whos planning yours? FMIL insists she do it, but Im worried and I cant really talk to anyone about it. She is low on cash and is having it at my FBIL and FSIL's house. They have a decent sized house, but we have 29 people and 9 children and it tends to get crowded in there. Also FSIL NEVER cleans her house.
Fh's mom said she would clean in advance, but Im STILL worried. I said how bout dessert since it will be late on a weeknight and people dont want dinner and such at 8-8:30 at night, she said no, its dinner.
FH feels if he puts his foot down and says we will pay to go to a resturant, he cant win and will make everyone ( FMIL) upset?
Can you guys tell me what your doing...whos paying etc? PLEASE?
TIA!
gina&ken
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
we're having ours at Umberto's in Elmont, and my mom and her husband are paying. The 4 of us selected the menu together.
Lady Di
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
FIL's are paying and we haven't decided on a restaurant yet...debating between 2. We're having ours at 8pm.
randella
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
Well- everyone is sorta paying for it.. Our parents all gave us funds for the wedding.. so we felt it was not right for someone to throw another party-- so, FH and I are saving and also with money we saved from the wedding budget, like our surplus money- is going towards the RD, then we are also after an after-party-- which we were not goign to ask our parents for more money- above and beyond for.
So, I am planing it- but I put FMIL as the RSVP person cause I didn' want to deal.. My mom is taking care of the CPs- although I bought the vases.. she will just pick out the flowers, etc. Everythign else- falls under my domain though.
Stressed3204
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
FH's parents are paying for it. Which means we really have no say in it. She has invited 40 people to it. We are having it at Le Nook I think it is in Seaford.
treilly13
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
We have 40 people and are paying for it ourselves. It's at an Italian restaurant across from our church.
jimmysgrl
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
My FMIL is planning is and is going to have it like a buffet at the Harrison House.
I want to let you know that in December, I went to a RD at my FH cousin's house and they had WAY over 50 people in a small house and can I tell you, it was one of the best RD I've been to. Its very relaxed, casual and comfortable. You get to really talk to everyone and its nice to be in one location. It really may not be as bad as it sounds.
dm24angel
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
Posted by jimmysgrl
My FMIL is planning is and is going to have it like a buffet at the Harrison House.
I want to let you know that in December, I went to a RD at my FH cousin's house and they had WAY over 50 people in a small house and can I tell you, it was one of the best RD I've been to. Its very relaxed, casual and comfortable. You get to really talk to everyone and its nice to be in one location. It really may not be as bad as it sounds.
Thanks...that made me feel better a little.!
mta
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
FIL's are planning it... sort of! They live in Colorado so we have to have at restaurant. FI and I picked out 3 contenders and they have to choose!
We are having about 50 people. They insisted on sit down too!
Blu-ize
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
You could play it this way:
It usually cost the same if not more to have it at home and it is more convenient in a restaurant. Tell her that it's nice for everyone not to worry about cleaning up and helping and nice for her not to worry about the cleaning. She can still 'host' it at another venue.
Alternatively, maybe you could have a brunch after the wedding at her house?
dm24angel
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
Posted by Blu-ize
You could play it this way:
It usually cost the same if not more to have it at home and it is more convenient in a restaurant. Tell her that it's nice for everyone not to worry about cleaning up and helping and nice for her not to worry about the cleaning. She can still 'host' it at another venue.
Alternatively, maybe you could have a brunch after the wedding at her house?
FMIL wants to cook....fun right? And she told a family member that FBIL and FSIL were helping her finacially with it( meaning Im sure, buying the food)...I dont think they would hand her the money to do it elsewhere..but thats a good suggestion too, Im gonna bring it up.
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
Donna, my fmil is throwing our rd at her small house and there are like over 30 people and 8 kids and its on st patricks day and she is cooking corned beef and cabbage
just suck it up right? what can ya do without hurting someones feelings????
DMcK
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
My FMIL is throwing it. I don't expect to have much input and would like her to have something involving the wedding she feels is 'hers.' We are actually going out to dinner next week to check out one restaurant near the church.
nylibride
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Re: rehersal dinner..ADVISE PLEASE
I noticed your wedding date is in a month. With a group of 30+ people, if you're going to change plans and go with a restaurant, I'd start calling or be flexible with choices with the amount of time you have.
If you are going to be truly unhappy about rd at SIL's house and this is going to affect your happiness the night before your big day, then you or FH should speak up! You could always tell FMIL you really appreciate it but 'she's done so much already' or 'you don't want her to have to worry about anything' and see how that goes. Would you and fh be able to swing paying for it?
Best of luck. Either way, your big day is right around the corner! Congrats!!!
