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rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

iwannabmrsD Posted:

rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

my mom is doing the engagement party.. she wants to and it's not problem.. fh and agreed to ask his folks to do the rehearsal dinner. at a restaurant.

he tells me tonight his parents want to do it at their house.. .. uh .... how bout NO!! in your house? like INSIDE? it' ain't big enough.. and who is spose to cook for this? i'm not cooking for the rehearsal dinner.. this isn't a cook out..

and we're talking bout a 45 minute drive from the church to the rehearsal dinner.. why do they have to be so difficult.. fh's dad said 'he doesn't know of any restaurants in long island' so that's his reason.. UGH.. i told fh if they have it at his house.. I'm not going!
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

LOL - we have the exact OPPOSITE problem! My future in-laws are giving us a certain amount of money towards the wedding, and they are saying the rehersal dinner money has to come out of it. We'd rather use the majority of that money so that we can have a band rather than a DJ. We called my FMIL last night to tell her that we wanted to keep the rehersal dinner VERY low key. My parents have a backyard that was featured in Better Homes and Gardens, so we suggested having it catered in the backyard so that it coudl still be 'nice' but could be MUCH cheaper. She basically said no way and that this is 'her responsibility' and she's in control and picking everything. I was SO annoyed. It's nice of them to give us money, but we were really counting on it for other things when they originally said we could use it for anything.

Do you need help with restaurants?? Maybe if you come up with a place near your church that will solve the problem of not 'knowing' any places on Long Island.
musicgrl79 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

oh id be pissed also. thats just being cheap!! there are sooo many retsaurants on long island. and besides who wants to be bothered cooking aND CLEANING UP?? UNLESS THEY HAVE IT CATERED AND HIRE SERVERS!! sorry about the caps lock. my finger hit it and i didnt want to re write it!! lol

iwannabmrsD Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

music, u said what i didnt want to.. yes it's just being cheap.. my mom is footing a 40-50 person engagement party on her own and she's doing it at a restaurant. this is going to be maybe 30 people tops and u wanna squeeze us all into u'r living room? for what? so we can sit on the couch and look at each other?

liek i said if it's at his house.. i'm not going.

we considered doin the engagement party in my mom's backyard but by the time we added up the cost of the tent, the chairs, the tables, the table cloths the food ,etc etc etc... it came out cheaper to do it at a restaurant.. what i found online (need to call tomorrow to verify) is much cheaper all around..

so they have to find a restaurant to do the rehearsal dinner in..

Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

sorry you are having this issue
i hope it all works out for you guys
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

Posted by iwannabmrsD

music, u said what i didnt want to.. yes it's just being cheap.. my mom is footing a 40-50 person engagement party on her own and she's doing it at a restaurant. this is going to be maybe 30 people tops and u wanna squeeze us all into u'r living room? for what? so we can sit on the couch and look at each other?

liek i said if it's at his house.. i'm not going.

we considered doin the engagement party in my mom's backyard but by the time we added up the cost of the tent, the chairs, the tables, the table cloths the food ,etc etc etc... it came out cheaper to do it at a restaurant.. what i found online (need to call tomorrow to verify) is much cheaper all around..

so they have to find a restaurant to do the rehearsal dinner in..



What town is your church in? I was born on the south shore and raised on the north shore in suffolk, and my whole family is from nassau, so chances are i might know a place nearby wherever it is! Hope I can help.
angl2001 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

we are gonna have ours in our backyard! Thats another expense we dont need and as far as i know his parents arent giving us any $$!! so we r BBQing! if its gonna rain we will cook. its only gonna be like 20 or so people. its gonna be cheaper to go to BJs and get the food then to pay for everone to eat out!

Sorry she is being difficult i know how you feel! lol
maybe you can talk to her again and tell them that you know they are only giving so much and would really rather use it towards the 'wedding' instead of feeding people after the rehersal hope she comes around!
iwannabmrsD Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

Posted by Jess125483

Posted by iwannabmrsD

music, u said what i didnt want to.. yes it's just being cheap.. my mom is footing a 40-50 person engagement party on her own and she's doing it at a restaurant. this is going to be maybe 30 people tops and u wanna squeeze us all into u'r living room? for what? so we can sit on the couch and look at each other?

liek i said if it's at his house.. i'm not going.

we considered doin the engagement party in my mom's backyard but by the time we added up the cost of the tent, the chairs, the tables, the table cloths the food ,etc etc etc... it came out cheaper to do it at a restaurant.. what i found online (need to call tomorrow to verify) is much cheaper all around..

so they have to find a restaurant to do the rehearsal dinner in..



What town is your church in? I was born on the south shore and raised on the north shore in suffolk, and my whole family is from nassau, so chances are i might know a place nearby wherever it is! Hope I can help.


thanks!! the church is in Westbury....


we'd bbq, but the wedding is in Feb.. lol. prob wouldn't be too much fun.. 21 people aren't going to fit into their living room.. it's just NOT happening..
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

Westbury! Is it St. Brigid's? That's where my parents were married!

And you're in luck because my whole family is from Hicksville and Jericho and I work in Garden City.

