Registry Issue/Vent

Ok, so i have read all about how many of the brides on here are having a bridal shower and who ever plans the shower tells people about the registry.

I am not having a shower, not all of us have friends/family that can afford it. I am thank to just have them there for the wedding. But i have been told its tacky to include the registry info with the invite.

Someone stated that to include it with the invite implies that you are expecting a gift and that its wrong to ask for money/gift cards. My QUESTION is how is that any different from a couple creating a registry and then having someone else send out the information showing the couple went to several different stores to make sure the gifter had 'options'? Better yet the fact that i have seen that some brides register for the shower and add more items after for the wedding. Does that not imply that your seeking something/reumibursement for people attending.

This is not to offend anyone, just needed to vent.

I dont think its meant to offend anyone. Its customary to register for gifts and if your guests would like to purchase from it then can but they are in no way obligated. I had a few gifters who went off the registry. I think guests like to have options and buy things that the couples need.

I had a surprise shower so my girls put the shower cards from BBB with the invite. HTH

I totally get what you mean. If you include a registry card in your invite it looks like you are seeking gifts. If you are registering in the first place you obviously want gifts. The whole wedding etiquette thing is getting out of hand.

You should do what is best for you. People are always going to have something to say regardless. People are going to either buy you a gift or not give anything (whether you are registered or not).

If you are not comfortable putting registry cards with your invites you could always have someone spread the word in your family.

I was once told that back in the day it was bad etiquette & rude to send a response card. Guests were expected to send the couple a handwritten note responding. Now it's considered good etiquette to send a response card with a pre-stamped envelope. I am confident that one day that will change as well. Don't stress too much over the etiquette thing. Your wedding day will outshine something so small.

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Posted by cupcake8503

I totally get what you mean. If you include a registry card in your invite it looks like you are seeking gifts. If you are registering in the first place you obviously want gifts. The whole wedding etiquette thing is getting out of hand.

You should do what is best for you. People are always going to have something to say regardless. People are going to either buy you a gift or not give anything (whether you are registered or not).

If you are not comfortable putting registry cards with your invites you could always have someone spread the word in your family.

I was once told that back in the day it was bad etiquette & rude to send a response card. Guests were expected to send the couple a handwritten note responding. Now it's considered good etiquette to send a response card with a pre-stamped envelope. I am confident that one day that will change as well. Don't stress too much over the etiquette thing. Your wedding day will outshine something so small.

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Thank you, for this response. Now i no longer feel as i am going crazy.

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Posted by Marty

Just a suggestion - put registry info on your wedding website and put the website somewhere in the information. Our website on mywedding linked straight to our registry, but there was also just information about the wedding plans on the site, so it wasn't like a direct request for a gift. More just a place to get information. Also let those closest to you know where you're registered in case people ask them. Some guests may not visit the site, but are likely to ask someone. I know a lot of people asked my mom and my sister.

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Thanks, I have a wedding website thru the knot and on it have a page for the registry. I know must of our friends will look but the older people in the family arent computer savy. We are choosing not to do a traditional registry,only a gift card registry.

this is what i wrote on the page:

Please know that gifts are not required

If you choose to give, we are dearly honored.

Since we are already a family at this time

We feel that gift cards suit us fine.

This way nothing we like can be discontinued

Follow the link and see where it sends you.