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Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Kristen29 Posted:

Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Neither one of us is really overly religious and odn't really have a specific church either of us belonged to. We called around for officiants and they were all around $600....my FH's friend got married a few months ago and recommended his reverend that did his wedding for $150!!! We met with Reverend Lehman....he is very old..and we had to repeat things several times for him....he kept calling my fh mark (his name is mike) and me christina (my name is kristen)...he finally got them right by the end and had a nice speech picked out. I called him the other day because I am making my programs and again he kept saying both of our names wrong. I asked him if he was familiar with the sand ceremony that we are doing..he said he never heard of it and to send him a speech he should say. I am just really worried that he is going to say our names wrong on the day of!!! I am regretting going with him just cuase he was cheaper...what would you do? Should I be really worried??

We paid him the $150 in advance...do you think he would refund us if we told him we were going with someone else?? I don't know what to do!!! Is it too close to the wedding to change?? (wedding is july 21) I'm getting very nervous!
the future mrs m Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

i woudn't use him. you dont need any regrets.

PrincessJen Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Posted by Kristen29

Neither one of us is really overly religious and odn't really have a specific church either of us belonged to. We called around for officiants and they were all around $600....my FH's friend got married a few months ago and recommended his reverend that did his wedding for $150!!! We met with Reverend Lehman....he is very old..and we had to repeat things several times for him....he kept calling my fh mark (his name is mike) and me christina (my name is kristen)...he finally got them right by the end and had a nice speech picked out. I called him the other day because I am making my programs and again he kept saying both of our names wrong. I asked him if he was familiar with the sand ceremony that we are doing..he said he never heard of it and to send him a speech he should say. I am just really worried that he is going to say our names wrong on the day of!!! I am regretting going with him just cuase he was cheaper...what would you do? Should I be really worried??

We paid him the $150 in advance...do you think he would refund us if we told him we were going with someone else?? I don't know what to do!!! Is it too close to the wedding to change?? (wedding is july 21) I'm getting very nervous!


I would be worried. Even though he's cheaper the last thing you want is to have to correct him with your names during the ceremony. I suggest finding someone else you like before cancelling him.
MrsQ-in2007 Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

I personally would be EXTREMELY upset if my officiant called me or my FH by another name during our wedding ceremony!!!

I would look for someone else and once you have a new person, I would let the officiant know you no longer need his services.
heatherandrichie Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

you have FM

Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

I would be a little bit worried, too... do you correct him when he says your names incorrectly?? What does he say then?

DebandBob Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

If it were me, I would choose someone else. As you've now discovered, there's a reason why this guy is so cheap. You only get one chance at your wedding ceremony, so I would bite the bullet and shell out the extra cash for someone I can trust to get my name right!

lacey&mark Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

you don't want your ceremony looking like an episode of that new reality show, wedding crashers! i would definitely hire someone else. tell him that you decided to go with someone else and ask if he could refund you some of the money you paid since he wont be doing the service. i can recommend my officiant, father joe. he charges $500. good luck and go with your gut!

Soon2beMrsH Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

If you are worried it is probably for good reason. I would start looking for someone else whether he is willing to give the money back or not.
Good luck!
SusiB Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Most definitely choose another officiant.

As everyone else posted, you don't want to stress out if this guy gets your names wrong, is not familiar with the sand ceremony, etc.
It's not easy, but be up front with him (after you secure another !) about why you are switching officiants. It is YOUR comfort factor that is the most important because it is YOUR ceremony.
I'm going with Dr. Janine Burns, she officiated at a friend's wedding and FH and I really liked her. Met her in person and she's great. FH and I are of different religions and are not religous, but mixing in a bit of spirituality and some traditions.
dgirl Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

I would go with someone else...as it gets closer you'll probably get stressed about the ceremoy even if you have confidence in the officiant (I did), but it sounds like you've got good reason to stress. Did you have good chemistry with this officiant?

LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

You have FM

DrWho Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Let go of the $150 for the love of god and get someone else!

Snickers76 Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Posted by DrWho

Let go of the $150 for the love of god and get someone else!


I agree. 100%.
M&S Sept12006 Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Definitely go with somebody else...not worth the embarrasment...

pixiechickie Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Posted by DrWho

Let go of the $150 for the love of god and get someone else!

Agreed!!
brady37 Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

Your officiant is what makes the day special! The wedding is all about the ceremony and the emtions you feeling during it! You don't want to be annoyed because your officiant doesn't get your names right! I would ask for your money back and if he doesn't give it to you then I will still go elsewhere. Like one of the girls said... you don't want to regret it in the end and the $150 loss will be worth it!

failurebydsign Posted:

Re: Regreting choosing my officiant....what would you do?

get a friend or family member to do it..its much more personal and you wont be nervous..and you can do ti for free..

thats what im doing

FH best friend is doing ours and i couldnt be happier..were are both against a religious ceremony and thought what better person to marry us then someone that knows up better than anyone

we also have complete creative control over the entire ceremony

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