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Give what you can...but you should at least try to cover the plates...
That's a hard one. On the one hand, people bring gifts to parties to sort of 'cover' the amount the host had to lay out for the head count, but on the other hand you are right in that you are giving more money then they gave you....honestly? Although I may be in the minority on this one, I would give them as much as they gave you. Only because they probably would've also given you a gift for an e-party if you guys had decided to have one. I never had an e-party so I may be totally wrong.
To me it doesn't matter if they had an e-party or not. I will give what I give based on what I can give and my relationship to the couple.
I definately think you should just bring what you can. Hopefully people didn't invite you there for the gift, but to celebrate with them, so you give to cover your plate, if you can, and if not, than don't.
Thanks everyone for your opinions. The reason I asked is b/c my fmil is insisting that write on the back of every card we recieve at the wedding how much was given that way when that persons wedding comes up we can give the exact same. Now we have about 7 weddings in the next 2 years and besides only 2 other couples didnt have engagement parties. I feel we were already SO generous at the Eparty that we dont have to give exactly as much when their wedding comes around.... I just wanted to see what everyone else thought about it.
