reception entrance dilemma

i have a little dilemma:
my fi 's birth mom and dad are divorced ( have been for about 20 years now) they both remarried about 15 years ago, my fi father got sole custody of my fi and his 'step mother ' raised him as her own. FI's birth mother is remarried also but his step father hasnt been a father figure though. And to make matters worse just recently fi birth father has left stepmother for ow and is suing for divorce(they are not on speaking terms)
birth mother and step father are still married

my question- how do these people get announced in!!

also fi birth mother who basically gave her child over to fi father 20 yrs wants hugh recognition as being mother of the groom when she doesnt really deserve it ( she hasnt basically given 2 s**ts until now)

and step mother who has raised fi as her own has helped us out big time with the wedding financially whereas brith mother and birth father have not offered a dime!!

sorry- so long as you can see this is very complicated

how do i announce this family- i am stressing!!!

Re: reception entrance dilemma

You can have them introduced separately with their husband/wife

like 'here is the groom's mother Mrs. Smith escorted by her husband, blah blah.. ' You could even get cute and add a little something about each of them as they get introduced...instead of doing it like I had originally stated..

Re: reception entrance dilemma

Too complicated!! I thought my family was bad (with just stepparents).
Is not announcing them an option? I have been to weddings before when the parents weren't announced.
Good luck! Sounds like you need it!

Re: reception entrance dilemma

i was thinking of not announcing them but my parents who have played MAJOR roles in my life as wonderful parents and supporters need to be announced - imo its their day as well as mine.

Re: reception entrance dilemma

I do agree that, for a lot of us, it is our parents' day to. I am thinking maybe you could announce all of his 'parents ' at the same time (as to prevent conflict between his birthfather and stepmother). Would that sound funny?

Re: reception entrance dilemma

If they have another child you can have them escort them 'Mrs X escorted by her son, grandosn, etc ...' I am having my dad introduced as 'the brides father escorted by his wife jane' I would deffinatly talk to your DJ. They deal with this stuff all the time. Best of luck

Re: reception entrance dilemma

I would not introduce them, and here is why:

I am in a similar situation, my parents separated YEARS ago, but never divorced. My dad has a girlfriend. She will be at the wedding, but not because I want her there. I mean, technically my parents are still married. There is NO WAY I am introducing my dad and having him escorted by his girlfriend, and there is no one else to escort him (my parents are NOT on speaking terms) and I can't have him walk in alone. So, even though I totally agree that it is my parents' day as well as my own (especially since my dad is paying for the wedding and walking me down the aisle) I will not have them introduced. It just makes my life easier and they will have to deal with it.

Long story - short... it is STILL their day and always will be whether you introduce them or not. They are (all) your parents and don't need introductions. Save yourself the stress and son't introduce them.

If you want to do something to honor them, say a little something at the wedding thanking them all for their support, or list their names in the wedding program or something like that.

Re: reception entrance dilemma

Welcome to my world! I made the decision NOT to do ANY introduction and avoid all problems- or so I thought. My stepmother was really mad over my decision and felt I was taking something away from her. But I stuck to my decision. I know it is the right one. Why worry about having people upset over the way they are introduced, who walks in who. And should you have to introduce this new mistress of your FFIL? I think not. It sounds like there will be enough things going on between these people that day. Just introduce you and your FH and leave it at that.
If someone is upset over your decision, just tell them that etiquette does not dicate that introductions are necessary (it is true, I looked it up) and that your decision is made.

Re: reception entrance dilemma

What do you do when My fi's father isn't invited.. I say HE IS NOT COMMING!

Do I have to announce the mother alone?

Re: reception entrance dilemma

I agree with MarcellaBella. I would announce the stepmother escorted by blah blah blah.
You decide what you and FH would feel best doing. Its your day and your decision.

Re: reception entrance dilemma

Well, if she has another son who is not in the BP, he can escort her. Or, if her father is still alive, he can also escort her (at my brother's wedding, my mother was escorted at the ceremony by her father.) Or, any other male family member if there is one (her brother or something.)

Otherwise, this is another situation where I would say not to introduce.

Re: reception entrance dilemma

would it be horrible to announce my parents only

Re: reception entrance dilemma

You said his stepmother has helped out a lot. I think she would be hurt if you left her out.

Re: reception entrance dilemma

of course i would prefer to just announce his step mom becuase she is great

Re: reception entrance dilemma

Honestly- YES. Do not just announce one set of parents. It is either ALL or NONE.
You can discuss the problems with your parents and see what they think but from my understanding when you are worried that there might be a problem with something during the wedding, there will be. His mother is NOT going to take second-position. You are going to have a lot of issues with this if you do the introductions.

Re: reception entrance dilemma

I think the best thing to do is ask your entertainment,or ask the same question on the vendor board.Hope everything works out for you always a tuff thing to deal with.