Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

quirkybride Posted: Feb 01, 2011 05:51 AM

Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Is there a polite way to get this message out to guests? What we'd really like is to save up for a house. Don't want to be offensive or seem stingy.

IrishAli Posted: Feb 01, 2011 07:06 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

That is why we did a Honeymoon registry!

We registered for about 80 'things' (including individual bowls, cups, etc) and then on our website let people know that we are moving to a small apartment and would they please consider looking at our HM registry

anjelagain Posted: Feb 01, 2011 07:51 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by IrishAli

That is why we did a Honeymoon registry!

We registered for about 80 'things' (including individual bowls, cups, etc) and then on our website let people know that we are moving to a small apartment and would they please consider looking at our HM registry

Which registry did you use??? Im having the hardest time finding one-

And no you cannot ask for money for your shower!! But, like the honeymoon registry you can register somewhere like that, or home depot (forced giftcards) and Im sure there's other options like that.

AugustFeather Posted: Feb 01, 2011 08:15 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

I am in the same boat! We registered for some stuff at Crate and Barrel, other than that we dont need anything! I was going to also do the honeymoon registry, but I am not crazy about the fees on some of them... I am going to speak to a travel agent more about it... but my Mom is sort of telling people we don't need anything, so if they don't want to go nuts looking for a gift, cash is always good I think thats the best way to handle it... People might ask whoever is throwing your shower what you need, so I think thats the best way to get the word out

JessNicole7EM Posted: Feb 01, 2011 08:27 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Out of the 80 people who came to my shower.. I think I may have received 1 cash gift, 2 gift cards.

Everyone else gives gifts. You can't ask for $ especially at a shower.

rmiller2255 Posted: Feb 01, 2011 09:05 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Our scheme was to do 2 registries one at Macy's and the other at Williams Sonoma. We have 55 things on it from Macy's and like 15 things from Williams Sonoma. We're hoping that people run out of the presents to buy us from the registry and just give us money!

I'm Russian and I know from my culture non one would buy us gifts, they would all give money but we did the registry for FH's side of the family..

Jennielee15 Posted: Feb 01, 2011 09:12 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Everyone keeps saying you can't ask for money at the shower. My problem isn't the shower It's the wedding. Most of my guests are coming from the west coast where gifts are customary at weddings. Showers are usually longerie. So I know I will be stuck with gifts at my wedding! No way around it.

anjelagain Posted: Feb 01, 2011 09:13 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by Jennielee15

Everyone keeps saying you can't ask for money at the shower. My problem isn't the shower It's the wedding. Most of my guests are coming from the west coast where gifts are customary at weddings. Showers are usually longerie. So I know I will be stuck with gifts at my wedding! No way around it.

Delete your registry a few months before the wedding. that will HELP

MrsTarricone2B Posted: Feb 01, 2011 09:18 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

My friend's registered at one store for their shower and then asked for Home Depot gift cards since they had just bought a house. Nobody found it rude and they got a good amount of gift cards.

Jennielee15 Posted: Feb 01, 2011 09:35 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by anjelagain
Posted by Jennielee15 Everyone keeps saying you can't ask for money at the shower. My problem isn't the shower It's the wedding. Most of my guests are coming from the west coast where gifts are customary at weddings. Showers are usually longerie. So I know I will be stuck with gifts at my wedding! No way around it.
Delete your registry a few months before the wedding. that will HELP

I can't! My shower is two days before my wedding.

justnicethings Posted: Feb 01, 2011 09:56 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Can't you return things from BBB for cash??
Or how about an Amazon registry. Register for a lifetime supply of toilet paper??

FutureMrsTlasek Posted: Feb 01, 2011 09:57 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

where did you register? All of my family is from out of state and I'm guessing will bring gifts, that is why we registered at bed bath and beyond...you can return gifts and get the $$$ for them!

quirkybride Posted: Feb 01, 2011 10:01 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by anjelagain

Posted by Jennielee15

Everyone keeps saying you can't ask for money at the shower. My problem isn't the shower It's the wedding. Most of my guests are coming from the west coast where gifts are customary at weddings. Showers are usually longerie. So I know I will be stuck with gifts at my wedding! No way around it.

Delete your registry a few months before the wedding. that will HELP

\

My concern with doing that is that people will still buy stuff, but then it'll be even more random

anjelagain Posted: Feb 01, 2011 10:02 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by Jennielee15

Posted by anjelagain

Posted by Jennielee15

Everyone keeps saying you can't ask for money at the shower. My problem isn't the shower It's the wedding. Most of my guests are coming from the west coast where gifts are customary at weddings. Showers are usually longerie. So I know I will be stuck with gifts at my wedding! No way around it.

Delete your registry a few months before the wedding. that will HELP
I can't! My shower is two days before my wedding.

Oh, .................

Ahhhhh!!! LOL. You need to think of something. I think there's a registry for honeymoons that just sends u a check?

So ive heard

anjelagain Posted: Feb 01, 2011 10:03 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by quirkybride

Posted by anjelagain

Posted by Jennielee15

Everyone keeps saying you can't ask for money at the shower. My problem isn't the shower It's the wedding. Most of my guests are coming from the west coast where gifts are customary at weddings. Showers are usually longerie. So I know I will be stuck with gifts at my wedding! No way around it.

Delete your registry a few months before the wedding. that will HELP
\

My concern with doing that is that people will still buy stuff, but then it'll be even more random

Imagine?? can people be that dumb, yeah i suppose.

anjelagain Posted: Feb 01, 2011 10:06 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by quirkybride

Is there a polite way to get this message out to guests? What we'd really like is to save up for a house. Don't want to be offensive or seem stingy.

Wait, i heard theres a 'house buying registry'

So u can look into that. I think its a nono..... but if its done right, give it a try

itbroi805 Posted: Feb 01, 2011 10:24 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

so there are mortgage registries but I agree that most people give gifts at the shower and money at the wedding.

Make your registry and BBB because you can return stuff for cash!

anjelagain Posted: Feb 01, 2011 10:25 AM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by itbroi805

so there are mortgage registries but I agree that most people give gifts at the shower and money at the wedding.

Make your registry and BBB because you can return stuff for cash!

Is this really true?? Why would they do that lol

AugustFeather Posted: Feb 01, 2011 03:25 PM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Posted by anjelagain

Imagine?? can people be that dumb, yeah i suppose.

WOW.. I wouldn't really call someone who is BUYING you a gift DUMB.. honestly I am happy and grateful with whatever people choose to do. The most you can do is 'suggest' things via registry, do an online honeymoon registry or tell whoever is throwing your shower to mention to guests you could use cash.

Other than that the bottom line is people like your close FAMILY and FRIENDS might want to choose a nice gift that they think you would APPRECIATE. But I guess weddings and gifts are all about being selfish now???... quite a sense of entitlement there.

Jesebelle Posted: Feb 01, 2011 03:32 PM

Re: Registries: If what you really need is $ and not stuff

Don't make a huge registry. Make it small and fill it with things you really want and can use. Like really nice sheets, towels, maybe an upgraded toaster oven. THink about it for day, what would you really like to upgrade or what do you need that you don't have. If you tried to make a recipe and it called for a mixer or a dutch oven, do you have those? Keep it to a nice edited list and when it's run out, it's out and then hopefully people will get you gift cards at that point.
The whole point of a shower is to get actual gifts. Opening them is a huge part of the party!
As for the wedding, tell your mother to tell people that ask what to get you that you would rather have cash so you can buy a house.