Regarding Churches

I have posted about my dilemna regarding church choice for the wedding. My parish is not air conditioned ( -not good for a july wedding), and I feel that my fiance's church would be too much of a rush between ceremony and reception hall (we would barely make the cocktail hour, which I realy would like to attend).

Do you know if churches allow non-parishioners to wed in their churches? Do they charge an additional fee or is it just not acceptable?

If you're Catholic, don't count on it (although definitely try). I am a parishioner (through my family) of a church in Long Island but I live in the Bronx. So I called a church in Yonkers to see if I could get married there. The lady said (rudely, I might add, I was very put off) that ONLY parishioners could get married there because if they let 'just anyone' (and I said I would join the parish beforehand) since there are men and women that have lived in the parish all their lives that might want to get married there and if I take a date they want, it's not fair (as if they would know who took the date, but I do understand their reasoning).

I then talked to my own parish priest on Long Island and I had said that originally I wanted to get married at my college's chapel but we couldn't find an affordable reception site. He said (and I was nervous so I am not sure I got it right) that if you are in that parish, you cannot get married outside of the parish without some sort of note. Again, that is in case you want to practice bigamy - the Church you belong to will know you are already married (LOL I think that is true, if I got it right, I found it amusing. Alot of what the priest todl me that day is blurry - I was really nervous for some reason). But it seems that the overall consensus is that if you or your fiance don't belong to the parish, they won't let you get married there. However, like I said try anyway. If you are Catholic and live in Nassau or Suffolk, call the Diocese office at 516-678-5800 and ask for whatever dept. handles that sort of thing and they can help you. Maybe some churches will do it if they are in a small town and don't have alot of weddings.

I think Protestant churches are a bit more leinent on this matter, but since I am Catholic I don't know that for sure. When in doubt, ask.

Good luck
Mary

BriBri - It depends on the church, honestly, I have heard problems with Protestant churches also.

FH & I are getting married in a church that neither one of us belong to & they did not give us a problem. & it is a R.C. church.

What area are you looking in.... and what church do you belong to now?

We just had to get permission from FH church & call the Diocese of Rockville Center & explain that the Diocese of Brooklyn is allowing us to use their church, but we can still do the pre-cana in L.I.

It was a bit more work, but worth it!

BriBri529,

FH and I are getting married in my grandmother's parish. She passed away 11 years ago but was active in the church so the church is allowing us to marry there. Also, my uncle is still a parishoner. I think it depends on the church really.

I did, however, have to get a letter from my parish (even though I have never even been to that church) to say it's okay that I marry outside the parish.

FM me if you want more info.
Eileen