band!
I was kind of joking, but music is VERY important to me. I will be heavily involved in the music selection process, whether we decide to have a band or DJ. I realize that band/DJ's are professionals and do this exact thing for a living, but - mark my words - my voice WILL be heard!

(Can you say 'micro-manager'??)

can you call my band for me

You are too cute!
You will be fine! You would not be the first bridezilla they have had to deal with!
But seriously, just go in with very detailed 'do not play' and 'must play' lists. Let them know that you have spent a lot of time thinking about the kind of music you want played at your wedding (musicians love it when other people are as passionate about music as they are), and I'm sure they will be happy to comply with the vast majority of your wishes.
Good luck!!

thanks.
but the thing is, my FH picked them...my FSIL has known this band forever...she's used them for all her occasions...so we just didn't even look at any other bands...didn't even consider any other options.
they're italian...and they're older...
they're singer is young...she used to sing with the cover bands in the bars on Long island (ie Dublin pub)
so...maybe she'll be the saving grace.

They sound great! Don't let this bug you - everything always works out for the best!!