rehearsal dinner

Hi- I am having my ceremony at the hall and half my bridal party is from out of town- so a formal rehearsal ahead of time is out of the question. Unfortunately we will have to show up at the hall early and do a quick run through before the ceremony. But I still want to have a sort of rehearsal with those who are local and in the party. So I was thinking about having an informal cookout at my house the weekend before the wedding. (this way we can invite more than just the people in the party)What do you all think? We have a big deck we can practice on. All everyone really needs to know is when they walk in and where to stand right? (and how to leave)

So, after spending like 2 hours on line, I've discovered that my dress is designed by Catherine Rayner. She's a UK designer. Has a website but my dress is not pictured, and I can't find it anywhere. Oh well, I'll keep looking.

rehearsal dinner

Stacy- I think that is a good idea. I am also having the ceremony at the hall, but wanted to have a dinner beforehand. My problem is that I thought the grooms family was supposed to host the dinner, and they have not said anything (even though I have hinted several times). My fiance will not ask them. My parents have already spent a ton of money and so have we, so we were thinking of a barbecue at my parents. Any advise on how I can approach his parents on paying for a rehersal dinner would be appreciated.

I went to a girlfriend's wedding this weekend, and they did something so cute, I HAD to share with you ladies.

rehearsal dinner

Personally- I would just go ahead and tell them your plans about having a bbq at your parents. If they don't offer to do something else then, they never will. You already have a plan just in case this happens- therefore- no worries! I like the idea of a cookout. Its informal and relaxing. There will be enough of "doing things right" at the wedding- this is a good opportunity to really kick back and relax with your family and bridal party. This is more economical too- you can invite whoever you want to. You can also take your time with everything at a cookout. Good luck to you!!! Stacy

Good Luck and try to keep your cool - I know it's not easy.

rehearsal dinner

stacy - thanks - do I have to invite my future in-laws???

THANK YOU ONE AND ALL!

Hi, Colleen!

rehearsal dinner

Hi there. So your fiance wont ask his parents if they'll host the rehearsal dinner? Do you have anyone else that can ask his family? Does he have a sister? Or maybe one of your bridesmaid that has some kind of relationship with the family? Just an idea. At least you still have a plan, like Lorraine said. And a bbq is great. We're planning something similar. As for inviting your inlaws- I think it might be a good idea, since you are marrying into the family. Don't want to casue any friction. Good luck.

Or simply invite the folks back to someone's house (yours, inlaws) for coffee and cake. It kinda rounds out the evening and does provide a nice environment for everyone to chat. It was one of my nicest memories and I'm glad I did it.

rehearsal dinner

I think a rehersal dinner is supposed to be the wedding party, parents, and any additional people who are involved (like readers, etc.). And, out-of-town guests are generally included as a courtesy for them to be included since they may have nothing else to do (although with NYC so close, they'll probably have plenty to do elsewhere...it's still a courtesy).

rehearsal dinner

You think you have problems...my problem is worse... My fiance's parents did offer to pay. That is the problem. They offered nothing for the wedding which my parents are paying for 100% (Of course, which I am more than grateful for, especially sice my brother is getting married 3 weeks before...YIKES!!!) Anyway, my fiance's parents live in NH and are not used to these prices and have no idea what to expect. My fiance won't talk about $$$ with them b/c he feels like they should give what they can or want...which I agree totally with, except that I can't plan anything without knowing what the budget is. They told him to book a place and they will send a $500 deposit. GREAT!!! But what happens after the dinner when the bill comes??? Pplease help me be diplomatic.

can you give me directions on how to get there? i remember going there as a little girl with my grandma for craft supplies, but i have no idea where it is. i'm coming from port jefferson. thanks! happy planning,leighann

Have the dinner beforehand, or just have desert (cake/coffee) afterwards since a full dinner that late may be too heavy before bedtime :-)

rehearsal dinner

If your fi won't do it, call his mom and explain the situation. It will avoid problems and make your life easier since you can plan with time. Good luck.

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rehearsal dinner

That is the whole problem... He won't let me call or discuss it with them. He feels that I would make them feel uncomfortable if they said they could only spend a certain amount and it isn't true. I think my fi just wants control over some aspect of this wedding and this is what he chose. Of course he is involved in the other stuff, but really it is me doing all the planning because he waits too long to get somehting done.

I know I will have some out of town guests staying at the hotel Sat. The rehearsal and dinner will be sat night. Wedding on sunday.

My question is, I feel I need to do something for the overnight guests but I can't afford to pay for all the additional dinners. They may total another 10 or more people. At $15-$20 a head that is an additional $150 -200.

rehearsal dinner

RACHEL - IT SOUNDS LIKE WE ARE MARRYING THE SAME PERSON... MY FIANCE TOOK CARE OF THE HONEYMOON AND FEELS LIKE HE DID SO MUCH!! HIS PARENTS NEVER MENTIONED THE REHERSAL DINNER (EVEN THOUGH I HAVE HINTED SEVERAL TIMES) AND MY FIANCE WONT ASK THEM AND THINKS THAT I SHOULD. I FEEL THAT IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO ASK THEM (I AM FEELING A LITTLE RESENTMENT TOWARD HIS FAMILY) SINCE THEY HAVE DONE ABSOULUTLY NOTHING BUT CRITICIZE!!!!!!!!

Hi Sue!

Good luck with your search. I was very impressed with Patken's professinalism as well as how honest they were with pricing and how to get the most for your money. They really showed us ways to save and was able to make a custom package to our needs. We booked reight on the spot. I am a picture person and decided that I'd rather get a bigger photo package than a video. I didn't even look at theirs though. Patken's style was more for us then the "posed" look of some other places.

rehearsal dinner

It is amazing how those who don't participate have the most to say about your decisions...isn't it?!?

Good luck with your search. I was very impressed with Patken's professinalism as well as how honest they were with pricing and how to get the most for your money. They really showed us ways to save and was able to make a custom package to our needs. We booked reight on the spot. I am a picture person and decided that I'd rather get a bigger photo package than a video. I didn't even look at theirs though. Patken's style was more for us then the "posed" look of some other places.

rehearsal dinner

Lorraine;

You could try the subtle approach, just act is if you assumed they were arranging it - ask MIL or FIL "I was wondering what plans have you made for the traditional rehearsal dinner? Do you need addresses or phone numbers for invitations to my attendants and families?"

Or perhaps "My family and attendants have been asking what plans you are making for the rehearsal dinner so they can mark it on their calendars - what should I tell them?"

rehearsal dinner

Karen - I have been thinking about a way to phrase it to his parents - what you said is fantastic, and I will call them tonight - thank you so much for your help - it is so perfect!!!

You only need to tip over that for the Maitre'D and the bridal attendant. That is how mine is at the Milleridge.

Or perhaps "My family and attendants have been asking what plans you are making for the rehearsal dinner so they can mark it on their calendars - what should I tell them?"