Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

I haven't spoken to one of my bridesmaids in more than a month now!!! One or two things may be bothering her:
1. I am getting married and she's not (jealousy)
2. I had one of my other friends living at my apt. (that she doesn't like) while she was looking for her own apt.
The thing that bothers me the most is that it is probably based on sheer stupidity. I know that maybe I should pick up the phone but I am really hurt. It is not like I have lived this wonderful privileged life!!! I have been dealing with many issues for most of my life most recent being the death of my mother five years ago which I am still dealing with!! In many ways, my wedding, though wonderful, will be very bittersweet and she knows that!!! If I were in her situation, I would be happy for a friend who finally experienced happiness!!!
Its almost funny, when I first came to this board I read all the posts about how you really find out who your friends are when you get married!! Now I know!! Thanks for letting me vent!

Re: Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

Re: Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

I know, its just so hard to pick up that phone!!! I don't know what to expect!!!! I keep on feeling that I did something horrible!!!(Which I didn't!)

Re: Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

Hi I agree that you should be the first one to pick up the phone. It is so funny cause I realized alot of people that I thought would be supportive no matter what really weren't. My finace had warned me because a friend of his at work told him that people will show their true colors when you are engaged and planning a wedding. Also I'm getting married 9/5/04 also!!

Re: Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

Ya never know until you try!! Pick up the phone (maybe when you know she isn't home) and leave a nice message....

Re: Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

I'm sure if you made the first call, you'd feel much better about it. There are a couple of my BM's that are insanely jealous over the fact that I am getting married. But their day will come and when it does I will be happy for them and not shallow like they have been to me in the past.

Re: Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

I have to agree - I was really surprised at how people reacted COMPLETELY opposite of what I expected. My closest friend from childhood (who is also a BM and is already married, so no jealousy there) is more interested in how often she cleans her kitchen floos than anything about my wedding. It's not like I expect constant interest, but if she's going to be a bridesmaid, could you show some interest in what you'll be wearing? On the other hand I asked my sister, who I was not close to, to be my MOH, and it's been a true bonding experience. She's been the most helpful person, investigating hotels and makeup artists and just overall suggestions for everything. It's brought us so much closer. I guess planning a wedding brings out the best (and worst) in people. It's a shame that a joyful, happy event like a wedding seems to be an excuse for some people to act out and air their childhood issues or something.

Re: Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

I'm in a similar situation ... one of my close girlfriends has accepted to be a BM but I NEVER hear from her. I left her a message a few weeks ago but she STILL has not called me back. Granted..I do have a while until my wedding day but my concern is whether or not I can rely on her. She lives out of state too which makes it ever the more difficult. I don't think that she is envious or is ignoring me intentionally...I just think that she has her own life going on which is great but still leaves me concerned. I'm thinking of approaching her with how I feel and my concerns but don't want to hurt her. However, I think that I need to be honest about my concern.

Re: Really upset with one of BM's (vent)

Thanks ladies for all the advice!!! I am just having major problems dealing with ANY stress right now!!!!