Ok, so I don't know what your price range is, but here are some places you could check out:

Baci in Westbury on the corner of Old Country and Merrick Ave (literally right down the street from St. Brigid's and really good food).
Cafe Formaggio (Old Country Road, right by Meadowbrook Pkwy).
Wickers (Old Country Road and Newbridge Road, I think it's technically Hicksville).
Papa Razzi (Corner of Route 25 and Glen Cove Road in Westbury).
Vincent's Clam Bar (Old Country Road, right by Meadowbrook Pkwy).
Westbury Manor (I know it's a reception hall but they also have a restaurant, I think called the Polo Club).

Out of these places, I have been to Baci, Wickers, Cafe Formaggio and Vincent's. The other two are places I always drive by and mean to stop in but haven't yet! The food at Baci is GREAT, Wickers is more casual but we've but my family has had small-ish get togethers there, Cafe Formaggio is very good and if you like Italian, Vincent's is awesome.

I hope this helps!!!! If I think of more spots I'll tell you!
iwannabmrsD Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

thanks u'r great! nope it's not st. brigids, we're not catholic but i grew up in the area so i'm super familiar with that area.. i'mma take a look at baci.. i didn't know and cafe formagigio.. never been there.. yes vincents is GREAT!! i'm gonna look there also..

thanks a bunch!!
BNBride60 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

No problem - I really hope it works out. It's such a pain to have a problem with the inlaws ALREADY.

mnd1202 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

oh man....we made it clear to both of them that we didnt want to make anything a big deal......n they have no problem with it...my mom on the other hand is the pain lol

iwannabmrsD Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

well it looks like we can scratch the RD off the list. the inlaws wont pay for it. apparently after we explained that it cant be in their living room, it became the brides and grooms responsiblity to do. not the grooms parents.. and they threw in there that you are only spose to invite the members of the bridal party.. well we are only inviting members of the bridal party.. there are 21 of us..


so fh is like he'll take care of it but that translates into we'll take care of it and we can't afford it.. so i told him forget it we just wont do it and after we go through the run through at the church we'll just wave at everyone and tell them thank you for taking time out of ur work shcedule to do this for us, and... now u can go home.. nope, no dinner, no nothing as a token of our appreciation.... just go on home..


but yet they wanna invite his dad's best friend plus 2 guests to the engagement party.. ugh..

Mizzdimple Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

oh boy., is it a money issue? To avoid all problems I would just say to take care of it yourself!

Fall Bride 2008 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

technically the fh's parents usually take care of the rehersal dinner...therefore its usually their choice. If you disagree with their place of choice then it would leave you guys to do it instead if they arent going to let you pick where you want it. JMO

kellybean Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

Im so sorry you have to stress..over this ...do you think you could talk to them about it???

iwannabmrsD Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

u know what.. i would..

but i dont want to get into a pattern of my mom is always giving us and when we go to his folks they are like.. oh that's u'r responsbility.. if we could afford it we never would have asked in the first placve.. and the fact that u were all gung ho at first.. then it changed to.. i don't know any restaurants on LI lets do it here at the house ... to oh that's ur responsibility.. to well u'r onl spose to invite people in the wedding party, just pisses me off.. u'r giving excuses. and i don't have time for excuses..

why should my mom be dropping all of this money and his folks be sitting there doing nothing.. that just doesnt' seem right to me.

we are paying for everything ourselves and haven't asked anyone to help us with anything but the engagement party and the rehearsal dinner... this is gonna cost under a thousand.. and u can't help us with that?

i'm just turned off by it, the excuses and what not.... and i'm the type of chick who wil say fine.. we'll pay for it.. but u can't come.


AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

Posted by musicgrl79

oh id be pissed also. thats just being cheap!! there are sooo many retsaurants on long island. and besides who wants to be bothered cooking aND CLEANING UP?? UNLESS THEY HAVE IT CATERED AND HIRE SERVERS!! sorry about the caps lock. my finger hit it and i didnt want to re write it!! lol


I don't think it's being cheap... my FSIL was in a wedding this past winter that was at Oheka and they wanted to have the RD at their home. Some people just enjoy entertaining in their home and cooking for people.

The only problem I see with having the RD in your FIL's home is that it's so far away from the church, that's a hike for a lot of people... ask them to take that into consideration... you don't want your guests to be driving all over God's green earth 2 nights in a row for your wedding.

Dont worry, you have plenty of time to worry about the RD.
iwannabmrsD Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

i would almost say yes have it in u'r house.. if u'r house wasn't so small. which is why u' keep bringing up that it's only spose to be the bridal party.. well fine.. there are 21 people in the bridal party.and thats assuming we do'nt allow anyone to bring their SO.

and we ain't all gonna fit in u'r living room.. .



i'm just too through. i'm gonna go back to working on my wedding newsletter.. try to be the bigger person and not scratch out any references of his parents.. i'm working on not being mean.. cause part of me wants to tell them to go ahead and have the RD at their house and let them plan it and everything then the night of say i'm not going.

MrsD71208 Posted:

Re: rehearsal dinner.. my first problem with the inlaws..

Sorry to hear about the drama...you can argue the fact that buying food and supplies will cost just a little bit less than going to a reasonably priced restaurant, or a VFW....and say that noone has to worry about the clean up!

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