Removing someone from bridal party

This is long, I apologize in advance.

So FH and I have a dilemma: we have 2 people in the bridal party who have seemed to distanced themselves from us. FH's former best friend and him have not spoken in months, and when FH tried to mediate things, his friend acted like he did nothing wrong and that 'people grow up and grow apart.' However, he said that he still wants to be a groomsman.

Now I'm faced with a bridesmaid who is unresponsive to my texts and phone calls. She just started a new job and is absolutely miserable, using that as an excuse, but she is always posting on FB about all of the fun outings she has been on with other people. Her and I are not close, but when I asked her to be a bridesmaid she was ecstatic and said that we had gotten a lot closer from a couple of years ago. My best friend is puzzled and recently asked why I chose to have her in my bridal party, and I told her that my choices are limited and that I was HOPING that this would make her a better friend. I confessed to her that I'm delusional when it comes to how others perceive me, and she said I care too much about how others perceive me. All in all, I'm pretty sensitive and having never been the popular girl with a lot of people to calk my friend, I was hoping this would change when I got engaged.

Is there a nice way to ask someone to step down as a bridesmaid/groomsmen? I don't like drama and confrontation, but I also don't want people involved who don't care about me and do things half-assed.

---

Posted by jtbride2012

From my experience honesty is the best policy but maybe try to make it more of a discussion with your BM and tell her you understand how overwhelmed she must be with work...and lead her into it so she doesn't feel so bad

---

i agree. it does not sound like she did anything horrible and maybe she dosen't even realize that she has not been inclusive. I wouldn't be too harsh unless you really don't want her in your life.

I would definitely talk to them and just say 'hey, we decided to cut down on the bridal party number for financial reasons' and just tell them that they seemed really busy and had so much else going on that you thought this would be best for both parties.

Don't have someone in your day that doesnt make you feel special. You only get this one day and you cant do it over so do exactly what you want!

I would like to cut a certain someone from our bridal party....just saying!

I would speak to her. I know when I was in a wedding for teh first time I had no clue what I was suppose to do. I thought I just bought the dress and show up (seriously I was 24). I did not realize my duties or other things until my friend (the bride) called crying and sending emails stating many of the BM's were not there for her. I really had no clue, called her up and we started crying on the phone (I even told her I would step down)...it was a lack of communication and we made up quickly. Don't assume everyone understands how supportive they need to be...she might be clueless.

BUT if you think that is not the case, then just tell her your downsizing or you want to lessen her stress since being in the BM has a lot of resonsibilty and may be overwhelming for her. OR maybe ask her to do a reading? HTH