Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

Original post by aliciahelene

Dec 28, 2004 06:29 PM

First off..I am NOT trying to start up a debate by any means, nor am I trying to say any religion is wrong..I personally feel that there is one God...but I have alot of questions:
I was born and raised Catholic, havent been a practicing Catholic though in quite some time. My husband and I both agree however that wehn we have children, we think its important that they are raised with some kind of faith. Well now that we are adopting two boys, they are both the age where they would be making their first communion if we were to raise them Catholic. BUT..I have personal issues with the church and so I went to speak to a priest today. He was very nice and gave me some books to read, but I am not sure that what I believe can be changed and I feel that I need to believe in my religion if I expect my children too. So I am searching for a religion, one that I can believe in and again I am NOT saying that the Catholic church is wrong, I dont think any religion is wrong, I just need to find one that I agree with. My main problem with Catholocism is that I do not think being in a same sex relationship is a sin..I have deep problems with that and the priest was unable to help me see why it is considered a sin..I mean he explained why the church feels that way, but I dont agree with it. But who am I to disagree with a priest? I am not gay, so this church law does not affect me directly, but what if one of my sons was gay? I dont think I could raise him telling him hes going to hell if he falls in love with another man. Am I missing the boat? Are there any religions that dont view homosexuality as a sin? Again..I am NOT trying to start any type of debate, from the bottom of my heart..I am searching for a religion that I personally feel that I can believe in. Its a personal opinion and Im not judging any religion, so if comes across that way, I apologize. Please help if you can!

nov04LIbride Posted: Dec 29, 2004 10:08 AM

Re: Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

Posted by tracyg

Unitarian Universalist is very open. You can be any religion to join them, and they seem to be pretty liberal. I was thinking of joining them (I was raised Methodist and American Baptist) . I was joking with DH about findign a church that Christians and Jews can go to, and this is pretty much it. Their website says some of the churches even have pagan meeting groups. Worth looking into.

I think Unitarian is the most liberal, and accepting. I know one near me that has a woman lesbian minister. I was raised Presbyterian, which is also very open and liberal, as is Methodist. I went to an Episcopalian boarding school, which was definitely more strict than the other protestant churches, but more liberal than Catholicism. I would try Unitarian. Good luck!

Janice Posted: Dec 29, 2004 10:10 AM

Re: Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

I am a frequent church goer, and a Catholic. My sister is openly gay. I hate that the church ostrasizes(sp) her and tells her that her love for another is wrong. I personally go, take what I can from it, and leave. I take it as my one on one time with God, an hour that I can solely dedicate to Him. I pray at night, but not for an hour, so I feel like this is always the best way to start my week. I am very against many Catholic 'values' I have gone to pentacostal and baptist churches with inlaws and friends, and I don't fit in there at all. I don't carry that lets shout it from the roof tops I love God spirit. sometimes I wish I did, but it makes me uncomfortable. so I remain Catholic in my own way

usuk2004 Posted: Dec 29, 2004 10:15 AM

Re: Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

I think a lot of how you feel about your religion has to do with the priest, pastor, rabbi, etc...There are a lot of liberal priests out there who feel that the Catholic church needs to progress, but it may be difficult to find them.

I inquired about getting married in an Episcopal church because it was most like DH's religion (Anglican) but in the end, we decided to go a different route.

I attended a Methodist church with a friend once and I felt really uncomfortable - but that's probably just me, the specific church, whatever.

Robeymuse Posted: Dec 29, 2004 10:15 AM

Re: Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

Alicia, I was raised Episcopal and my husband was rasied Catholic. We now both attend Episcopal church, fairly regularly and we got married at an Episcopal church. I would recommend that you check it out. While my husband is not offically 'converting', he prefers my church because of how open and welcoming they have been to the both of us. Good luck in your search!

bridget&jimmy Posted: Dec 29, 2004 10:21 AM

Re: Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

One more thing, with whatever religion you choose. Take the parts of it that mean something to you and make it your own. Like someone said you do not have to agree with all the rules and regulations to practice a religion. Just believe what you feel is right and apply it to your life as you see fit.

SandraLynn Posted: Dec 29, 2004 10:27 AM

Re: Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

DH and I were having this conversation the other night and it was b/c I told him that you are adopting these 2 boys.....

My DH is catholic and I am lutheran, we had a pastor from the Unity faith marry us. I believe in a higher power, and pray daily, and I believe that you can 'create' your own beliefs system. I have dabbled in Kabbalah, gone to different churches and I have taken a little bit from each and created my own 'thing'; BUT when it comes to children, they need to start somewhere w/ 'god', 'church' etc. So I would find a nice church you feel comfortable with and start there, the boys will grow up and create their own beliefs, but the foundation of their faith is the most important. At their age they don't need to know about same sex couples, etc...just about Noahs Ark, jesus, etc...the basics. Church Hop on Sundays ! Good luck!

t Posted: Dec 29, 2004 10:32 AM

Re: Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

being part of an interfaith unit. we teach our beliefs at home since we also, had a hard time with the religion institute accepting us. We do attend on high holy holidays but it is hard. You have to do what you feel is comfortable and right for you. Remember children learn from repeititon and a strong family unit. So, on that note that is what we do . Whatever you do will be right do not second guess yourself, it will make it harder.

aliciahelene Posted: Dec 29, 2004 02:14 PM

Re: Religion question..Im doing some soul searching..please help if you can

thanks so much..you guys have been very helpful! Although I know I cant believe 100% of and rleigion, I do know people who claim too and I admire that..in fact I asked the priest this..do I need to believe everything and he told me some things are fleixible, such as leaving right after communion, but things like homosexuality is not debateable...so in my mind..I cant go to church and act like Im believeing what the religion teaches, its not for me..I want to practice what I preach, I think children are very smart and will see right through me if im not happy in my faith, My goal is to find a church that supports my core beliefs..ones that Id like to instill in my children. I will inquire about every religion mentioned..and I really appreciate all of your feedback! You have given me an awful lt to think about. Maybe I wont find something i will believe 100% of, but if I can believe in the majority of it..Ill know if I fit in and that will make me happy! Thanks everyone!