Rehearsal Dinner Invite expected?

Do you all invite your out of town guests to rehearsal dinners?

I was at a wedding in Chicago this weekend and a few months back, the bride (my friend from Chicago) told us three friends coming from NYC that we weren't going to be invited to the rehearsal dinner with our dates. We know that this was not her doing...though her husband's parents are insanely wealthy, they didn't want to contribute much to wedding so they were only holding a rehearsal dinner for their family coming in from NYC (he grew up in Manhattan). We felt bad for the bride who definitely was embarrassed that we weren't included and wanted to invite us. We weren't too happy that we were flying to Chicago for the weekend and only being part of the festivities for a 5-hour period.

About a month ago, the bride extended an invitation to all three of us and our dates to the rehearsal dinner and we all accepted. The funny thing was that at the rehearsal dinner, we were the only non-bridal party people from the bride's side. Granted, all three of us girls were either a bridesmaid or in my case, a greeter, but we were definitely outcasts. The step-FMIL even came up to us and said, 'Oh,so you are the girls from NYC that the bride wanted to invite!'

We all flew to Chicago for the wedding and were paying $150+ a night for the hotel...is it strange to not invite all of out of town guests? My FH and I are planning a huge rehearsal dinner BBQ because we have so many out of town guests but we can't afford to spend a lot on it so we are doing a very low key dinner. Granted, nothing is even being rehearsed at mine!

Is it wrong to expected to be invited if you are flying in for a wedding?

all of my family & friends only invite those involved in the wedding to their rehearsal dinner. we will be doing the same.

our RD guest list includes the following:
our parents, FHs grandmother, MOH & bridesmaids & their significant others, best man & groomsmen, & flower girls & ring boy & their parents (my brother & SIL).

those are the only people we are including. this is also because we will be having the RD a week before the wedding so any OOT guests will not be here yet.

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Posted by christine2010

those are the only people we are including. this is also because we will be having the RD a week before the wedding so any OOT guests will not be here yet.

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Ahhh good point! I keep forgetting that mine will be the week before (my church only does the rehearsal on Saturdays). Scratch what I said before. Mine will probably be just immediate family, BP members (and their spouses) and a few other close friends.

You definitely should have been invited.

I went to a wedding out of state last year with FH. FH was a groomsmen and I still wasn't invited to the RD the night before the wedding. We had to drive to the state a day before so he could be there for the rehearsal & Dinner; so was fuming when they announced the dinner was only for the groomsmen/bridesmaids. Luckily there was another spouse/significant other that was shocked and we had dinner together while our men were at the RD. That's just absurd; especially since FH was told well in advance that it wouldn't be a problem for me to come to the dinner since we were coming from OOT; but then again the fact that we had to ask should have alerted me! Ugh-a year later & I'm still annoyed about that! LOL!

If I choose to only have my bridal party i will do the RD several days before the wedding; and I'll probably do a big informal get together the night before for my OOT guests.

We're having a 'RD' a week before just for bridal party and parents etc, to get everyone together and thank them for their involvement in our wedding, give gifts, etc.

My parents are hosting a little event (TBD) the night before for OOT on our side to keep them entertained and make a weekend out of it. I do not want to see FH the day before so it would be difficult to invite his OOT and not him!! (LOL).