Repost from '05-Updated

With less than four months to the big day...I have finally started getting my butt moving again with the wedding planning. Aside from when I first got engaged things have been pretty calm and stress free.....until today. Apparently my MOH has been making some phone calls in preperation for my shower and she wound up calling my mother. Apparently my BMs do not want to kick in much money for my shower and my MOH has decided to have it in her house and the food will be cold wraps and salads. My mother is pissed off because she doesn't think this is appropriate and that it should be in a resturaunt with hot food, yada yada yada...my mom even said she'd kick in the extra money and pick up the slack of the other BMs. Well apparently my MOH said she doesn't like that idea and since SHE is the MOH SHEs the one who decides where and what type of food there will be. Then MOH decides to explain that it can only be one of two weekend because she's too busy the other weekends. And how do I know all of this????? Because my mother is pissed off and decided to vent to ME. Is it me or should I not even KNOW about my shower??????? Quite honestly if it was up to me I wouldn't want my shower with forty people stuffed into my MOH's house but I don't have a say in this do I? Do I step into this and address all of my BMs???? Do I have a fight with my mother and tell her to MYOB and leave me out of this? Help me cause I'm pretty TICKED off right now

Well I thought I'd update you all.....my MOH still hasn't called but one of my other BMs did. Said it was all a ruse to 'throw me off the trail'....'jedi mind trick' yada yada yada. She said she was sorry if they caused me any stress or unpleasantness and that in the end I will be surprised and pleased at what they have planned. I guess I'll keep THIS BM...my MOH is still not off the hook

First - breathe
Secondly, I understand your mother venting to you - although you might not want to hear it now - it is better that she approached you now instead of you walking into you MOH house seeing 40 people and being really pissed off the day of your shower -

I think that your mother really needs to interfere and be your advocate!! to your MOH and tell her nicely that although she knows she is putting a lot of effort and thought into your shower - as your mother, she knows that you will have one shower - and that is probably not the way you would want it (if this is how you feel)

At this point - i really wouldn't be angry at your mom - more at your BM and MOH - since your mom is willing to pay the difference - $ obviously isn't the deciding factor here

I think your mom was hoping for you to resolve the issue. Maybe something along the lines of 'I am the bride and you will listen to my mother' type of statement would make her happy.

I don't think she was trying to spoil anything for you. In fact, I think it was the opposite. She wants to have a nice shower for you, but your MOH won't cooperate. IMHO, I would be peeved at the MOH.

In my situation, my mother laid down the law (and all of the cash) for my shower, so everyone did what she wanted and I never even knew when/where/or anything else about my shower.

Well I am still seething but I'm trying to breathe because now I find out that my MOH hasn't even consulted with ALL of the BMs. Apparently this whole house thing is the MOHs idea and it has nothing to do with money????? I'm really trying very hard not to pick up the phone and call her because I'm afraid something bad is going to come out of my mouth. And apparently after venting all of this to my FH he let me know that MOH hasn't even contacted his mother to run the dates past her. I think i need a margarita with an extra shot of tequila

Another twist in the saga....MOH called to ask me which of two dates is better for me

HELLO......I thought I was supposed to be SUPRISED....i think i've just about had it

can you demote her please

I so feel for you I had the same problem!!!

http://www.liweddings.com/chat/topic.aspx?ID=129686

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Posted by halfpintny

trust me demoting her is not what I have in mind....stringing her up by her hair and letting her hang by her hair is more along what I was thinking

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